Susan Stiffelman

speaker

353 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2019 last heard Oct 2019

Susan Stiffelman’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 180: Susan Stiffelman on Parenting Without Power Struggles · 20 Oct 2019 podcast

Well, there's very little that you're likely to do but to push back.

So that is act two parenting.

And you can see where it goes.

We're all very familiar with that.

I might end with me saying, you're grounded for a week, which would be more the dictator.

But it doesn't go very well when we approach those issues where a child's upset from that act two parenting.

So when you're ready, we can try it as an act one.

And when you hear me doing act one, I'm not going to go obviously into great depth, but you'll hear that I'm not.

addressing the the complaint directly because once I say no one time, I'm not going to keep repeating it because it disempowers me.

If I keep justifying and explaining why he can't go or she can't go, it only makes it seem like I'm unsure.

So I won't keep repeating and r I won't keep rubbing it in.

But I also will look to get you to acknowledge, to feel acknowledged and validated.

So I'll look to get some yeses from you, some nods of the head, so that you have the sense that I'm the captain, I can hear what's going on for you.

It doesn't freak me out that you're worried about what your friends will think.

I'm big enough and sturdy enough to contain that and listen to that.

And they'll generally you'll you'll feel

a a relaxation in the child.

There'll be a dropping of their guard if this goes well, if they start to feel understood, like, oh, you get me, even though you're not giving me the thing I want.

When I've done this, you know, I speak all I speak at events all over the world for parents, and no matter where I've been, when I bring somebody up to the front of the room to do some of these demonstrations,

it can be very powerful and sometimes parents playing the role of their child actually start crying because they just feel

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