Tanya Coons

speaker

3,654 appearances 23 recordings 1 series first heard Feb 2016 last heard Aug 2022

Tanya Coons’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · Fighting the good fight · 20 May 2019 podcast

We can actually work with them 'cause if we're working with people who are argue completely differently to us, we're not gonna get very far. matched

Yeah, definitely. matched

Um, I spend a lot of my time coaching people how to have a good fight and how to communicate well. matched

And also to notice what's happening in their own body. matched

Because when when we're fighting, um matched

If we have an argument that lasts for more than say three minutes, w it's we're not gonna solve it. matched

So basically a good thing to do would be to call time out. matched

What happens in our body is our brain actually goes offline. matched

We start to flood. matched

When we when we get really stressed or agitated or, you know, things aren't going well, um, our heart rate rises and we start to shallow breathe and when we shallow breathe our body goes into matched

Um matched

The matched

sympathetic nervous system, which is the fight sabretoothed tiger nervous system, right? matched

So what happens when you need to go and fight a sabertooth tiger? matched

Your brain goes offline because you don't need to have a logical chat with a tiger that's coming at you. matched

You also don't need to digest your dinner or to get sexually aroused. matched

So all those things turn off. matched

after about three minutes in an argument. matched

So you'll get into yes you did, no you didn't, yes you did, no you didn't kind of arguing, which isn't spectacularly helpful. matched

It's better then to call time out and let yourself come calm back down, which takes about twenty minutes once you've reached that flooding stage to come back online. matched

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