Tanya Coons

speaker

3,654 appearances 23 recordings 1 series first heard Feb 2016 last heard Aug 2022

Tanya Coons’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · Fighting the good fight · 20 May 2019 podcast

I think well, I don't I don't know two people that will agree on absolutely everything. matched

We all have different opinions, different ways of doing things, different approaches on life, different values, and we're gonna run into that uh from time to time with partners, with friends, with family members. matched

It's just how we are. matched

Yeah matched

That's right. matched

There's some below the belt fighting that's going on there, it sounds like. matched

Um, it could be down to their communication skills. matched

You know, I I'm often when I'm gonna talk to people, if they come to see me to talk about sex, for example, I'll have a look at their communication skills. 'Cause if they're not crash hot in the communicating department, then it's going to be really difficult to have a a chat about something that's quite difficult like sex. matched

So it depends what they were modelled when they were growing up, 'cause really we don't get taught this stuff at school. matched

soak it in from the folks around us about what fighting's about, how to fight. matched

Some people are really excellent at pulling whatever move they need to do to stop an argument because they find the conflict so intense and so overwhelming. matched

They're not going to be able to do that matched

So they they learn to fight quite dirty, you know, they can hit below the belt or say things that will silence their partner. matched

because they can't cope with the fact that they're having an argument or there's some discomfort. matched

Other people are much better at articulating their feelings and what they want. matched

Some people are not very good at listening. matched

And that all really depends on what we saw when we were growing up and how our families fight. matched

I know Alain de Baton says, um we're gonna pick a partner, a life partner, that will be somebody that fights the same way that we do. matched

Like some people can be violent, uh, some people can be verbally aggressive, some people are that, you know, go for the kill that I was just describing. matched

So there's all different ways of having arguments and uh we tend to gravitate towards people who have a style that we know so that we can matched

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