Tara Mohr

And then for 20% of women, it's both, right?

So those women are like, where do you want me to be?

So there's all those, yeah, all those projections put on us.

And there's a lot of, you know, the other piece we often don't talk about enough, I think, with the kind of feedback women get at work is that the research shows that feedback is much more personality driven than it is for men.

Oh, shit.

Is it really?

Yes.

This is actually documented.

Kieran Snyder did a great study looking at performance reviews in corporate and tech companies.

And first of all, women were getting more negative feedback than men.

But when they got negative feedback, 70% of the time, it involved some kind of criticism of their personality.

And for men, that number was 2%.

Wow, that's extraordinary.

What a gap.

It is a huge gap.

And so then, again, we don't have to wonder, why does feedback feel a little scary to us?

Well, it's often more personal.

Because it's personal.

it's kind of shaming, right?

Like that is a shaming thing to say you're too abrasive, you're too aggressive.