Terri (Terry) Cole

speaker

188 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Aug 2026 last heard 8 Aug

Terri (Terry) Cole’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 1.

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Something You Should Know · The Science of Happier Spending & How to Set Healthy Boundaries - SYSK Choice · 8 Aug 2026 podcast

And then I'm all ears for yours.

Well, because it's the way we were raised.

It's what we associate with being kind, being nice, being polite.

So men and women, women in particular, we were really raised and praised for being self-abandoning codependents, right?

The more you worried about other people,

The more generous you were, the more praise you would get.

And so self-care and asserting our own, even just something as simple as a preference, it's almost like that's become vilified to mean that we are being selfish.

So I do think that it's difficult because a lot of us are home-training.

Yeah, understandable.

But let's look at the reality of having healthy boundaries.

is being really generous.

Because think about when we're really stuck in that disease to please, let's say like the people pleasing syndrome, a lot of times that includes saying yes when you would really rather say no.

And if you make a life of making those types of choices, you end up having the closest people in your life not really knowing you, right?

Because you're not giving them, you're giving them sort of corrupted choices

intel or data about you, your preferences, how you feel, what you like, all sort of in the service of being perceived as nice or being perceived as being kind.

But it really isn't authentically nice to say yes when you want to say no because you end up resentful.

You might want to avoid the person.

So in reality, talking true, right, being honest is

setting boundaries with kindness, with love, with grace, that is actually being incredibly generous, and it deepens the intimacy in your relationships.

And also, that would be a rigid boundary because your wife is not waking you up every day at 4.30 to make her coffee or jump her car, correct?

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