Terry Real

Not a lot.

They're better at a lot of other things than men.

But I have to teach women how to be more relational too.

Women are more relational than men, but they need to learn a few skills as well.

I have a one sentence thing to say about addiction.

What we self-medicate, when we self-medicate, is the pain of disconnection.

And the cure for addiction is intimacy.

I'm a big 12-step fan.

I know you are too.

One of my great mentors was Pia Melody, a great light in 12-step.

Yeah.

And I'm saturated with 12-step and 12-step wisdom.

There are things you can do to get sober.

Intimacy will keep you sober.

And I believe that what the pain, yes, trauma, but trauma is disconnection too.

All trauma is is the lack of relationality in, you know, whenever it happened.

What we find intolerable is how lonely we are.

And we turn to what I call a misery stabilizer to make our loneliness tolerable to ourselves.

I said in my first book, I don't want to talk about it, taking a substance for loneliness is like drinking salt water for thirst.

It makes you worse than you started.