Tessa West
speaker
187 appearances
3 recordings
1 series
first heard Jun 2023
last heard Sep 2024
Tessa West’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So at work, if your boss promises to make changes, if the company promises to give you that promotion or raise, they should be putting their money where their mouth is.
You need to see just as much signs of reinvigoration coming from your career as you're willing to give to it because no one person or no one partner can make that relationship get back on track.
It's really critical to be comfortable in a job.
We need to have these kinds of creature comforts.
They contribute to low levels of stress at work.
What ends up happening is when we have big problems at work, when we feel unappreciated, when we feel like we're a runner up, for instance, we tend to underestimate how important those comforts are to tethering us to something that's maybe not so good for us.
The metaphor is you have a partner, you can just always eat the same takeout.
They don't care.
You don't care.
Watch the same Netflix shows, have long patterns of silence, never wear real pants around the person, get a little bit comfortable.
And at work, we have those comforts as well.
And I think they're important to have.
They're necessary conditions, but you need more.
And so
Having a realistic conversation with yourself of how much those creature comforts could potentially pull you back into a career that isn't working for you isn't a conversation I think a lot of us have that we should be having.
This is just a natural part of breaking up with your job.
I talk a little bit about this process called grave dressing, which is this idea that when you break up with anyone, when you end a marriage or you break up with a career, you need to actually spend some time coming up with your narrative of how you're going to explain it to people.
And listeners might be thinking, well, it's not really my job to make other people comfortable with my breakup.
But you're going to be feeling shame, feeling embarrassment.
Maybe your family is going to look at you and say, but you put so much money towards this.
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