Timm Woods
speaker
394 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Timm Woods’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
And so that is going to be with her great axe. The first hit is a... Would have been a total of a 15. However, that's only 7 damage against you. Knocking you back down to 50. It ate up the healing. Then the critical hit hits you. It is going to hit you. She swung the axe and cut into your shoulder as you're recovering. Um...
I might have to ask, Norm, what would you call your most precious body part? She is critically hitting you, so she can hit something very precious to you.
does a quick maneuver, does a jump over you, lands behind you, brings the axe up, and she's credit card swiping you with the battle axe, I'm sorry to say. And with the battle axe right up the butthole, 10 plus 5 is gonna be, no, plus the 4 is 14, 7. more damage against you is going to knock you down to 43 left on Norm the Barbarian out of your original 59.
And then, I'm just going to roll one more time. Yes. She then tries to make a run for it out of the door. Norm, you can make one more attack against her as she runs if you want. Yeah, I'd love to. She has five hit points left if you hit her. Now, unfortunately, it's not your turn, so you don't have advantage on this. You don't get to go reckless on attacks of opportunity. But in spirit,
um in spirit you are reckless oh certainly yes absolutely good clarification yes Not six. Six plus seven. I'm sorry to say he's a 13. Not quite a hit. She runs out the door of the war room again. She is running to the southeast, it seems. And that is going to bring us from the Dwagar turn because, oh, and let me just roll to see if she's able to wake up any of her teammates.
She would have to roll very high to do that while she's running. Nope, she rolled very low. Both of her teammates stay hypnotized. She runs for the southeastern door. I'm going to roll to see if she
makes it there she did make it she just barely threw open the door of the southeastern room a room we don't know what is beyond there opened it shut it behind her almost instantly and we thought we heard the ringing of hammers and we hear some shouting in that room now we'll get back to tim woods and dnd in a second but it's brought to you by aroxon because we need to talk about the elephant in the room
And that is going to bring us from the Dwaygar turn to Magnus Steeltoe gets to go now. Do you want your friend Magnus Steeltoe to do anything right now? Yes. I want Magnus Steeltoe to bitch slap Ehrlich. Certainly. He will do that for you. Ehrlich, he's going to walk up to you. Roll me a D20 plus four for Magnus Steeltoe. That's a 16 bitch slap. 16 plus 4 is a dirty 20 on the bitch slap.
So that is going to be a hit. Were you trying to damage him with the bitch slap or just make a point? A little damage, a little point, a little this, a little that. I'm going to say it's three points of damage in all against Ehrlich the Warlock.
Is it towards his shredder head or? Oh. It's a great point. Were you slapping him in the face, given that you don't necessarily know this, but the shredder head is floating above Erlik's actual gnomish head? No, I wanna go for lower, yeah. I'll say that she can swipe through, realize it's an illusion, then still smack him in the face if you want her to. Yeah, yeah, let's do that.
So she realizes he's not as tall as he seems. Her hand goes right through his head, and then she backhands below. where Shredder's stomach would be. It hits Erlik right in the face. For three points of damage, Erlik, you're down to 42 out of 45 left, which puts you, Norm, just one point of damage ahead of Erlik right now.
And that will be all of the Dwaegar turn, And Magnus Steeltoe's turn bringing us to Norm's turn now. Norm, your official turn is now up. What would you like to do? You saw Shredette run through the southeastern door. You don't know any information about the other doors. And you know that there are two hypnotized Dwaygar in the room. There's also a map in front of you that you could try to study.
But I'll warn you, that's not what barbarians are good at.
I do too. Yeah, she was running towards there.
Absolutely. You throw open the door to the southeastern room, revealing a mighty forgework's There are all of these anvils with chains going above them with like big mine carts and stuff that are hovering by. You see that she is shouting orders at a pair of Dwagar with goggles on looking very shredder because of their spiky armor.
They pick up these weapons that Norm, since you're looking at them, you can roll a d20 minus one to see if you can figure out what the hell these weapons are. 20. Oh, a natural 20. Natural 20. You are able to put together what's going on here. These look almost like blunderbusses, an item that does exist in the world of D&D.
Primitive, simple guns, basically, except they have little sparks of fire at the end. like a pilot light, kind of, that just keep flickering. They get these weapons, they begin to march towards you with them, pointing them at you, and one of them, I think that's why you got a critical hit, had to test his out. He presses the trigger and...
Like a dragon's breath, these flamethrowers are getting closer and closer to you. I'm gonna roll the flamethrower duagar into initiative separately. They are gonna go after Magnus' next turn, so luckily you got some time. But you notice that in this room there is
a on the eastern side a pit that drops down into the depths below as if it leads to a third level of this dungeon it seems wow and just before that pit there is a duagar chained up but not against his will He's an old duagar, almost as old as the high priest was. That guy's gotta be a blacksmith. He's gotta be like a worker.
He seems like he is managing the forge, giving the orders to the other blacksmiths who have the flamethrowers now, and he looks like he's a forge priest of some kind, using forge magic to make better items. And it is clear that he is in charge of this whole operation in this room. But the stepsister is shouting orders to him as well as the two guys with flamethrowers right now.
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