Timm Woods
speaker
394 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Timm Woods’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Okay. And then the next one will be a 4. A 4 and a 5 is 9, plus another 4 is going to be 13. You can tell this guy with the axe continues retreating. He's not quite halfway dead yet. And this guy looks pretty tough. Anyone who's looking at these two greyskin dwarves can immediately roll a d20. If you roll well enough, you might know who it is we are fighting right now. I roll?
Are we all looking at it? Everybody can, 100%. Everybody who is down there right now, which I would say at this point, is everybody. I got a four. Absolutely. I got a two again. I roll a one.
Wow, absolutely. And Max, you also can try. The problem is you can't communicate because you're in turtle form.
Turtle power. That's a problem. That would be a six. A six is not enough still.
A d20, yes.
You want to roll one d20 to see if you're... And you add a plus two for your nature skill as well. All right, all right. Seven. Seven.
They have gray skin, white hair, and their eyes are really creepy. No pupils or irises. Pure white. And as they are fighting us, they look like they are vicious and much larger than a dwarf should be. At this point, Norm, if you could just roll for Magnus as well, since he's not dead, he might know what's going on here. Two again. Two again. Actually, he has advantage on this because he's a dwarf.
Of course he does. And Wayne, you can roll a second time as well because you're also a dwarf. Twelve. Twelve. He might know something about this. Okay. And then, Wayne, let's see if you also know. That's a leaner. Yeah, cocked die. Absolutely. Roll again, 100%.
I think I double cocked.
No, okay, fair enough, fair enough. That's a four. No, okay. It was almost a 20. We get the name from Magnus Steeltoe. I'll just say Horngrim might have known the exact answer to this automatically, but he knows that there are different types of dwarves, sir, mountain dwarves, there are hill dwarves, and then there are what is known as the deep dwarves, the duagar.
They are evil dwarves who, instead of delving down to the earth, come up from the deepest levels of the Underdark and make war upon their surface brethren, the good dwarves who live on the surface. The duagar must have come creeping up from below, burrowed their way into the vault, and it is very likely that They are the ones who have stolen the treasure that we are looking for.
Duagar would love to get their hands on things like axes and magic weapons created by their surface brethren. And so we know we are fighting some evil dwarves who have the ability to magically enlarge themselves and turn invisible. And so that was Magnus Steeltoe and then the Duagar on their turn. Horngrim is out of initiative. So Poopy Stinks the Orc starts going, oh!
You guys, you've got to start killing them. Do better, do better. And Norm, we are up to you now. What would you like to do?
You immediately ready your axe. You go, yeah, get him. Get them, get them. And before he even realizes what you're doing, you're already pivoting in midair and going to hack into Poopy Stinks. Go ahead and, you already have advantage. You get to roll the d20 two times because you're surprising him. But let me ask, are you also going reckless? I'm going reckless.
16 is great, 100%. 15. 15. So with the 16, and I think you have a plus like seven on your attack. That's a 23. And Poopy Stinks goes, no, my armor's higher too because you set the difficulty to, ah! And it's still enough to hit him. Well done. You are hitting him, but I know how many hit points he has currently. Go ahead and roll 2d6 plus six damage, assuming, of course, you are raging right now.
That is the d6. Bingo. You want to roll that two times and add six to the total. One. That's bad. That's not great. That's bad. Seven damage so far. Four. Four. Four. That's 11 damage total. And at this difficulty, Poopy Stinks had 10 HP. He is just barely slain with your first attack. Well done. And immediately, I will let you touch the blood stain and move the slider. Touch it.
We're going back to easy, boys. We don't have Poopy Stinks to get up our ass anymore. You can now tell the Dwaygar with the axe is halfway dead now, everybody.
His hit point bar just went down. Well done. Sucker. My dick poopy stinks. Absolutely. And nothing more satisfying than getting to kill people that we can't normally kill over the internet.
You still have one more attack. Okay. Who would you like to deliver it to? There's one Dwaygar who is now, thanks to you, halfway dead. All right, I gotta kill the Dwaygar, right? You can also see a full-strength Dwaygar pointing a crossbow at us. Oh. So you can go after either one.
You'll easily probably be able to kill the one who has- Let's take the crossbow guy, because then you guys can clean up.
Showing 101–120 of 394 · page 6 of 20
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