Timm Woods
speaker
394 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Timm Woods’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Are you hoping to hit one of the visible Dwagar, or are you just going to try to spin?
14 is just enough that when you add your athletics bonus, I was looking for a 15 or higher, you are crashing into something. Now, roll me a d20, but two times, and take the lower number. You have disadvantage because they're invisible to see whether your sword hits them or not. Seven. Seven. And roll one more time. Take the lower note. Eighteen.
So with the seven plus your long sword, it says you have a plus what to hit? Plus six. Plus six. So seven plus six, thirteen. I'm sorry to say you bumped into somebody. Your sword kind of cut into some armor, but it didn't hit whoever they are. However, you get two attacks per turn. So now you can roll again with disadvantage to try to hit this person.
You do know where they are. In fact, you don't have disadvantage anymore. I like that. Roll one time to hit them now. What is that?
It looks like a 13. It's a 13. Absolutely. 13 plus 7 is a dirty 20. And that is going to be a hit. Well done. Now, with your sword, it says you have 1d8 plus 3 damage, I think. Is that right? My longsword is 1d8 plus 3. Absolutely. Now that's what it would be if you don't smite. If you burn up one of your valuable smiting spells, it could be an extra 2d8.
Or if you burn up a second level one, a very powerful one, that would be an extra 3d8. So you could deal 4d8 plus 3 damage to whoever this is. I'm holding off on smite. You're holding off on smite 100%. So it would just be 1d8 plus 3. That's all.
This? The D8 would be this one right here. Kind of looks like two pyramids stuck together. Seven. Seven, absolutely seven, plus three is gonna be 10 damage. You hear a grunt from what sounds like a female duagar, as far as you can tell, and I'm gonna roll, because since you hurt them, they might lose their invisibility spell if I get less than a 10 on this.
So just one roll, they have a good bonus on this. And with a, the number they needed to get was a 10. They got a six plus three is only a nine. They become visible. And that is when you see a familiar face. Step sister. It is a Dwaygar, but it seems as though it is the step sister. sister of Wayne, who of course was not related to him.
And you are realizing now there are signs of like makeup on her neck still where she was wearing a disguise that would make her look like a surface dwarf. And she has apparently been a duagar this whole time. She was a traitor. She says, I knew I should have left that stupid ogre alive and taken him with me. That simp. But I have the treasure now, me and my friends.
And the other Dwegr are like, hey, we're not winning this fight right now. And she grabs the axe, and she is absolutely going to try to fight back against you. But it's not her turn just yet, Greg. Greg, amazing turn.
Sorry, Greg, also, I'm just trying to remember, do you remember what you got on that first attack that would have hit her? I'm trying to remember because I forgot you had bardic inspiration. You could have used bardic inspiration.
It was low. You're absolutely right. It wouldn't have been enough with the disadvantage. Got it. So you still have bardic inspiration if you need it. Did we try to fuck? His stepsister? So his stepsister did join the adventure. We used her as bait to lure out some orcs. Okay. I don't think any of us tried to fuck her.
The question was whether Wayne would, but that was really hinging on whether she was a stepsister or a sister.
In theory, she kept that from us. So that's kind of on her a little bit. So it is an issue possibly. But the good news is she's definitely not biologically related to you now. You can confirm that for sure. And hippo Maximus in snapping turtle form.
We did establish she had very high charisma. She's a looker, your stepsister. Hell yeah. Still is, even if she has, like, gray skin and white hair. It kind of looks pretty good. And she's giant size now. So if muscle mommies are your thing, that's absolutely the status at the moment. Yep.
Everyone say the Shredder oath together now, 100%.
That's pretty wild. Yeah. And Hippo Maximus, you're up to you, and you know the Dwagar are going to go right after your turn. Two of them are hypnotized. Shredette has taken 10 points of damage, but is not halfway dead yet. And the Dwagar with the crossbow is also not hypnotized and is almost halfway dead.
Also, Hippo Maximus, you do have two healing potions, I'm going to say, that you've been given as a gift. It's the perfect thing to heal if you get injured or just on a long plane ride, you can drink your two healing potions.
Would they bring me back to... In theory, someone might bust you drinking them and start telling people about you drinking both healing potions, but in theory right now, you could just kind of swallow them whole and heal. I would like to swallow those potions. In theory, you don't need it yet because you haven't been injured yet.
100%. It's a long dungeon crawl. And you could drink them now. You aren't injured yet. So they really wouldn't benefit you at the moment. I still would like to drink them.
Showing 161–180 of 394 · page 9 of 20
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