Uncle Lazer

You know what I'm saying?

What are we talking about?

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

How's it been going for you?

Any wild nights?

Tony, I'm out nowhere in Nashville and this is more of an Austin restaurant, but I think I found out who the Randy Street Wrangler is.

For those y'all don't know, there's a serial killer in Austin.

He done killed like 30

We're like boys that fit my description to a T. But the other night, there's a little girl, I see a little nighttime ballerina, and she calls me and she goes, hey, if I give you $3,500, would you come over here and fuck me in front of one of my clients while he watches?

And I said, is that going to be cash or check?

You know?

And I went, and I get there, and he's wearing a diaper, like an adult diaper.

And I'm thinking when I drive there, I'm like, he's probably some decrepit old man, you know, just trying to live out a sexual fantasy.

When I get there, he was 6'8", 285 pounds, and he was nonverbal.

He just looked at you real weird.

He sounded like a diesel engine when he opened the door.

M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.

And I had to fuck my best friend while he watched in the corner to the greatest hits of Creed.

And I didn't know they had a Spotify playlist for cuckolding music, but son of a bitch.