Vanessa Marin

So let's start with first just purely physiological.

Our bodies are not capable of sustaining that level of intensity for longer than six to 12 months.

So the chemical processes that happen in our brain are so intense, so overwhelming.

It's the equivalent of being high on cocaine, essentially.

We're literally addicted to that person.

We can't get enough of them, right?

But our brains are just physiologically incapable of maintaining those same levels of neurotransmitters for longer than about a year, if you're lucky.

Physically, it's just not even possible.

But making it even worse...

A lot of us take our foot off the gas once we've gotten into a relationship.

And if you think about like every romance that you've seen on TV and in the movies, the focus is always on like getting the girl, right?

Or like getting together and there's something that's in your way, something little you have to overcome and then now you're together and you live happily ever after.

And so so many of us have that idea in our heads of that's how it goes.

Once I get the person, once I lock them down, we're committed, we're married, whatever it is, like we're good, right?

And so a lot of us just go into coasting mode and we stop doing the things that helped us feel so connected to our person in the first place.

Can I tell you one of my favorite rules for your sex life?

Okay, it's called fuck first.

So before you go out to eat, go to a party, any sort of event, have sex first.

So many of us have this idea, especially with date night, we think, oh, you go out to the restaurant, you have a nice date, and then you come home and you have sex.

But let's be real, you go out to the restaurant, you overeat, you over drink, you come home, you're bloated, you're gassy, you're uncomfortable, you just want to put on your PJs and put Netflix on and sit on the couch, right?