William Stixrud
speaker
322 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2019
last heard Jul 2021
William Stixrud’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And so so often parents say of a kid who
uh is is underachieving and and there's a lot of adult energy trying to get him to work harder and and they're afraid to pull back.
And I often say, Well, how much worse would it be?
I if it takes him if three months to kind of get the idea that this is his life.
He's gonna have to work harder, would that really be such a huge profound setback?
Given how destructive it is for a kid to continue this with all this bickering and fighting and all this attempts to force it.
And um I just don't like it when when adults spend when when adolescents spend an awful lot of their energy trying to resist other people's attempts to get them to do what's probably in their own best interest.
It just doesn't make
Yeah, over the years that I I've worked with a lot of families who have the I've talked with the parents and they're telling me about a kid's problem.
And one of them, s usually the mom, but sometimes the dad will break into tears and say, I just want him to feel good about himself.
And after they stop crying, I say, I think we can more convincingly help him feel good about himself if we aren't so worried sick about him.
And there's a chapter in our book we called a non-anxious presence.
And our view is that it's really in kids' best interests if if the parents move in that direction of being a non-anxious, not overly reactive presence.
And in the ch in this chapter, we talk about some of the ways that parents can get past some of the fear we have as parents.
As Ned said, is taking the long view.
for many people is is the is is really powerful.
And it's also true that that some kids are are just uh have more limitations and and they have a harder time.
And we talk about in the book about the wisdom of
In some case is making peace with our worst fear.
If I if my kids never get in via pendant, um would could I could I still love him?
Showing 241–260 of 322 · page 13 of 17
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