Xylog

speaker
4 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Mar 2025 last heard Mar 2025

Xylog’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Appearances

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People of Earth, this is your Supreme Commander, Xylog. Our invasion was flawless. Your armies were nothing. Your weapons? Use us! Victory was ours. And then... We touched your shirts. Soft. Too soft. A fabric so unnatural, so repulsive, it made my cousin Shlasky soil his spacesuit. We had no choice but to retreat. But hear me now. This is not over. Cease all production. Destroy every last shot.
And for the love of the galaxy, do not go to sundaycool.com. If you do, we will return. The next time, we will be ready. I had no idea.
People of Earth, this is your Supreme Commander Xylog. Our invasion was flawless. Your armies were nothing. Your weapons? Use us! Victory was ours. And then... We touched your shirts. Soft. Too soft. A fabric so unnatural, so repulsive, it made my cousin Shlersky soil his space suit. We had no choice but to retreat. But hear me now. This is not over. Cease all production. Destroy every last shot.
And for the love of the galaxy, do not go to sundaycool.com. If you do, we will return. The next time, we will be ready.
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