Bob Dylan Sucks | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
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Who is the strongest comedian according to the bears?
welcome to another episode of two bears one cave i'm here with my buddy bertrand the strongest comedian living this the strongest living comedian am i the strongest comedian am i the strongest comedian i don't know that's a good question top five top ten
I think you're probably top ten. Top ten easy.
No, wait. You mean like known comedian?
325.
I mean, let's talk about it. Okay, you brought it up. Yeah, yeah. Google how many people in the world can bench 325 pounds. Let's see. That's a... How many centimeters in an inch?
Wow, less than 10%. Less than 10%. Only a small percentage. Less than 10% can bench 310 pounds. Yeah. Yeah.
That's so funny. That's not what I got when I Googled it. It was like 0.01% of the world. I think that's fine. 10% of the world can bench 325 pounds. That's a lot of strong motherfuckers. Well, it is saying less than 10, which is pretty broad.
Less than 10%. I think it's 0.01.
I know that if you do 400 pounds bench, you're in a very small— So I got one readout that said— There you go.
Of dedicated weightlifters. That's not of the population. Of dedicated weightlifters can do 400. Do you think there's people in the population that can bench 400 pounds that don't lift weights? There's a couple freak shows for sure, like genetic anomalies, you know, like farmer's sons who are just out there hauling hay every day that are like freak shows. Yeah, but most of the time, this is like somebody really dedicated to doing that.
So walk me through how you felt when you saw the video of me benching 325 pounds.
Well, I was proud of you. It went through a phase where at first you were like, I don't know if I can. This is when you had the first date, which was I think New Year's Day. And you were like, I've gotten, I forget, 290 or something. And you were going to do 305 or 315? Right before New Year's, I did 305 twice.
And then I did 315, but it was like touch and go.
Well, I thought before that, when you were like, I've gotten 290 or something, I was like, yeah, you might, you might not. It was like kind of up in the air. Once you told me you were moving it, but upping the weight, I actually thought you were crazy for a second because you're like, I got this, but now I'm moving the day and I'm raising the weight. I was like, that's pretty crazy because if you're not there, you're making it much harder. Then when you told me you had done a couple reps of 305, I was pretty certain you were going to get it.
It's interesting how you can do the math about that, but even still, Arnold kind of fucked me up, and he was like... He's like, it's crazy. Sometimes you get 350 pounds and then they put on two and a half and you can't get it off your chest. It's mental. It's fucking mental. I do think that's true.
I also think there's days, like I tell you, my dad used to track all his lifts in a journal, right? And he was doing Olympic lifting. But he said he also would write down how he was going into that day. So I was super tired or energized. Thinking there'd be a correlation between like I feel like shit and bad lifts or I feel great and good lifts He was like they never lined up Really? I could go in there feel like I didn't sleep well and whatever and have a great lift and then I would have great Feeling days and have bad lifts Did you do you feel like that was stand-up sometimes? that's interesting yeah kind of I know especially you know the first time you tour on a big scale like for me that would have been I don't know probably like 2016 or 17 so I'm like going into theaters and you would clock like oh I'm in I'm just making it up but like I'm in Madison the show was great And then you go, so Madison only has great shows. Like that's the, your brain registers it.
And you go to indie, the show sucked. You're like, so indie sucks. And you come through the next time and you're like, so Madison will be great. And it's not great. And you're like, what the fuck? And then indie is great. And you're like, oh, this is totally an inverse of what I thought. And then the more you tour, you realize that, that every night it can go any which way.
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Chapters
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