Live from the Rose Bowl | 2 Bears 5K ft. Jelly Roll, Ari Shaffir, Joe DeRosa & Are You Garbage?
episode
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
1h 12m
5 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 20 days ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What’s happening at the Rose Bowl for the 2 Bears 5K live show?
What's up? Are you in Austin? Are you visiting Austin? Do you live in Austin? Well, I welcome you to please come check out Ciccio Bomba. That is the Italian bakery that I have opened in Austin. We are now at three locations. We're at the Fairground Food Hall underneath the Wells Fargo building downtown. We are in the lobby of the Scarborough Building. And we have our all-new flagship location at 1100 South Lamar. right in front of the Alamo Draft House. We have pastries, we have coffee, we have homemade Italian sandwiches, we have pizza, we have pasta. So just come in, rub my big belly, which it's in our statue, eat some food and enjoy yourself. And I hope you have a good time at Ciccio Bomba, which means a little fat ass.
Hundred percent. Hello everybody! Hi everyone! Oh, this chair feels fucking nice. Oh my god. Did anyone else say the p personal best today? Is anyone downweight from the first time they ran it?
They're out of breath. Did anyone set a really crazy time on the first heat? Five minutes. Yeah.
Twenty two minutes. Personal best. Wow. Just shy of a 5K.
Thank you guys for coming out. Give yourselves a round of applause. Thank you for being here everybody.
This is a live podcast. We have a bunch of comedians. We're gonna bring them up in and out. My name's Bert. This is Tom, and we are live at the Rose Bowl. Yes,
sir. I just cramped walking up to this. My calf cramped. And I'm scared about the next hour.
My toenail's gonna come off. Cool. Y yeah, you can have my
toenail, sir. Fuck yeah, dude. Sell that shit.
I uh I'll tell you this is uh such a cool, cool experience. And it's so nice to see all these people out here and to see so many familiar faces with the fun t shirts. I see one where I'm tucking my dick between my legs. Thank you. That's awesome. A picture from when Tom and I did a show with vivid uh porn stars.
Yes.
We saw Evan Stone's cock. That was a great
day.
Yes.
That was a really great day. There's yeah. That's me as um yeah. A cool lady. Brigitte, sorry.
So I think it's only fitting if we start off this podcast by bringing up what I think is the third bear, the third biggest most important guy here. It's me, Tom, and Jelly. Every time we do these He did this the last time two years ago at oh I think over 500 pounds. Today he's weighing in anywhere between two fifty and two seventy. Oh shit. Ladies and gentlemen. Wow. Jelly roll. Jelly.
I love y'all. What's up, Los Angeles? Burke, I'm sure you've already been talking about it, but fuck this microphone is scorching hot, which it might sound hot
too. It's really
hot.
I might have to
borrow a fucking towel.
Alpha. Oh, that's gonna catch on fire.
Fucking watch out for that one. All right, I'll
move that one
to the shade. Um I heard so many stories out there. We finished with a guy who lost three hundred pounds when he heard about this race two years ago. Yeah,
that was amazing.
So there was two guys that have lost 250. Where's that? But is he still here if y'all know this guy? But he's got a shirt that says every mile matters. He's with his he met his wife at last year at Tampa. Yeah. You want to talk about a real two bears love story, Tom? That's pretty crazy. This dude lost, he heard about the first one, lost a bunch of weight to run in the second one, and then met his wife at the second one and lost a lot more weight. Now him and his wife are here for the third one.
That's awesome. You guys should do anal tonight. You've earned it. That's amazing.
What's amazing is he showed us a picture of him and his biggest. And I think everyone's got one of those pictures. And you always wish I was a little bit bigger because I've lost the weight. His is the best biggest picture I've ever seen. Oh, for sure. Family came to his house to say goodbye to him. They thought he was gonna die, and today he ran a fucking five K. Let's go. Isn't it cool
that you can laugh at that now?
It's hysterical now that you were bigger than my six hundred pound life. Bro, you c
you can laugh about the fact that you had a funeral planned. Everyone was like, We gotta get this huge fucking casket. They make one for the circus, we can borrow it.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What’s happening at the Rose Bowl for the 2 Bears 5K live show?
0:00–11:04
2
How did Jelly Roll’s weight‑loss journey change his life?
11:04–22:41
3
What crazy airplane bathroom stories did the crew share?
22:41–31:05
4
Why did H. Foley and Kevin Ryan get a special shout‑out?
31:05–39:46
5
What surprise award did Ari Shaffir receive?
39:46–48:06
6
How did Joe DeRosa’s comedy career evolve after the 2 Bears race?
48:06–56:41
7
What behind‑the‑scenes moments made this episode unforgettable?
56:41–1:05:24
8
What are the final thoughts and upcoming plans for the next 2 Bears event?
1:05:24–1:11:57
Speakers
5 identifiedMore from 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Jelly Roll Called The President A Fat Pig | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Breaking Down The Barstool Brawl | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Stavvy Called Us Out | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Tom & Bert's Brutally Honest Odyssey Review | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Fat Tommy Vs Skinny Tom | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
Bert Gets Bullied By Lou Reed's Ghost | 2 Bears, 1 Cave