What Percent Gay Are You? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
episode
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
1h 12m
4 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 9 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What does Hunter Biden’s 48% gay claim have to do with the episode’s theme?
Hundred percent.
How do Bert and Tom calculate their ‘percent gay’ using clothes and other factors?
Welcome to another episode of Two Bears One Cave. He's Bert.
Why do the hosts compare John Stockton and Jason Williams in their discussion?
I'm Tom.
What is the California slavery‑disclosure bill and how does it affect the hosts?
Um very exciting day. I did not know that Hunter Biden said he's now 48% gay.
Why are the Philadelphia Eagles male cheerleaders a hot topic for the hosts?
And what it made me want to discuss with you is what percent gay do you think you are?
Wow. More than forty eight, I think.
What are the hosts’ thoughts on comedians creating OnlyFans accounts?
More than forty eight.
How do the Mountain Dew summer‑sizzle submissions inspire the show?
Probably.
What key takeaways wrap up this episode’s wild conversations?
I uh yeah. I mean, I've actually I actually had this conversation with my daughter this morning making coffee.
This morning you talked about how gay you are? This morning I
had this conversation with Georgia, yeah.
Well, how did it go?
Yeah. I can't believe you brought this up.
How did he say this in an interview? Do we have the clip? Like, do we know the full Oh he
really s Hunter Biden really said this? This
is what I I yeah, I think so. What do you think? I thought you
just made that up and I was like crazy intro.
Uh no, I mean it's real. I just is this is fascinating because you can you know, sexuality is fluid. We know that. That's something that's it go it's uh it's all over the map. People can can morph and change and have desires change. But I wanna know his what his gayness is, because this is a new thing. Is that what he's doing the rounds, man? He's doing all the rounds. Is he promoting
gay? Really? Wow. Are you gay? Um only um uh only a little bit. I think more or less than fifty percent. What? More or less than fifty percent. Uh uh forty eight point six. Did I hear you're a painter? Okay. Well that was kind of a
jokey answer though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not You know. Like if Destefano said that, I'd be like, Yeah, that's uh that's about
right. Yeah. Uh
if Bru
Bremmaroon Brody said he was uh he was What what did Bro what did Brody say? Where's r red red band would know that? He's uh What would can someone find out what Brody said on Rogan? That was like the funniest clip.
About how gay he is?
Yeah.
Yeah, so there's funny thing 'cause then you think about people you know, right? Like like De Stefano, of course, we know, is probably sixty three percent gay. And then, you know, you said Red Band, I'd say he's about thirty percent. Tony Henchcliffe's probably about seventy seven percent gay. The Joe Ogan experience. Here you go.
Yeah, there's Amish porn. Yeah. I don't think they're really Amish. I don't think you're allowed to fuck in front of a camera if you're Amish. I think it steals your soul. Or is that Indians? How's that work? It's
such a different Joe back then. That's so funny. Yeah.
It's such
a different Joe.
Keep going. Oh,
is it? Oh. Yeah, yeah, that's forty four minutes. Yeah, it's ten percent gas.
Let's just watch for p for forty four minutes and see where where it is.
Well, how many views does it have? It might get more than ours. It's good. Let's just walk let's just play a Rogan episode. I think it would work.
And then we'll just be like, So there you go. There's that episode.
Cut to a salmon mark pro clip. Then a fucking bad friends, and I think we got an episode.
Um okay, but back to the subject at hand. So so this is what
gay this is what I said at Georgia.
Okay.
I said when I was a child, I we weren't allowed to explore our sexuality. There was no openness to being gay. There was it was like and I and I I was saying I I I was really like, I mean, I I know I'm straight because that's the thing I like. Mm-hmm. But I, you know, I got I didn't always have it easy with women. I never had it easy with women. And I bet if it was like socially acceptable to suck your friends' dicks and have your friends suck each other's dicks, yeah, I would have spitefully gone gay out of my resentment towards women, my fucking shit. Shunning, I would have shunned the female community as a whole and been like, fuck you, you don't want me. Like I don't want you either. And I would have just fucking sucked my friend's dicks.
I b I I actually believe this about you. And I also feel like there's part of your personality where you're like, whatever, this is fun or this is funny or like doesn't it feel good? Like you don't like it? And I
would have been, yeah. I would have been I would have been I would have been a closeted Straight man sucking dudes' dicks.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does Hunter Biden’s 48% gay claim have to do with the episode’s theme?
0:00–0:05
2
How do Bert and Tom calculate their ‘percent gay’ using clothes and other factors?
0:05–0:09
3
Why do the hosts compare John Stockton and Jason Williams in their discussion?
0:09–0:11
4
What is the California slavery‑disclosure bill and how does it affect the hosts?
0:11–0:18
5
Why are the Philadelphia Eagles male cheerleaders a hot topic for the hosts?
0:18–0:27
6
What are the hosts’ thoughts on comedians creating OnlyFans accounts?
0:27–0:28
7
How do the Mountain Dew summer‑sizzle submissions inspire the show?
0:28–0:29
8
What key takeaways wrap up this episode’s wild conversations?
0:29–1:12:04
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
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