ACS: Almost Live Podcast

After a quick plug for our sponsors over at audible.com, Adam compliments Teresa on her late 60s swingin look today. She's wearing Daisy Dukes, which reminds her of the news that actress Catherine Bach's husband recently committed suicide. It reminds Adam of a different story; when Donny approached Catherine at a party to pull a piece of lint off her sweater. He thought maybe they'd start a conversation, but she gave him a 'what the fuck' look and turned back around. Talking more about drinking and hogging, Teresa mentions that she likes how Bret Michaels will have sex with just about anyone. Adam explains that while some guys are wired to be attracted to attractive women only, 'some guys are wired to have sex like they do in the animal kingdom. Like a wildebeest.' It's a 'Pussy First' mentality, and not important if the woman is attractive, it's just a matter of 'who got laid last night? Smell of hands.' Unfortunately, Adam's pilot did not get picked up. He says, 'I now realize there are one or two at the top that are shoo-ins, one or two on the bottom that are dead on arrival, and then there's like five or six in the middle and I never really thought about the middle part [...] That's where you get burned.' He goes on to explain (summarized) 'When I heard that news, I thought good. You can all look forward to a show. Not the Adam Carolla Podcast, but the Adam Carolla Show. We're going whole hog.' He also reminds everyone to purchase tickets for the next live show at the El Portel in North Hollywood on June 12th. Teresa mentions the first news story: Charlie Sheen may wind up behind bars for 45 days for his attack against his wife Brooke. Now the attorney's want to know: can Charlie smoke in prison? Adam says we should put him with the lifers, since second hand smoke kills and they're on the way out anyway. He also goes on a rant about the ridiculousness of having a bruise on the upper arm considered abuse. Jake Pavelka, of Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars fame, enters the recording studio. After discussing the thrills of dancing in his underwear, Jake also mentions that he is a jet flight instructor. Teresa says she would love to learn how to fly, but Jake compares his job to being a lifeguard. You watch the planes and help out if things go wrong. They talk more about flying and how all the airlines are overregulated. Adam thinks it's amazing that he can't bring an unopened Coke can onto the plane, but a huge heavy steel tripod gets by no problem. Teresa says if she had her baby and her bottle, she could not go through with the bottle. Adam wonders, 'the terrorists have won, right?' Teresa asks Jake about his romantic life, and he goes on to explain how his heart was broken on The Bachelorette. Adam says 'I remember liking you because you were a pilot, and you were clean,' which according to Teresa is why they brought him back for The Bachelor. Jake responds, 'I thought it was because I cry all the time.' Adam goes on to suggest that 'Women don't want a cry baby, but they don't want a man who never cries either [...] Crying is like the Derringer in the boot.' After wrapping The Bachelor, Jake says his status with Vienna is going great. They're looking for wedding dates, and both of their careers are in full swing. The plan is to bounce back and forth between their house in Dallas and their apartment in LA, but Adam also wants to know if he's been approached for any bootlegged porn opportunities. Jake jokes that actually Larry Flynt left him a message. You can follow Jake on Twitter at: Jakepavelka1, or check out his Facebook page (the one with him in his pilot uniform). Teresa can be heard more on The Parent Experiment, or at exploitingmybaby.com. Bryan is on The Film Vault, and his Twitter is baldbryan. Produced: Donny Misraje Audio: Katie Levine Search: Logan Moy Build and Edit: Logan Moy Show Summary: Matt Fondiler See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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