S1 E47 ADHD Women & Burnout | Why Rest Doesn't Make You Feel Better
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What is ADHD burnout and why doesn’t rest make you feel better?
If I ask you if you've ever been completely exhausted and then you rest and somehow feel worse, would that make sense?
Or you take a day off or a weekend or even a vacation and you come back and nothing's actually better?
You realize your body may have stopped, but your brain hasn't. And that's not burnout you can fix with rest. That's something else. Today, we're talking about burnout, but not the kind people usually mean. This is Angry on the Inside. I'm Jess. And I'm Janine.
We're both certified ADHD coaches, but this podcast isn't coaching.
Not therapy or medical advice.
It's real, honest conversations about being women with late-diagnosed ADHD and everything that goes along with it. So take what resonates and leave the rest.
When we hear others talking about burnout, it's typically through a neurotypical lens. You've been doing too much, so you need to rest. Right. Take a break, get sleep, drink some water. And that does work if the issue is physical depletion.
Yeah. ADHD women, it's something that looks like burnout, but it's not just that.
It's more like you're exhausted from holding your life together.
It's not just what you're doing, it's how much effort it takes to do anything at all.
I do want to take a moment to sort of circle back on what I mean when I say the neurotypical lens. We are talking about physical depletion, and many times people will say burnout, but we also know the word exhaustion. When we think about exhaustion through a neurotypical lens, We're thinking people can be hospitalized due to exhaustion because their bodies have become depleted. But when we talk about that type of burnout, when we explain that type of exhaustion, that is a type of exhaustion that... What's the word I want to say? I can't find the right word.
Because that is about addressing the physical issues, which are almost easier. That is how you do the... Take rest or make sure you get enough sleep. Make sure you're eating right.
And it's not to dismiss it in any way because it is very, very serious. But it comes down to that physical depletion. Physical depletion allows you to be able to take physical steps, physically rehydrate, physically rest. And for those things to actually have a positive impact on your body in a very short amount of time.
Don't you feel like intuitively you also know how to take care of that type of burnout? It seems like you know why you feel the way you feel and what you can do about it.
On the ADHD side, it starts getting confused. We start seeing signs that we assume are exhaustion or burnout, but we continue to push well past that. We're used to being able to say, okay, yeah, I'm going to take that vacation day. I'm going to take that doom scrolling day and sit down. But suddenly those things stop working because it's no longer impacting our nervous systems. A pattern many of us see over and over is that we rest our bodies, but we don't stop the mental load.
Why does my brain keep working even when I’m physically resting?
Even when you're resting, your brain is still tracking, remembering, anticipating, worrying, thinking.
You're holding everything together behind the scenes.
You might be laying on the couch relaxing, but your brain is still working overtime.
We don't even realize how much we're carrying until we stop. This is very much likened to getting that late diagnosis and then getting on to medication for the first time. We aren't told when we get that medication that we need to make sure that we are slowing down. So what we actually do is we do all the things that we've been wanting to do and then some. Our brains are going and they are on point and it feels great. But our bodies start to slowly deteriorate around that. This is just part of that pattern. It's part of entering into what is actual ADHD or autistic burnout, which is much, much different than what we think of as a few days rest and getting some electrolytes in our system for a regular neurotypical burnout.
Yeah. I was like, can I add to that? I don't think I can add to it. That was perfect. This kind of burnout, it usually comes from so much invisible effort.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is ADHD burnout and why doesn’t rest make you feel better?
0:02–2:56
2
Why does my brain keep working even when I’m physically resting?
2:56–5:46
3
How does nervous‑system overload create chronic exhaustion for neurodivergent women?
5:46–8:41
4
Can ADHD burnout happen more than once and what does that look like?
8:41–10:55
5
How can I start putting myself first to stop the burnout cycle?
10:55–13:41
6
What practical tools activate the ‘rest‑and‑digest’ response for ADHD women?
13:41–16:13
7
Where can I find community, books, and other resources for ADHD burnout?
16:13–18:22
8
What are the key take‑aways to remember about ADHD burnout and recovery?
18:22–20:35
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S1 E46 ADHD Women & Borrowed Things | Why We Forget to Return Things
S1 E45 ADHD Women & Major Life Changes | Why Your Brain Needs Time to Catch Up
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