Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Kind Gesture from a Stranger
Fri, 23 May
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Dax and Monica talk to Armcherries! In today's episode, Armcherries tell us about a kind gesture they received from a stranger.Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting wondery.com/links/armchair-expert-with-dax-shepard/ now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What are kind gestures from strangers?
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad-free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard, and I'm joined in absentia by Monica Padman. Today's Armchair Anonymous is kind gestures from strangers.
And if that sounds too PG rated, I will assure you that there is a gift within these kind gestures in the form of an unauthorized evacuation. So it's going to deliver on all fronts. Please enjoy kind gestures from strangers.
At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again.
So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks, both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.
Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Hard times come and go Good times take them slow My life, I had them both But one thing you gotta know I'ma keep on shining
Is this Joanna?
It is Joanna. Hi.
Are you under a bunk bed?
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Chapter 2: What happened during Joanna's music career?
You're at like a desk situation?
Yes, a little coffee table. I made it homey.
How old is she?
She is four and a half going on 15. Cute.
What part of the country are you in?
I am in North Carolina, right outside of Asheville, actually. Really rural out here, but we love it.
Okay, please tell us about your kind gesture from a stranger.
This story takes place in Jacksonville, Florida, back in 2011, and I was about 19. I was a local musician at the time, and I was gigging at a restaurant downtown that I also waited tables at with my brother. And this guy comes up after the show and was like, hey, you guys were really awesome. I would love to come see you again. Can I have your schedule? Here's my business card.
He's really nice and kind of just left. And we're like, oh, cool. We love a fan. So a few weeks later, we're playing the show again. He comes up and he says, really liked your set. Can I take you to lunch? And we were like, maybe. Why?
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Chapter 3: What was the embarrassing incident at the proposal shoot?
So I got to walk out really victorious and I got to look at him and go, who's league am I in now? It was really exciting. And so after that, I worked at his office for a few more weeks. And then he told me that he was going on an extended trip to Colorado to see his daughter. And I never saw him again. Wait. He just disappeared off the face of the earth.
Richard did? He never returned to his practice?
I just looked him up and apparently he is now back in Jacksonville. But I looked back for him for about 10 years after that. And I never really found that he was back. He just disappeared. And I've reached out to him a few times and never heard anything from him. Is he okay? He's in Jacksonville now. So I'm hoping that he's okay now.
But your mind went to a great place, Monica, which is, is he okay? And my mind went to, uh-oh, he had to run from something. This is Jacksonville, Florida. So maybe he was representing some kind of a drug cartel situation and he had to make himself scarce. Maybe he's a witness protection now. Could be.
And then it expired and he moved back to Jackson? Yeah. Really quick, when he disappeared, how did you know to stop coming to work?
He said he was going to be on a trip in Colorado for a while. So we are just going to stop that for the time being. And he said, I'll let you know when I'm back. And then he just never came back.
I don't know why that reminds me of I worked at a fabrication place in high school when I was 15. My boss called me into his office and he said, hey, it's your birthday Friday, right? And I said, yeah. And he said, it's your birthday. Don't come in. And I go, oh, okay, great. And then he goes, yeah, and just call Monday and we'll see if we have any work. I was like, wait a minute.
He's like letting you go. He fired me under the guise of you can have your birthday off. Are you still playing music?
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Chapter 4: How did a kind stranger help in a messy situation?
Just for a hobby. I've got two kids now, so it's not really conducive to gig life. But I play music with my husband. I met him at the Middle School of the Arts in Jacksonville, and we got married and had babies. But my daughter is a musical prodigy. I know every parent says that, but she truly is. I believe it.
Well, Joanna, so nice to meet you. And that's a really great story. And it's positive and it never turned dark. I hate that I'm now this person. Oh, you're putting on the Dax hat? A little. I'm like, maybe he was on drugs and manic or something. He used his mania for good. It's a little on a tear. It's inconsistent for you.
I think he was just kind of lonely looking for a buddy.
But you do paint a good picture. Let's just say everything went sideways. I fucked up everything and I was divorced. I was loaded. I think I would hate myself. And if I could help a stranger, it might buy me little periods of feeling okay about myself.
Well, and then that's okay. That to me isn't fine. But if he was bipolar or something and then it was in his mania. Also, that's fine if he did. I came out ahead. It was still a very kind gesture regardless. I'm just delighted he never got pervy.
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Chapter 5: What lessons can we learn from unexpected kindness?
Me too. That's all we care about, really.
Me too. Dax, I do have to tell you, my husband will kill me if I don't, we watch Employee of the Month at least once a quarter around here. It's one of our very favorites. Q1, Q2. Once a quarter.
That makes me so happy. I never talk about that movie, but I really do think that's the most fun I've ever had playing a character. That's the only time I got to play just a straight prick.
And it was so fun.
No, this was more fun.
Wow. It makes us laugh. And I also have to say, I used to live out in an even more rural part of North Carolina where I didn't even have service to drive home. And so I would download your episodes and listen to you in my very windy drive. And so I think I've spent multiple thousands of hours of listening. And I love being a part of this community. I'm so thrilled.
Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. That's a kind gesture.
Yeah, yeah. Well, it's lovely meeting you. Thank you so much. Have a great day.
I'm kind of nervous about him.
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of random acts of kindness?
Pretty exciting. Well, I just am sad he dropped off the map. It is interesting. Do you think the kid had a disease? No, God. I'm just, something happened here.
I just took a lover. Well, how about this? He went to visit her. And as he already said, he's loaded. He's going to spend two weeks with her. And then he was like, I have the option to just be around my daughter. And maybe she had a family. And he just decided, I'm going to be present. And there's a grandkid in there. What am I going home to? More money? I know there's a grandkid.
Because he's visiting his daughter and the daughter has a baby. How do you know? I don't. I'm just saying that's a good scenario. Well, he was only like 48. He had a kid at 20. His daughter had a kid at 25. The child's three years old. Wow. All right. Maybe that is what happened. I hope so.
Yeah. I'm glad he was dad hot. Rob, do you think you're dad hot? You're way beyond dad hot, I'll just say. I don't even know what it means. I do. It means you're fine looking, but you're a dad, so you're trustworthy and you've got some brownie points. I think it actually means you were hot and you're aging nicely, but you're older.
I think it means you were a pass in high school, but now you've demonstrated that you're very responsible and competent, so that ups your attraction. People can weigh in on what they think the definition of dad hot is. Try to define dad hot for us. And then mom hot. Yeah. And then baby hot. And then tell us what hot baby looks like. Toddler hot is. Hot toddler. Hot toddy.
Hot toddy. Do you think that's what it stands for? Oh my God, that's disgusting.
Hi, how are you?
We are wonderful. What a glorious recording instrument you have.
Yeah, my husband is very musical, so we have lots of musical equipment around our house. So when he heard I was coming on the podcast, he was like, I've got you. We've got a blanket screwed onto the wall in our closet. We really workshopped it yesterday.
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