Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation III
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Padman.
It's your favorite day.
It's my favorite day. And I'm shocked there's always been three. We must be titling them different.
We're titling them different.
We must be. But this is Unauthorized Evacuation 3. Tell us about an unexpected evacuation. And they're always beautiful and endearing and life-affirming.
It's the thing that's going to bring us together.
Yeah, we can all relay or most of us. And if you can't relate yet, you will relate at some point in your life.
What unexpected events led to an unauthorized evacuation?
Please enjoy Unauthorized Evacuations.
Hello. Hi, Dax and Monica.
Kayla, are you from a long line of Kalas? Are you the first?
I'm the first, Kayla. My dad said he found it while sitting on the toilet in the baby book. So that's how I got my name.
Oh, wonderful. He was leafing through it.
The best ideas can come to you on the toilet.
Yeah. Also, I mean, pretty good dad. I don't know when you were born, but probably 90s. Were you born in the 90s?
Yeah, 96.
The fact that he's taking time to read a baby-naming book, not probably super typical.
How did stress impact the guest's health leading up to the evacuation?
Yeah, and I mean, on the toilet, maybe that's how we got to this story. Oh, yeah.
And if we make the opposite argument, you could also argue he only read it because he was stuck on the toilet and there was nothing else to read. No, but we're glass half full here. Where are you, Kayla?
I'm in Orange County.
And it happens even in sunny California, unauthorized evacs.
Sad, I don't like hearing that. Well, we know that's true. It's happened to both of us.
Personally, yeah.
Honestly, it wasn't my proudest at first, but, you know, since been telling to like break the ice at work and at parties and, you know, it's funny now. So that's great.
All right. Walk us through it. Tell us the year. What was happening?
So it was 2019. I was freshly in college. I honestly was like very, very stressed at the time. I was working a full time job at a makeup counter and then a part time job at this snow cone place. And then I was also going to school full time. Wow. I set that up to say I was very, very stressed. My GI wasn't exactly working.
So like periods of constipation, then Harness.
Exactly.
Yeah.
like six days and my now husband was actually telling me and he was like you know what like i had to get an enema one time you can't let this go any longer yes six days oh yeah i was like okay i'll go to the doctor so i went to the doctor and she was like you're fine probably just a bit of constipation you've had a lot of stress in your life like you're fine she's like i'll give you something you
You probably never had a long enough window to sit down and relax to let things start moving. You were racing from one thing to another.
Yeah, my diet wasn't great. It was probably a bunch of things. So like I was like, OK, cool. Well, fast track it. Go to the doctor. Get something for me. Great. Next day, go to pick it up at the pharmacy. I am late for work because I'm always late everywhere. I go to the pharmacy to go pick it up and they do a consultation with you when you haven't taken the medication before. But I decided that that was the day I was going to tell a little white lie and say, oh, no, I've taken this before. Like, I'm good. Thank you. So left and then went to my job at the makeup counter. So. It was a Saturday, super, super busy. I popped the pill. You know, I'm just going about my day.
Real quick, is this home store in a mall?
So, no, it's actually like in a shopping center. I'm not ashamed to say it was an Ulta in a shopping center. Oh, got it. That's where I used to work. Oh, great.
Do you know that, Monica? Oh, yeah. Trusted brand.
Yeah, yeah. It was super, super busy. I could not even leave the counter for a second just because there were so many people. And so I started to feel like a grumbling in my stomach. And I was like... oh gosh well i don't have any time to go to the bathroom i usually crop dust the back of the store you know just kind of like take a little walk sure but i couldn't i was helping too many people color matching doing all of that to get my commission and so i felt the rumbling felt the rumbling and i was like okay i know this feeling like it's just a fart i haven't even farted in six days this is totally fine like i'll be okay what were you wearing can i ask quickly
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:32
2
What unexpected events led to an unauthorized evacuation?
0:32–1:27
3
How did stress impact the guest's health leading up to the evacuation?
1:27–4:42
4
What humorous incidents occurred during the evacuation?
4:42–5:42
5
What challenges did the guest face while working at a busy store?
5:42–6:51
6
How did the guest's situation escalate in the store?
6:51–14:16
7
What embarrassing aftermath followed the evacuation incident?
14:16–24:45
8
How does the guest reflect on the experience years later?
24:45–53:25