Chapter 1: What events are happening in San Diego and St. Charles?
Hey, bad friends. I am going to be in San Diego, Bobby's hometown, on June 28th at The Sound in Del Mar, North County. Come on out, dude. Take a break from the water and the sun, San Diego. Come see me at The Sound, June 28th. Two shows, early show and a late show, June 28th. Then July 24th, I'm going to be in St. Charles, Missouri. basically St. Louis, right next door.
Next door neighbors, come out and see me at the Ameristar Casino, St. Charles, St. Louis, Missouri. That's July 24th. June 28th in San Diego. Come out and see me. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets.
andrewsantino.com You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.
Peaty, peaty, peaty, peaty, peaty. Peaty, peaty, peaty, peaty, peaty, peaty. Peat, peat, peat, peat, peat. Average white. Peat, peat, peat, peat, peat. Average white. Peat, peat, peat, peat, peat.
Normal white guy. Normal white guy. Normal white guy.
Peat.
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Chapter 2: Who are the main characters in this podcast episode?
All right?
Yeah, I like it. Yeah, you like it?
Look who's back. You're still buying beef at the store? Oh, beef guy. 20% up. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're eating the beef, huh?
I'm eating the beef.
Yeah, what else? What about gas?
Gas, the lowest grade gas.
You get the low grade? Yeah. I get Supreme. Anyway.
That's gas with tomatoes and sour cream.
Exactly. They're working. It's like a baked potato. Yeah. Have you gotten coloscopy?
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Chapter 3: What experiences did Bobby and Carlos have at Coachella?
Yeah, not really. Because he can turn on a dime. That's right. And his allegiance is, I don't know who his allegiance is too. He is such a fence sitter. We don't know where. We don't know where he is, dude. Yeah, yeah. He's sort of like Pakistan. Right. Right. Who are you with?
Oh, we're going to negotiate.
We're doing the negotiations. Right, yeah, but what? What's really going on here? Pakistan is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so we... He really hooked us up, this guy Cole. He's such a nice guy. I hugged him a thousand times. I was so grateful that, you know what I mean, we were able to go. Who's the gentleman you're referring to? Cole. He's the director. He's the director of the whole festival.
Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really cool guy.
Chapter 4: How do they describe their interactions with women at the casino?
He looked after us, and the only show I saw, I saw two shows.
No, you saw three. You were miserable at one.
I barely saw one. Who was the third? I say two. Sabrina Carpenter. Let me tell you about Sabrina Carpenter. Fill me in. Okay, I will. She's a good performer. Pretty. She gave it her all. I had rather been in an ICE detention center. I'd rather been in a Japanese internment camp. It was pure painful until... That's me. Until Grandma Donna came out.
And when Grandma Donna came out, I was so excited. Grandma Madonna? Grandma Donna. Madonna came out, but the grand version.
Oh, yeah.
Old Madonna. Yeah. Grandma Madonna. Yeah, Grandma Madonna. Yeah, Grandmama Madonna. Yeah, Grandmama Madonna. Grandmama Madonna. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she did Vogue. You know what I mean? Come on. Vogue. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let your body move.
Yeah. Strike a pose. And when she struck a pose, she had her fucking walking. Her walker? Yeah, her walker. It was incredible. Strike a pose. You know what I mean? And she was doing that, right? She was doing a lot of leaning against, you know what I mean, objects.
I heard Madonna's tour bus pulled up into the handicapped parking spot.
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Chapter 5: What humorous scenarios do they discuss about being a Navy SEAL?
Yes. You mean, you like danger.
Yeah.
You like danger. You're like living on the edge, even at your age. Aerosmith. Yeah, yeah. And you like the mystery of it all.
Yeah.
Like the chase.
Yeah. Yeah, I've like run from the cops three times.
Yeah, you told me about the motorcycle thing and stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
but but so now you think you've got it at a place where if you get if you pay for a friend yeah if we're gonna say this eloquently you think you're safe from any sort of oh i know i am because i'm like a member of certain things where it's all verified what do you mean you're in a private club oh yeah well yeah i'm gonna tell you this right now what i want to know how much you pay to be in the private yeah yeah oh i got in early
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Chapter 6: How do they joke about their roles in the kingdom?
Because he's filming. He has an all access A band. This is where the king fucked up. All right. What band do I have?
Chapter 7: What are the expectations of the jester in the king's court?
GA. General admission. You're gen admission? General admission for sure. I gave you VIP for Coachella. What do I have? What do I have? What band am I at? Your art is fast, for sure. Oh, I get art is fast. So I'm not all access, but I just get- Yours says AF, Air Force. Air Force, Air Force access. Yeah. And can I tell you something? Listen, this is where he fucked up.
Because the King already laid out the rules. McCone, you know damn well- Oh no. Is gonna eventually sneak down to the Jester's cave because of his crush on you and break you free. You know he's gonna go behind Carlos' back.
Will not. You know what'll happen? In that opening, I'll just see a camera. He'd be filming you? He'd be just filming me. It's great content. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's not going to help with shit. I disagree. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I right, though? You would try to break him out, wouldn't you, you little fucker?
No, I'd film for a bit, but then when he was doing the same things, we did something new for the video, so we'll break him out.
And Pete, where's Pete in this whole thing? Yeah, Pete is not around a lot. No, we have a royal podcast every week. Ah, and I like that. It's the only one available. And he stays in the podcast space. Yeah, he's a producer. But he's not allowed to leave the podcast room. He doesn't want to. I'm a good podcaster. Can I be in the podcast? Of course, you're the fool.
My Air Force sergeant is telling me. No, no, that's a threat to security, sir. It is? We can't have that, the king.
Okay. All right, and then what does Andres have?
Andres. Well, this is interesting. What does the king do with Andres? Yeah. Head of fashion in our country. He designs the uniforms for the military. The least fashionable guy on this show is the head of fashion? That's the funniest thing I've ever said. That's insane.
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Chapter 8: How does the conversation shift towards hotel experiences and tips?
That is Mary Evans. That's amazing.
What does Jules get? Rudy.
Oh, that's interesting. She's like an RCIA.
Oh, she gets a higher position as well.
Zero dark 30.
Zero dark 30. Waterboarding. She is our assassin. Right, right, right.
She's our secret assassin.
Secret assassin. Knives, waterboarding.
I'm gonna work closely with her on using her to infiltrate other kingdoms to try to make yours more expensive.
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