Lorna Luxe: Life After Losing John
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The days leading up to John's death, he was really worried I was going to be in the s*** when he died.
How is Lorna coping in the weeks after John’s death?
What a glorious man. That his last thoughts were about the woman he loved. Everybody knows you as Lorna Lux online and collectively we loved your love.
It felt really important that he feel seen when I first met him. I just remember thinking, why is this old bloke talking to me?
When does loneliness hit Lorna and how does she manage it?
We just clicked.
Falling in love with someone is a double-edged sword because it's absolutely incredible, but it's also terrifying.
How did Lorna learn to be resilient and independent after John’s illness?
Would you divorce John?
When I got my virgin job, I became incredibly unwell. And I've worked really hard to be skinny. But John knew that I just needed to find other things to feel obsessive about.
How did Lorna’s childhood and her dad leaving shape her fear of rejection?
And that's how I got into Instagram. But that's when really gets real because you're all subject to the same fear, right? Which is your own mortality. Yes. My one thing that was solid in my life has been whipped out of me. And I had no control over that. When John was diagnosed with cancer, he said, I feel invisible.
What role did Lorna’s eating disorder and her Virgin Atlantic career play in her life?
And that's why he's front and centre of a lot of the things that I do, because I don't want people to forget him. Before he died, John talked to you a little bit about you meeting someone else. Everyone has a great love. I'd be more than happy if that's me, one and done. Quite happy with that.
Welcome. This is it. Thank you. This is Begin Again, the studios. I love it. It looks even better in real life. And it's funny calling you Lorna Andrews, because to me, you're Lorna Lux, like everybody knows you as that online. I wanted to quickly start off by just asking you how you are.
How did Lorna discover Instagram and build a creative career online?
Thank you. You've been through a lot.
I mean, what a shitter of a year.
How did Lorna and John meet, fall in love, and maintain a strong marriage?
I'm all right. I'd say that I'm like up and down. So I wouldn't say I was like, oh, I'm great or I'm absolutely this is the worst thing at the minute and I can't get out of bed. I just each day is like, we'll see what happens today. Let's not overthink it. And I think I have moments, usually about five, 10 minutes where I feel incredibly low. But then I'm, right, I've got to get back on the next thing now or something snaps me out of it. And I just distract myself.
I think we collectively or anybody that's followed you feel for you so much because we loved your love.
Yeah. And it was so important in the last year, I would say, for me to really show that. Especially, I think when John was diagnosed with cancer, he immediately fell. He said it to himself. He said, I feel invisible. I feel less than like I'm not bringing enough to the table because he'd always been my protector and had always looked after me and taking care of me and the roles kind of reversed. And I think that last year where I could really see him becoming more and more well and I could predict what the outcome was going to be, it felt really important that he feel seen and very visible. And I posted a lot more, not always him directly, but referenced him in things or we're doing this, we, we, we, we, we.
Because I knew that was really good for him. And I think he knew what I was doing as well. We're a team, right? That's what you do.
I might cry in this interview and I'm really sorry because... You won't get me either. You can't set me off. No, I know, but you're the person that's lost somebody. And I'm embarrassed to cry in front of you. Don't be daft. Yeah, but... Feels inappropriate in some way. I'm sorry about that.
I think that there's two types of people I meet, right? And there are those that do really empathise with me in a way and do do that and cry with me or sometimes instead of me. Yeah. And then there are other people that literally ignore it. I mean, they don't even mention it. Yeah, can't work, can't talk about it. And I understand it on both sides, right? Because sometimes my coping mechanism is to ignore something if it's upsetting.
Yeah.
But there's something really special about the connections I've made over the last few months from people who've experienced loss or haven't, but completely get it and completely get that this is really shit. And there's not really anything you can say, is there, to that?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:04
2
How is Lorna coping in the weeks after John’s death?
0:04–0:22
3
When does loneliness hit Lorna and how does she manage it?
0:22–0:31
4
How did Lorna learn to be resilient and independent after John’s illness?
0:31–0:42
5
How did Lorna’s childhood and her dad leaving shape her fear of rejection?
0:42–1:00
6
What role did Lorna’s eating disorder and her Virgin Atlantic career play in her life?
1:00–1:33
7
How did Lorna discover Instagram and build a creative career online?
1:33–1:37
8
How did Lorna and John meet, fall in love, and maintain a strong marriage?
1:37–1:08:48
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Begin Again with Davina McCall
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Liz Houghton: Losing My 20-Year-Old Son & How To Keep Living When Your World Ends
Begin Again Moments: Hitting Rock Bottom And What Comes Next
Caitlin Moran: “I Thought My Brain Had Broken” Becoming Hopeful After A Life Of Anxiety
Begin Again Moments: What Makes a Successful Marriage?
Gary Lineker: The Private Battles Behind a Public Life