# 663 - Felipe Esparza’s Brother Stole His Identity

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What was the experience of the recent 5K event?

Bert Kreischer 0:00
Last year, so many of you joined us for the 5K, and it was the most amazing experience in person and virtually. It was so much fun that we are bringing it back. This time, it's in Tampa.
Unknown 0:10
May 4th, we are bringing the whole crew back, including Jelly Roll. Me, Tom, Jelly Roll. Listen. If you don't think you can do it, Tommy, tell them they can do it. You can do it.
Bert Kreischer 0:20
We can do it. We did it. Look at us. It's not that crazy. You can do it. You just have to try a little bit. Go to 2bears5k.com to register. And thank you to Spartan for helping us produce and put this on. And everybody at YMH and Birdie Boy. We are so excited. We will see you May 4th in Tampa for the next 2 Bears 5K.
Unknown 0:40
And I can't wait for Baker Mayfield to verbally commit.
Bert Kreischer 0:43
He's coming?
Unknown 0:44
He's definitely coming.
Bert Kreischer 0:46
Great ass on that guy.
Unknown 0:47
What's up, everybody? I've got some shows coming up in Vegas in March, 21st and 22nd at Resorts World Theater and O Canada. I'm coming to you. Winnipeg, Halifax, Calgary, and Vancouver. It's me, Whitney Cummings, Miss Pat, and Derek Stroop. Go to purrpurrpurr.com for all of them.
Host 1:01
You're going to be going home and pulling over to the side and going, fuck, I think that bitch just sexually assaulted me. I want her to be my mom.
Unknown 1:20
What song is this? This should be a game show. Did you see the clip of him and Bill Burr, brothers? That's fucking wild. Wow. It's got to be a work. It's got to be a fucking... It's like Corey Holcomb's bit. What?
Host 1:46
I got two nine-year-olds and they ain't twins. I feel like a fat John Mayer up here. John Mayer? John Mayer. Juan Mayor. Juan Mayer. Faces. Here you go.
Unknown 2:09
Oh, thank you, man. Hey, congrats on your special. It's fucking awesome. Raging Fool, February 11th. Dude, it is so fucking good. It is so fucking good. You're such a fucking talented comic. Do you realize or do you just go, I do what I do?
Host 2:24
I love comedy, bro. I love stand-up comedy. Like, I like doing stand-up and do it an hour and then the next day, bro, like... getting annihilated and walking around a strange town or a city. Yeah. And then listening to the whole set, bro, by myself, walking around. So you listen to all your sets? Yeah. Do you really? Yeah. I listen to it like two times, three times. And then, like, I start coming up with tags while I'm walking. The problem is I don't write the tags. That's a... That's why Paul Rodriguez said, man, you're quick with a joke, slow with a pen.
Unknown 2:55
Oh, man.
Host 3:02
One day, we'll get out of this shitty apartment. One day, all it takes. That's not my song. That's a singer named Miko. Japanese. Japanese Georgian girl. Really? Yeah, Miko. She's half Japanese and half Southern from the South.
Unknown 3:25
Really? Does she have a Japanese Southern accent? I have no idea. How rogue. I want some Ravs to crawl.
Host 3:38
Yeah. That'd be funny, man.
Unknown 3:43
She's making a hog maw egg rolls. It's today's Lunar New Year's. It's Chinese New Year's. What year?
Host 3:51
Year of the Snake. You know what's funny, man? I went to go get some bud from a guy that I usually get it from.
Unknown 4:00
Yeah.
Host 4:00
And he was telling me about the strip bars in Tijuana. Because I wanted to retell me another story he told me because a lot of the people who, like, go to Tijuana, they go to, like, different places. Like, they have dog racing still and horse racing, gambling. We have dog racing still, don't we? Yeah, only in Florida.
Unknown 4:19
Oh, yeah. That's where I saw it. Greyhound racing.
Host 4:21
Over here, man, it's just like two homeless people in Skid Row, man. One dog going this way, one dog going the other way. Dog fight is probably still going down. I got invited to a dog fight by the promoter of a comedy show one time in Midland, Texas. Really? Did you go? Hell no. I got jumped off the truck when I realized it was for dog fighting.
Unknown 4:43
He had you in the car?
Bert Kreischer 4:57
It wasn't Do the Right Thing.
Host 4:59
I don't know, man. They get, somebody gets shot. Black dude gets killed, bro. Oh, uh, Boys in the Hood. Boys in the Hood.
Unknown 5:05
Yeah, let me out.
Host 5:06
Yeah. Let me, let me out, Trey. So, Ohio Force, bro. Let me out, man. I got to get ready for my show. Back then, I didn't even smoke weed, bro. Really? I didn't smoke weed. I didn't drink or nothing, bro. I thought it was like a big door. I was like, oh, what you got to get in trouble?

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Chapters

2 chapters
1 What was the experience of the recent 5K event? 0:00–1:12:54 2 What happened when Felipe's brother stole his identity? 0:00–1:12:54

Speakers

3 identified
Host 41 min Unknown 27 min Bert Kreischer 1 min

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