Chapter 1: What quirky news stories are featured in this episode?
Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro.
We were in the car, like a rolling stone came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother. And I said, what? What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have. I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened.
These are just a few of the moving and important stories on my 13th season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
What are the cycles fathers pass down that sons are left to heal? What if being a man wasn't about holding it all together but learning how to let go? This is a space where men speak truth and find the power to heal and transform. I'm Mike Della Rocha. Welcome to Sacred Lessons. Listen to Sacred Lessons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab here. It's the season of giving, and this year my podcast, the Happiness Lab, is partnering with GiveDirectly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need as part of the Pods Fight Poverty campaign. Our goal this year is to raise $1 million, which will bring over 700 families out of extreme poverty.
Your donation will put cash directly in the hands of these families in need. And they'll get to decide how to use it, whether that's school transportation, purchasing livestock, or starting a business. Plus, if you're a first-time donor, your gift will be matched by giving multiplier, which means more money for those in need. Visit givedirectly.org slash happiness lab to learn more and to donate.
That's givedirectly.org slash happiness lab.
the show was ahead of its time to represent a Black family in ways the television hadn't shown before. Exactly. It's Telma Hopkins, also known as Aunt Rachel. And I'm Kelly Williams, or Laura Winslow. On our podcast, Welcome to the Family with Telma and Kelly, we're re-watching every episode of Family Matters. We'll share behind-the-scenes stories about making the show.
Yeah, we'll even bring in some special guests to spill some tea. Listen to Welcome to the Family with Telma and Kelly on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Chapter 2: How does humor play a role in discussing weird news?
Gwyn tapped out after a chip and a half. Oh, she got full? That was her lunch and dinner.
I see.
For the entire week. So rattle on with Victorious Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser and those other goopy droopies just don't. This first laser story is out of Lubbock. Three cops on horseback were riding around recently when they saw a guy walking down the street instead of on the sidewalk.
He seemed suspicious, so they went up and talked to him. They thought he might have drugs, so they asked to search his pockets, and he said no. And then one of the cops joked that the horse he was on was a drug-sniffing horse. So you better be honest with us. Dude, I would have obviously already laughed. I would have lost it. You are a funny cop. Oh, you wouldn't have fallen for it?
No, obviously he's kidding. A horse sniffing?
I don't know. He's asking to search you.
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Chapter 3: What unusual police incident occurred in Lubbock?
I don't know how jokey he is.
Why do you guys believe this? Well, the guy immediately took off running. Wow, he obviously did too. There's body cam footage of the whole thing, and the deputies thought the guy fleeing was also a joke. Oh, yeah, that would be a funny joke where he's like, uh-oh. But then he didn't stop, so they had to pursue.
The guy took off down an alley, but remember, they're on horseback, so they immediately caught up to him. Yeah. And now 42-year-old Joseph Ramirez is facing charges for evading arrest and tampering with physical evidence.
Oh, did he throw something out of his pocket all the way?
It's not clear if that evidence was drugs or not, but some people are assuming.
Oh, wow.
I also assumed.
Pretty big assumption to make, you guys, just because he ran from the cops. Yeah.
Let's give the guy a little bit of a break.
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Chapter 4: What happened when a Netflix username was changed?
Oh, God.
And instead of working it out, he challenged them both to a fight. 2v1. Yeah, who's the fun guy in that friend group? Yeah, why doesn't he just kick them off the account? Then they're not going to learn their lesson. All right. So a few hours later, the three all met up at a local park and went at it with each other. Over a Netflix name. Yeah. It's a serious business, Brooke.
Meet you on board with this. According to the police report, it sounds like Scooter took quite a beating. Well, it's two against one, man. But Brian did, too. His face is all banged up in his mugshot photo, and he's in a neck brace.
Wow.
He's going to need some time to watch some Netflix then. I hope he didn't get booted. He and Anthony are now both facing charges for aggravated assault. Meanwhile, Scooter is recovering in the hospital. And may I remind you, it all happened because a Netflix username changed. Wow. Wow. Yikes. I feel like we need to find more healthy ways to get out our anger. Knife fight. Good idea, Brooke.
You take Cocomelon away from them. This next laser story is out of fast food fantasy land. McDonald's just announced that they're bringing back their Monopoly game next week for the first time in a decade.
Calm down. Is it bad I didn't realize it left?
I didn't even know they had one. Oh, my goodness. After I watched the documentary, I'm like, I'm never going to play the Monopoly game again.
You know where you get all the board pieces on your cup or your french fries?
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Chapter 5: What are the odds of winning McDonald's Monopoly prizes?
I'm like, dude, I know my buddy Eric has Marvin Gardens. If we join forces, mom, we're going to be a millionaire. I just have to negotiate. But who's got the railroad? Yeah, that's always the railroad. A lot of hope in the game. Anyway, McDonald's has the approximate odds of winning various prizes buried deep down in their official rules. Yeah, what's the odds? And they're pretty hilarious.
Oh, no. So here's a few. A free small fry, 1 in 25. Yeah, I was going to say, those are the only things that I ever won from that game. That's not too bad. That's still 1 in 25 people. But who's going back and just getting the free small fry? It's all a gimmick. You're going to buy a burger with it. A Chicken McNugget, 1 in 98. Oh, they can't give out more than that. It's not very good odds.
And then this is where things begin to get absolutely crazy. An Audio-Technica turntable bundle worth $500. A record player. Chances to win are 1 in 59 million. Double rainbow. Oh, my God. The amount you're spending to get that many Monopoly things, just go buy the record player. That's like $100 for a record player. Okay, that one's rough, but how about a 77-inch Samsung TV from Best Buy?
Okay, now we're talking. Samsung's a great brand, too. That'll be one in 153 million.
Yeah!
You literally have the same odds as winning $100 million in the Powerball. I thought radio promotions were bad. Our odds are so much better than this. Yeah, we're like, call her 25. A $10,000 Lowe's shopping spree. Your chances are 1 in 2.6 billion.
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Chapter 6: What bizarre prizes are included in the McDonald's game?
Oh, my God. With a B, that's even worse now than lottery. Did they even say how much money you get at that shopping spree? $10,000. Oh, I didn't hear that part. There's so many numbers. A $10,000 Lowe's shopping spree. There's a lot of numbers. And it gets worse. 1 in 3 billion will win a VIP trip for four to the Kennedy Space Center.
And 1 in 4 billion will win a trip for four to Universal Orlando. Those are the prices? I thought we were winning a house or an actual railroad. Or a million dollars. Even a top hat, man. Something from the game. Let's get crazier. $1.6 billion wins a 2026 Winnebago RV motorhome. You're going to want to sell after one season of trying to pump the sewer out of it. Maintenance on those are awful.
$1.11 billion take home a Polaris ATV. Wow. Keep in mind, there's only 8 billion people on the planet, and the odds are 1 in 11 billion people. Why are there so many random prizes? It's so all over the board. Pick a theme. I like some of these prizes. Some of these are kind of cool. An ATV? A Winnebago? This is like a price is right dream.
Yeah, it is a price is right.
One in 13 billion get a 2026 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Okay. And finally, any guesses for this? An all expense paid vacation for four to Paris. Quadrillion. A quadrillion of a quadrillion. I feel like it's only a two night stay. I'm going to go one in 76 billion.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts react to outrageous news stories?
I can't even do the math right anymore. I'm out of numbers. Yeah. Price is right. Rules go to Brooke. The answer, one in 60 billion. I should have gone with a dollar. So good luck playing. Hope you get that small fry. Speaking of small fries. Aw, he's a little small fry. He is. He's a little warm and salty.
And he's hiding in the bottom of your McDonald's bag that you just picked up at the drive-thru. Just let him live with you. He's a good time. That's how Means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day. We'll do it again same time on Friday.
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
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Hi, I'm Dani Shapiro.
We were in the car, like a Rolling Stone came on, and he said, there's a line in there about your mother. And I said, what? What I would do if I didn't feel like I was being accepted is choose an identity that other people can't have. I knew something had happened to me in the middle of the night, but I couldn't hold on to what had happened.
These are just a few of the moving and important stories on my 13th season of Family Secrets.
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Chapter 8: What are the final thoughts on the weirdness of these stories?
Listen to Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
What are the cycles fathers pass down that sons are left to heal? What if being a man wasn't about holding it all together but learning how to let go? This is a space where men speak truth and find the power to heal and transform. I'm Mike Della Rocha. Welcome to Sacred Lessons. Listen to Sacred Lessons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab here. It's the season of giving, and this year my podcast, the Happiness Lab, is partnering with GiveDirectly, a nonprofit that provides people in extreme poverty with the cash they need as part of the Pods Fight Poverty campaign. Our goal this year is to raise $1 million, which will bring over 700 families out of extreme poverty.
Your donation will put cash directly in the hands of these families in need, and they'll get to decide how to use it, whether that's school transportation, purchasing livestock, or starting a business. Plus, if you're a first-time donor, your gift will be matched by giving multiplier, which means more money for those in need. Visit givedirectly.org slash happiness lab to learn more and to donate.
That's givedirectly.org slash happiness lab.
The social media trend that's landing some Gen Zers in jail. The progressive media darling whose public meltdown got her fired. And the massive TikTok boycott against Target that actually makes no sense.
You won't hear about these online stories in the mainstream media, but you can keep up with them and all the other entertaining and outrageous things happening online, in media, and in politics with the Brad vs. Everyone podcast. Listen to the Brad vs. Everyone podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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