Loser Line (9/28/26)
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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How does the Loser Line turn unwanted phone numbers into awkward voicemails?
Hey girl. What's up with you? Wait
a
minute, is this the right
number? It's the loser line. Come on, just call me back.
If you haven't heard the loser line before, it works like this. Let's say some nerd approaches you at the science fair and tries this charming pickup line on you.
Excuse me. If I'm Coca-Cola, you must be Mentos. Because you're making me feel all bubbly inside. Oh my gosh. Whatever
whatever you do, don't see how many volts that potato battery can send through his braces. Instead, point to his baking soda volcano and whisper, I think you can make two things erupt tonight. And that's when you give him the number to the loser line, so hopefully he leaves an awkward voicemail that we can play over the air. Voicemails like this one.
I
Why is a bar pickup artist calling about a goldfish he left in an Uber?
It's me from the bar Saturday. So Um, a little awkward, but I think I have your goldfish. And don't worry. He's right. I found a Ziploc bag in the back of the seat of the Uber we were in and said you were responsible for him. tonight, so I thought it was a joke at the time, but apparently not. Anyway, I have been taking good care of him, but we have a problem. Our other goldfish. is jealous. And he's looking at your gold Chris like he's a snack. He wants to eat 'em. So yeah. Next method. Oh,
Okay. So
so if I'm understanding this correctly, some guy brought a goldfish out to the bars with him.
Did a man really bring a goldfish to the bar to meet women?
Yes. Most likely to pick up ladies.
Is that the point of it? I how do you know?
He's so cute. Can I hold him? Can I feed him like a dog?
I don't think it's the same. Is he the one giving out the loser life?
Imagine getting a little vest on it as your emotional support goldfish.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–2:33
2
How does the Loser Line turn unwanted phone numbers into awkward voicemails?
2:33–3:22
3
Why is a bar pickup artist calling about a goldfish he left in an Uber?
3:22–4:20
4
Did a man really bring a goldfish to the bar to meet women?
4:20–4:54
5
Why did this caller buy a woman a candle that smells like her?
4:54–5:52
6
How does the scented-candle caller make his awkward date invitation even creepier?
5:52–6:57
7
Why does a man need a stranger to pretend to be his girlfriend at his boss’s wedding?
6:57–8:20
8
How did a traffic cone end up as a bar pickup story and living-room decoration?
8:20–12:14