Phone Tap: Hate A Date

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Brooke and Jeffrey 11 min 10 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:00
Hey, Portlandia fans.
Carrie Brownstein 0:01
Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here.
Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:03
The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.
Carrie Brownstein 0:06
We're launching Podlandia AO Rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together, breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made.
Fred Armisen (ad/clip) - Not a show guest 0:18
And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Kreisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more.
Carrie Brownstein 0:30
Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised not just words, but a song, a melody.
Kyle MacLachlan 0:35
Well, I thought you were all going to write a song.
Carrie Brownstein 0:37
I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia, AO Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Brooke (host) 0:47
What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam Jay. And we're the hosts of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from Together and iHeart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka showing out. Shout-outs to you, Naomi. The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashawn Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift. And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to Everyone Watches Women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Chelsea Handler 1:17
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Every week, the news gets worse, the world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem.
Sam Jay 1:27
Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika and I'm out. Listen to You're the Problem with Yamanika on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Nick Turturro 1:47
I'm Nick Turturro. You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman. And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest. I've shared a slice with everyone from Seth Rollins. What are you doing with my belt? To Bill Burr. I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am. And now we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro. It's called Happiness. Delivering Happiness. And many, many more. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now.
Jake Brennan 2:22
I'm Jake Brennan, and on my podcast, Disgraceland, I tell the stories behind music's biggest names. Like how the story of the Foo Fighters isn't just about music. It's about grief, shock, and the moment everything changed. Imagine that. You're in the biggest band on the planet, as Dave Grohl was in 1994 in Nirvana. And the phone rings, and you learn that your singer, your friend, the reluctant voice of a generation, Kurt Cobain, is dead. Listen to Disgraceland on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Jonas Brothers 2:57
It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, and we do a lot of second dates on this show.
Lisa West 3:01
Oh my gosh, so many.
Jonas Brothers 3:02
Which is why I know from our listeners, it really does suck when you get ghosted without any reason or explanation for it. For sure. Nobody should feel left out in the dark like that. And that's why we've created a brand new dating service.
Chelsea Handler 3:15
Oh, no.
Jonas Brothers 3:15
That could end up replacing our second date segment entirely.
Chelsea Handler 3:20
Oh, I'm sure, Jeff.
Jonas Brothers 3:21
Do not be surprised if I call you in your phone tap right now.
Lisa West 3:25
Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.
Jonas Brothers 3:29
Hello? Hi, is this Lisa West?
Lisa West 3:34
Yeah, this is. Who is this?
Jonas Brothers 3:36
This is Tom from Hey to Date.
Lisa West 3:39
I'm sorry, what?
Jonas Brothers 3:40
My name is Tom. I'm calling from the service Haytodate. You've probably seen our ads on Tubi.
Lisa West 3:47
No. What is that? I've never heard of that.
Jonas Brothers 3:49
Oh, Tubi? It's a great streaming service.
Lisa West 3:53
No, whatever you said before that.
Jonas Brothers 3:55
Oh, the company I work for, Haytodate?
Lisa West 3:58
Yeah, what is that?
Jonas Brothers 3:59
I'm surprised you haven't heard of it.

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