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Brooke and Jeffrey

Phone Tap: Stoner Max Postal Toaster

25 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the premise of today's Phone Tap?

0.892 - 17.436 Jonas Brothers

Hey guys, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.

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17.737 - 27.191 Jonas Brothers

Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but you know. Tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Chapter 2: Why does the victim have a short fuse?

27.211 - 28.873 Jonas Brothers

Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

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29.41 - 50.887 Jose

Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy. Not quite. On Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guests, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes.

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51.007 - 60.058 Jose

Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and friends on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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60.078 - 68.548 Rene Stubbs

Winning on clay is an art. The rallies are relentless. And at the French Open, only the toughest survive. I'd know. I competed there for decades.

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Chapter 3: Who is Stoner Max and how does he fit into the prank?

68.568 - 85.979 Rene Stubbs

Join me, Rene Stubbs, on the Rene Stubbs Tennis Podcast for no-nonsense breakdowns of the biggest matches, the toughest players, and the moments that define Roland Garros. She's an outsider to win the Frenchman. And she likes clay. Listen, Lena Rybakina is arguably the best player in the world right now and actually can win on any surface.

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86.439 - 92.472 Rene Stubbs

Listen to the Renee Stubbs Tennis Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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92.492 - 96.34 Brooke

Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.

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96.758 - 120.104 Unknown

Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth.

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120.124 - 125.23 Unknown

Listen to Superhuman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

126.458 - 127.399 Keir Gaines

Hey, what's good, y'all?

Chapter 4: How does the conversation about the missing package unfold?

127.48 - 146.468 Keir Gaines

You're listening to Learn the Hard Way with your favorite therapist and host, Keir Gaines. This space is about Black men's experiences, having honest conversations that it's really not safe to have anywhere, but you're having them with a licensed professional who knows what he's doing. How many men carry a suit of armor? It signals to the world that you're not to be played with.

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146.488 - 156.964 Keir Gaines

And just because you have the capability, that does not mean that you need to. Listen to Learn the Hard Way on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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157.345 - 168.861 Jose

Today we call a woman who admits she has a short fuse. And she's told her husband on multiple occasions that she hates dealing with stupid people. Oh, God.

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168.881 - 172.406 Jeffrey

Don't we all, right, Brooke? Is she listening to the show?

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172.486 - 184.022 Jose

When she recently found out a business had lost her package, she was immediately upset about it. And, of course, the best person to help her is the opposite of a stupid person. It's Stoner Maxx.

Chapter 5: What unexpected twists occur during the phone call?

184.88 - 189.487 Jose

He's not dumb. He's just medicinally enhanced.

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189.647 - 189.927 Brooke

I see.

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189.947 - 193.232 Jose

So this should definitely go well in your phone tap right now.

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193.793 - 198.379 Brooke

Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. Hello?

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198.419 - 200.342 Jose

Hello?

201.984 - 202.345 Unknown

Who's this?

204.027 - 217.324 Jose

Hello, who's this? Wait, oh, my name is Max. I'm calling you because you were in here earlier complaining about like a missing package or.

217.344 - 219.629 Unknown

Yeah, that was me. Did you find it?

219.649 - 224.758 Jose

Not exactly, but maybe you could tell me about it.

Chapter 6: How does the victim react to the prank's absurdity?

227.325 - 233.475 Unknown

I did not send the package. I already spoke to your supervisor a few hours ago about this. He already knows.

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233.495 - 250.881 Jose

Right. But he put me in charge of finding it because I came in hungover. What? I came in late today. Oh, my God. Hey, can you describe it for me?

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251.859 - 252.559 Jose

The package?

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253.08 - 255.543 Unknown

I have no idea what it looks like.

256.003 - 256.344 Jose

Okay.

256.364 - 259.006 Unknown

All I know is I receive an email. There's a package there.

Chapter 7: What is revealed about the relationship with the victim's husband?

259.066 - 262.49 Unknown

I get in my car. I get there, and wow, no package.

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263.271 - 268.056 Jose

What? Oh, that's just wrong, bro.

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268.156 - 273.001 Unknown

Yeah, it is wrong. You guys lost it or something. The name should say Paige.

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273.622 - 276.665 Jose

A Paige with three Gs.

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276.685 - 279.188 Unknown

No, one G. P-A-I-G-E.

279.208 - 281.07 Jose

It's very easy. Yeah, Paige.

282.367 - 284.335 Unknown

Oh, my God.

284.616 - 291.904 Jose

You know what? Packages are actually interesting because there's like so many of them.

291.985 - 294.829 Unknown

What would be interesting is if you found my package.

Chapter 8: How does the prank conclude and what is the final twist?

295.23 - 299.656 Jose

You're right. That would be cool. But think about it in my perspective.

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300.497 - 302.019 Jose

Think about it from this perspective.

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302.119 - 304.743 Unknown

Your perspective is that you lost my package.

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305.103 - 324.056 Jose

Right. But, like, the world itself is just one giant cosmic burrito. And packages are just, you know, the guac on top. Are you stoned right now? Are you high? Legally, I can't answer that question.

324.156 - 326.504 Unknown

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

326.644 - 331.459 Jose

Let me ask you this. Have you ever looked at your hand?

331.642 - 332.042 Unknown

What?

332.863 - 334.205 Jose

Yeah, now flip it over.

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