Ep #191: Dr. Debi Silber: The Truth About Betrayal No One Talks About…
episode
Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future
30 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 16 days ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What personal betrayals sparked Dr. Debi Silber’s journey into healing?
Had a really painful betrayal from my family, and then it happened again a few years later. This time it was my husband.
That shattered your sense of self.
We can't show up effectively. Our confidence was shattered. Релизing на пауте пін хазовас.
How does Dr. Silber define betrayal as a unique type of trauma?
Betrayal is a different type of trauma that needs a different way to heal. If you're stuck, no ritual is gonna get you out of change begins when you tell yourself the truth.
Welcome back, Beatrice Chalette here. Today we are with uh Dr. Debbie Silver and we are addressing a crazy, crazy topic that I think you all need to be hearing. So my first question to you is, are you carrying a wound? A betrayal so deeply that shattered your sense of self. And what did you do about it?
Yeah. It's uh betrayal is one of those things where it's we don't see it, so we don't recognize it, we don't validate, we don't speak about it, but it greatly impacts how we show up in our work, in our health, in our relationships, of course. And I see it particularly, and I think this is what will really resonate with your audience, when we have low morale, low productivity, absenteeism. We their betrayal shatters the self. So Whether it's we're working within a company or let's say we're representing our own business, we can't show up effectively. We can't put ourselves out there because our confidence was shattered, right? We we don't trust a boss, a coworker, a collaborative partner. It affects everyone and everything.
So it all needs to be cleaned up. And the beauty, the beauty of all of that is there's a way to do all of it.
I love that, so I wanna dive in this for you though. Um What was the trigger event for you to do the work that you do and what does the PBT Institute stand for?
Yeah, so I don't think anybody says, You know, I think I want a steady betrayal. No.
Why does traditional forgiveness often fail for betrayal victims?
I No, you you study because you have to. So I've been in business close to thirty-four years now and it was health, mindset, personal development. I had a really painful betrayal from my family. I thought I did all I needed to do to heal from that. And then it happened again a few years later. This time it was my husband. That was the deal breaker. Got him out of the house, looked at the two experiences, thinking, what's similar? to these two, of course me, but what else? And I realized I never took my own needs seriously. Boundaries were always crossed. And I'm I'm one of those believers, you know, it it's like if nothing changes, nothing changes. So uh usually I went to courses or books or something to help me heal and there wasn't anything available.
So I decided to enroll in a PhD program. So here it was, four kids, six dogs, a thriving business, going back for a PhD at 50. And while I was there, I did a study and I studied betrayal. And I just wanted to study it so that I can help myself, help my clients, of course, help my kids. And that study led to three groundbreaking discoveries which changed my health,
my family, my work, my life. Beautiful.
What triggered the creation of the Post‑Betrayal Transformation Institute?
And we'll go into that in a second. But before I go there, I want to um really articulate this. Why could you not just forgive? I mean, isn't that what everybody else says? It's like, hey, it happened, big deal, you know, good things happen, bad things happen to good people, just let it go, move on. What was it about that that you felt that was not the way to go?
Yeah. Well it's interesting you say that because I'm the founder of National Forgiveness Day, September first. I'm a big believer in forgiveness. But forgiveness really has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with the self. It has everything to do with us releasing the power all that pain has over us. As it relates to healing from betrayal, when we let's say you're trying to rebuild with that person. And I even remember when I was doing my own study, reading a study about this, and it made so much sense. If you feel safe and valued and you forgive, you feel better. If you do not feel safe and valued and you forgive, you feel worse. There's a very important uh time frame for forgiveness, not certainly not early on.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What personal betrayals sparked Dr. Debi Silber’s journey into healing?
0:00–0:22
2
How does Dr. Silber define betrayal as a unique type of trauma?
0:22–2:10
3
Why does traditional forgiveness often fail for betrayal victims?
2:10–3:20
4
What triggered the creation of the Post‑Betrayal Transformation Institute?
3:20–12:36
5
What are the five predictable stages of post‑betrayal healing?
12:36–15:03
6
How do the first three stages of healing manifest physically and emotionally?
15:03–21:49
7
What self‑assessment questions and rituals can break the stuck‑stage cycle?
21:49–27:49
8
How does the house‑rebuilt metaphor illustrate transformation after betrayal?
27:49–30:53