Ep #194: Melissa Monte: From Jail Cell to A Million Downloads: The Truth About Reinventing Yourself

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Business Growth Architect Show: Founders of the Future 32 min 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed 15 days ago
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What traumatic event led Melissa Monte to end up in a jail cell?

Melissa Monte 0:00
Until the day I found myself sitting in the real cell. All I can think about is how to maintain my b. I was assaulted after blacking out at a party. Like just became this walking shell with a bright smile. Офіцер з опенда, дозеньзок з столен джулері. But that was also the moment actually pointed me toward my purpose.
Beate Chelette 0:32
What if the thing that you're trying to hide, the thing that you're so ashamed of to come to light ends up being your greatest asset? And Melissa Monte from Mind Love is going to share that with us today. And my first question to you is, Melissa, what's the story that you are so ashamed of that you didn't want to share?
Melissa Monte 0:53
I found that a lot of my life I was losing who I was. I didn't understand the core of who I was at a certain time. And it was almost as if I was vanishing from my own life little by little until the day I found myself sitting in a jail cell wearing torn scrubs and pre-worn panties and obsessing over how to purge my jail food. And so it escalated so quickly. It was that sort of dichotomy of the moment of realizing I'm sitting here in a jail cell for felony charges for a crime I did not commit and all I can think about is how to maintain my bulimia. And As I sat there, I remember just thinking, like, where did I go wrong? I was an advanced placement student, I was on the dean's list, I Uh everyone thought I had everything going for me.
Melissa Monte 1:48
But as I started to map back my story, I realized that I had spent years systematically disconnecting from my body. And it started when I was fifteen. I was assaulted after blacking out at a party. And there was a crowd of people actually cheering on my abuser while I was unconscious. And so after that, the only way I really knew how to survive it was to tell myself that I was fine. I had surface level understanding of self-development. And one of the things that I had kept since age twelve was mind over matter. So I said I'd just mind over matter this. I even laughed it off. I got really good at performing strength. Yeah. But that was also the moment that I stopped trusting my body. And so I kind of just became this
Melissa Monte 2:34
walking shell with a bright smile. But I think when you disconnect from yourself that early, you start to collect survival strategies. So I was binge drinking all the time, party drugs, bulimia, it was just anything to not feel, numbing the hunger, numbing the ache, just staying likable but small. And years later I met someone and he He was charming and generous and he said all the right things. And it just felt like somebody was coming to sweep me out of my life and into theirs, which I was wildly open to at that moment. And Over time though, his stories didn't add up. And I felt it, but I was ignoring it on purpose because his dad died the weekend I met him. My dad died when I was nineteen, and I just became determined to
Melissa Monte 3:25
love him in a way that I didn't feel loved and understood when I was going through that. And so I just sort of attributed everything to that and wanted to make him feel okay. But over time I found out he was an alcoholic, which was fine because it was kind of mirroring what I was doing. Uh but then I found out he was cheating on me over and over again. I found out he was addicted to meth and then eventually I tried to get away from him. I I went to Hawaii to stay with a friend for a month. just because I couldn't feel myself at all. And so I went away and I got myself together and it felt like I had healed. But I when I got back, I didn't address any of the internal stuff. Still. I was still just ignoring the wounds.
Melissa Monte 4:14
And a few weeks later, we were on our way to lunch and Because I just got roped back into all of his stories and then I saw headlights behind us and I thought we were being pulled over for running a stop sign or something, but then the police forcefully made us get out of the car and I just will never forget the look on the officer's face when he opened the trunk and he found dozens of lockboxes, a pair of bolt cutters, and cases of stolen jewelry.

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