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Chapter 1: What does Joe do at the beginning of the episode?
hello this is joe uh welcome to the monday vault uh in this episode james our editor is just putting whatever old depths out randomly uh don't know if it's gonna be any good or shit um but that's the chances you take some of them from the past for a bit anyway cheers
Fucking hell, I don't know if I want to watch this.
Right, can you see the floor? Right, I'm just going to get into position. I'm taking my headphones off so I can't hear you. Right. Right. Okay. Yeah.
Right.
Chapter 2: How does Joe prepare for the press-ups challenge?
If I'm here, can you see me?
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, I think this is a proper one. I can still hear you fucking laugh.
Go on then. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, go on.
Fuck. Fucking hell. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not doing it.
Not in a million years. It's there. Okay. There, you'll get it. Oh, fucking yes, this is what we're... Where are you? I want to see it. Oi! Don't do it off camera. Oh, you bastard. You're doing... What the hell? David is lift... What weight? Oh, fuck you. I'm not comfortable with that. David's lifting weights. Oh, no. I've never seen... Oh, no. Right, do you know what went through my head?
You know when you see someone in the gym and you go, that's their first day? And you don't think they're going to come back. You don't think they're going to come back?
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Chapter 3: What do the Patrons share during their calls?
Amazing. And they like, and then I love it because you go, shit, I make her listen. And she goes, I listen. And I go, do you? Sorry about that. I've got her into it. She doesn't like it as much as me, but she loves it. And I go, bloody hell, people are like driving about listening to this. So weird. We haven't said crunch, crunch enough for it to be a thing, in my opinion. No. Why is that?
Why is that? Anyway.
I mean, what more... I wonder if Right Said Fred will come on. I know I spoke about it in the last episode, but... But I wonder if they... I don't... I hope they... All right. I would tweet them, but I think people are going to jump on and go, I don't care about all that. Let's just chat to them about one of the great songs from the 90s.
Yeah, exactly. That's what they're here for. I went to Waitrose a few days ago to get a nice tea, and I was talking to Petra about the pod, and I was a little bit overexcited. And I said, we were talking about who to get on, who I'd like to get on. And I said, I've asked Rachel on Twitter quite a few times. I don't get it. And I was getting really carried away.
Like, I don't get why he doesn't want to come on. And she was like, he probably doesn't want to come on. That's all right.
Yeah, or you don't trust. Maybe you don't trust where it's coming from.
But I'd got really in my head for a moment. I thought, why wouldn't you want to come on?
Maybe it needs to come from someone a little bit more professional.
Also, why did I think that everyone would just want to come on?
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Chapter 4: How does Joe react to the Patron calls?
Well, Petra told me she tried to get someone from Shetland on them.
I wouldn't have a clue well for me never heard of it oh it's lovely it's like a detective thing on the Shetland fucking hell never heard of it that would have been an awful half hour for me well I would have loved it he could have gone I would have he he didn't want to do it anyway didn't he didn't he no it's fair enough what he said I don't want to do it I don't know exactly what he said but basically yeah
I had a few bumps down to earth. I'm watching a lot of Shetland. I'm watching, well, I'm watching a lot of stuff that I sent to Naomi. Right. But what am I watching?
I want... The great shows of the 90s, 2000s. Like Changing Rooms.
Oh, do you know what I want? I know who I want. Grand Designs.
Oh, you've never watched Grand Designs? I think... I think... I think... went out with him. What? What, Grand Designs play? Yeah. What? Yeah. What do you mean, think? Why have you not... I think they went to college or something, or... Yeah. Yeah. What? Yeah. How do you think? Did she say... Oh. No, well, I know. I'll ask now. I really hope she says don't say this.
She'll say don't say this on the pod, obviously.
Ryan Atkinson. It'd never come on. Absolutely no reason. Oh, John Lloyd. I'd love John Lloyd on. That'd be good. John Cleese. I've already asked. Nick Knowles. Do you know? Well, no, I can't say that. Anyway.
Oh, it's my phone. What was I going to say? I don't know. I don't know what to tell you, but I can't. I don't know how I can. No. Oh, do you ever, if you've, if you, there's a thing on YouTube that I've been watching. If you, do you know there's YouTube shorts? If you've got YouTube on your phone, you can look at little shorts. And they're like a minute long things.
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Chapter 5: What humorous stories does Joe share about gym experiences?
And it's fucking, mate, because it's New York. I don't know about you, but I'm fascinated by Manhattan and stuff and living there. And so someone was saying, like, a couple said, like, Ā£4,000.
Sorry, Naomi said, no, she did not go out with him. She did a paint effect course with him.
He was lovely, apparently. Oh, well, he seems lovely. I walked past him outside Channel 4 once.
I walked behind Nick Knowles down Oxford Street. Go on.
I went past Alan Hansen. I've also walked past Tony Adams and Sol Campbell. I had a piss next to Sean Bean in Camden. Who else? I can't remember what I said. Oh, yeah. So they basically... Yeah, and they show them on their flat. Some of them tiny, some of them amazing. And I've probably looked at 50, and it's the most addictive thing I've ever watched. Other people's homes, I just love.
Of course. House snoopers. We haven't done a house snooper. If there's a TV producer out there with any sort of... Mouse.
Yeah, and... Superb idea. House snoopers. We haven't done another house snoopers. ask, can you?
You literally want to... Well, I could get a patron on now. We could get someone from Patreon on. Let's do a house snooper. Or just chat. Can we do a house snooper? Don't... You've gone off house snoopers. I thought I couldn't give a fuck about it. We can do a house snooper. No, no, absolutely not. No, don't do a house snooper because you're not interested. I don't know why I'm not interested.
I find it uncomfortable. Find it uncomfortable. Oh, well, let's not do that then.
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Chapter 6: What are the hosts' thoughts on popular TV shows?
So can you go, is there anyone at work who can show us around? Whatever they're doing. I hate it.
Yeah, I'll do it if you want to do it.
No, no, because then it's all on me. No, I will if you want to do it. No, no, don't. I'm going to log off then. No, I'll do it if you want to do it. No, no, I will log off if you do it because it's all on me and then you'll just go, no, it wasn't my idea.
What are you going to ask him? I'm sort of interested in chatting to like a snake hunter.
What?
I wonder if we've got a load of snake hunters on, don't you? Any snake hunters?
Someone's a snake hunter.
Someone's a snake hunter. Chances are there are 300 people that follow us on.
I can put it on Patreon. I can.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts discuss their experiences with COVID-19?
Oh, fuck. Miles Gammon.
Oh, fucking hell. Miles Gammon? Yeah, Miles Gammon. Right, what do you reckon? Age. What do you reckon age Miles is? 37. I'd say 24. Hi. Hi. Hi, Miles. Hi, you all right? Where are you? You're on a tube? Yeah. What the fuck?
I'm on the overground.
Where? That's a London train, isn't it?
Yeah, off to Brunsbury. I was in the big party at the beginning. Were you?
So this is nothing to you? This is absolutely nothing to you. This is nothing to you. You've done this.
No, no. No, no, I don't think so. Naomi's friend told her that a friend of theirs, a mutual friend of theirs, Tom, was on the underground recently-ish, I think, and his flies were down. He wasn't wearing any pants. His knob was just hanging out.
Anyone doing that? Can you show us round the tube? Can you show us round the tube? Give it a look. Hold on. I'm getting off now. Are you? Look at that. Oh, it's nice and empty. Are you late for work?
No, I'm going to... I just started at uni.
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Chapter 8: What plans do the hosts have for future live shows?
Yeah, yeah, it was pretty good. That's really good. The England track was very impressive. What's the England track? The first one you did for the World Cup.
We've got to get that in the charts.
I was really pleased with that. We've got to get that in the charts. Yeah, I think so.
We might be losing miles.
No, we've got them back.
Can I ask one question? You're on 4G now, right? Yeah. Why does your 4G not run out? Because mine runs out really quickly. Have you got as much 4G as you want?
I mean, I've only been on for a few minutes. It's not going to run out in that time either.
Well, mine does. Mine got a really terrible deal. So how long can your 4G go for? Can you watch a football match?
That's why.
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