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Club Random with Bill Maher

Dana Carvey and David Spade | Club Random with Bill Maher

19 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

1.027 - 29.785 Bill Maher

This podcast is brought to you by PrizePix, the daily fantasy app where you make lineups based on player projections. No draft, no season-long commitment, just more or less. And suddenly you care a lot more about the third quarter. So here's the deal, and this part matters. Download the PrizePix app today and use code CLUBRANDOM to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup.

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29.765 - 53.292 Bill Maher

Prize picks, it's good to be right. Right now, hiring comes with its own set of headaches, specialized roles, way too many applicants, and not enough time to guess who's actually qualified. But ZipRecruiter's matching technology works quickly to connect you with top talent, so you're not wasting time or money. See for yourself.

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53.272 - 81.092 Bill Maher

Just go to this exclusive web address right now to try ZipRecruiter for free. ZipRecruiter.com slash random. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. This podcast is sponsored by Naked Wines. Naked Wines is a wine club that connects you directly with some of the world's best independent winemakers and delivers the bottles straight to your door. Now is the time to join the Naked Wines community.

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81.392 - 108.135 Bill Maher

Head to nakedwines.com slash random. Click enter voucher and put in my code random for both the code and password for $100 off your first order. That's six bottles for only $39.99 with shipping included. Well, folks, if you're going to spend money on something, it might as well be something you actually like. That's what I always say. That's where the Club Random merch store comes in.

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108.516 - 135.004 Bill Maher

That's right. Get yourself a cozy hoodie. Look at this. This is really well designed. That's right, get yourself a cozy hoodie to snuggle away your sorrows or some new Club Random shirts. Look at all this shit I have. To attract a partner with similar interests and live happily ever after. I've seen crazier rom-coms, so head over to clubrandom.com and bring home some random.

136.786 - 139.489 Bill Maher

You guys are kind of like that.

139.569 - 150.504 David Spade

Basically. You guys were dancing around it for long enough. It's a lot like a coach saying, you get hurt, this guy's going to go in for you, and you might not get your job back.

Chapter 2: How does ZipRecruiter help with hiring challenges?

150.544 - 152.389 Bill Maher

But you wouldn't say it was purposely cruel.

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156.259 - 161.031 Unknown

Bill comes in a little later. You kind of wait. Oh, hello. What?

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161.332 - 162.874 Dana Carvey

This is gonna be, oh.

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162.895 - 164.497 Unknown

The party's started.

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165.118 - 170.147 Bill Maher

You look nice. Is everything wrong, what's going on? Well, I'm gonna need more Kleenex than this.

170.167 - 179.844 Unknown

For Christ's sakes, Billy, you know, here you are with kind of the perennial senior motif, all right? You got like the Troy Donahue man cave. I know.

179.864 - 180.546 Bill Maher

Is he what I mean?

180.806 - 181.127 Unknown

I know.

181.147 - 182.35 Bill Maher

I'm going to need more than that.

Chapter 3: What are the challenges of stand-up comedy today?

402.142 - 404.946 Bill Maher

Well, you do have a Peter Pan complex.

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404.966 - 424.112 David Spade

No, we don't. Is this on? The funny thing is if someone says... And this always is the same loopy conversation, but if someone says, okay, some guy dated a 27-year-old and he was older, and they go, he's married. I mean... You know, pull that shit when you're single. You're married. If you're single, hey, do whatever you want. And then you're single and you do whatever you want.

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424.132 - 428.096 David Spade

And they go, we don't like that either. Can I make an observation?

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429.537 - 459.912 Unknown

Because I like to. No, this is not the forum for that. It's random. Biochemistry is interesting. Genetic predispositions are interesting. For some reason, as I've gotten older, my brain's evolved into being attracted to older women. And if you don't have that brain chemistry, because we all want the Playboy Bunny in high school, right? And I just moved on, that's all. You're sick.

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460.012 - 473.148 Unknown

Yeah, you're sick as fuck. You're not alone. No, I'm not kidding. No. I am kind of. He's just basically saying he likes it much. No, what you are is lucky. Uh-huh. Lucky. I do find older women really, my wife is very, very attractive.

473.188 - 489.508 Bill Maher

That is a, that is. It's not. That is, I'm sure you're being honest. No. And it's just something that is rare. Let's just be honest about the facts of it. It's rare. It's more what's going on in our brains. And I'm always going to rope you in with me.

489.628 - 491.491 David Spade

God, I was fucking immediately roped in. I mean, come on.

491.511 - 493.113 Bill Maher

You were born with a reputation.

493.133 - 513.964 David Spade

Well, it kind of slowed down. Also, I will say, in my defense, I also didn't want to lead with it. I didn't like anyone knowing that. Pete Davidson, he's got the new SNL. They would say, oh, you're kind of like with Spade. But I think he... was so outward with it, I wanted to warn him and say, don't do that because then no one talks about the comedy, you know? They gotta say what your job is.

Chapter 4: How do comedians navigate their careers and public perception?

618.334 - 634.476 David Spade

But if you're still single and haven't been married, I don't think you've been married. And so that's a little bit of a stigma. Nor have you, right? Yeah, so that's a little bit of a stigma where people get some free shots, like, never been married. I'm like, I would be more normal if I was married and divorced. And then be like, well, at least you did it.

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634.496 - 637.28 David Spade

Well, that's why they have the expression confirmed bachelor.

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637.62 - 639.963 Unknown

And I would say you two are confirmed.

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640.003 - 641.384 David Spade

Doesn't that mean something else?

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641.565 - 643.327 Dana Carvey

Does it have another meaning?

643.347 - 652.421 David Spade

I know Paul Lynde was a confirmed bachelor. Who? Paul Lynde. Oh, you mean, oh, that was cover for that? I think that's the cover, yeah. Right. Okay.

652.441 - 655.306 Bill Maher

Well, let me tell you, if they didn't know Dennis Miller, they're not going to know Paul Lynn.

655.326 - 657.55 David Spade

Yeah, I listen. Our references are fucked.

657.931 - 677.102 Bill Maher

You know what? I do this for the young people. I'm never going to get the ones who don't care about... like a million things that I care about, which is probably 90% of them, but 10% are always very smart and they're like probably we were when we were at that age, which is we were more interested in something we didn't know.

Chapter 5: What are the benefits of joining the Naked Wines community?

2843.746 - 2869.899 Bill Maher

So you get amazing wines to add up to 60% less than store prices without cutting corners on quality. They've been doing this for over 15 years, backing more than 90 independent winemakers around the world. Get the best wine at the best prices with Naked Wines. Now is the time to join the Naked Wines community. Head to nakedwines.com slash random.

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2870.6 - 2896.685 Bill Maher

Click enter voucher and put in my code random for both the code and password for $100 off your first order. That's six bottles for only $39.99 with shipping included. That's $100 off your first six bottles at nakedwines.com slash random. Use the code word and password random for six bottles of wine for $39.99.

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2897.266 - 2905.506 David Spade

This guy's like this. squeezing things, droplets. I'm like, do we need to get out of here?

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2905.606 - 2907.569 Unknown

I know. The powder comes out.

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2908.27 - 2915.438 Bill Maher

Again, the way your mind leaps to... And jumps, yeah. Yeah, why would that be... Well, you're busy over there.

2915.458 - 2916.64 Unknown

Because I can't say those jokes.

Chapter 6: What is the significance of being a lifelong pothead in comedy?

2916.68 - 2926.632 Bill Maher

You know what? I'm a lifelong pothead, and potheads, it is true, when they sit down and talk to you, it's a whole culture of like... Tinkering. Like, it's...

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2926.612 - 2932.08 Unknown

I smoked pot constantly for a while. For one year, I smoked a lot of weed in 79.

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2932.181 - 2938.49 David Spade

Is this the orb they found in Brazil? And what happened? Oh, yeah. You smoke weed. What happened?

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2938.731 - 2950.849 Unknown

You cried again? I cried. No, no, I loved it. I mean, in 78, this isn't funny, but my friend and I, we were seeing Neil Young at the boarding house. And he was doing, you know.

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2950.869 - 2951.731 Bill Maher

Got a small venue?

2951.891 - 2969.08 Unknown

Yeah, 300 seater. And he was working out. Russ never sleeps, but we didn't know that. So we smoke weed, we go in, he's got all the guitars and 12-string, and we thought he was playing to pre-tapes. It was so fucking magic. But a lot of Neil Young that year comes the time.

2969.1 - 2985.124 Bill Maher

But this is after he was already big with Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Yeah. So he was just dropping into like... Work out this new album, which the first time... Just like us. Music comedians don't do that. That's like what we do. Go to a small club to work out.

2985.424 - 2987.486 Unknown

What do you do now? Do you go to the comedy store?

2987.526 - 2990.749 Bill Maher

I don't do it anywhere now. I don't do anything.

Chapter 7: How do comedians prepare for performances in different venues?

2990.789 - 3001.32 Bill Maher

But for all those years, this whole century, I never went. Once I was out of the improv, I was out of the improv. I never felt I needed to try out new stuff.

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3001.34 - 3004.062 David Spade

You don't practice at all before you go on the road and do an hour?

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3004.102 - 3014.193 Bill Maher

No. It's all those years that one reason I stopped and people said, you know, well, you could do it, just do Vegas. No, I was always in shape because I was always doing it.

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3014.353 - 3016.896 David Spade

Where were you doing?

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3016.916 - 3023.022 Bill Maher

Everywhere, just like him. I was on the road every other weekend. I was in Detroit and Chicago and then it was Memphis.

3023.042 - 3024.263 David Spade

So you're working your hour.

3024.684 - 3040.964 Bill Maher

I always had it going. And I used to use that you know, a music stand and have just my bullet points. So I was never fighting memory. I knew, you know, there's none of that, what's next? What else? Not what else with me. It's like, no.

3042.365 - 3047.933 David Spade

That's me. What else is going on? What else is going on? You know a comedian is dying when it's like, so what's up?

3048.373 - 3069.365 Bill Maher

I'm going to tell you what else and I'm not going to pause. I love that. And I would work, I would take my, shit home, those bullet points, and it was in my computer, and I would edit it as what happened that weekend. I loved that process. So I always had it, you know, like, bing, bing, bing, bing. You don't do crowd work, do you? Yeah, sure, if somebody, you have to sometimes.

Chapter 8: What insights are shared about the evolution of comedy and heckling?

3093.94 - 3101.67 Unknown

Boom, right? 2020, I don't come to your job and slap the dick out of your mouth. And that's the difference. Sorry, folks.

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3101.69 - 3113.504 Bill Maher

No, no. We did that in 1982. Oh, you did? Absolutely. You did that, Joe? I remember that when I was in the club starting, and that's the early 80s. I don't come down to where you work and knock the dick out of your ass.

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3113.544 - 3114.125 Unknown

That's funny.

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3114.185 - 3118.11 Bill Maher

We weren't, like, afraid to say that in the 80s. I didn't know that. Was this the 1880s?

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3118.631 - 3118.831 Unknown

No.

3118.851 - 3127.863 David Spade

I was a Christian comic. I didn't get out much. Oh, no, no. I actually had... a guy knocked the dick out of my mouth when I was working. And I was like, was he a comedian?

3127.883 - 3131.829 Unknown

That was not Kevin Nealon. You've heard this story, but you're not.

3132.47 - 3152.228 Bill Maher

No, I miss the fuck out of it, but I don't miss the, oh, the mishigas to get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And to, even with the plane. That became a headache because all these crypto assholes are chasing too few planes. Unless you own it, and I never wanted to own a plane.

3152.328 - 3153.629 Unknown

That's too many headaches.

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