Bill Burr Returns Again
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Why does Bill Burr return to Conan's podcast?
Hello, my name's Bill Burr. And I feel good about being Conan O'Brien's friend, but I feel this is a little red flag that might be a little narcissist that I got to fucking say why I'm his friend every time. I feel like I've already answered this question.
I'm called a bottomless hole. There's no filling this. Every time you're going to have to repeat.
Gee, what is that like?
Fall is here, hear the yell. Back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walking blues. Climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, sitting here with Sona Mosessian and a giggling, I don't know why, Matt Gourley. It's the way I introduce the show, so just get over it. You can't giggle every single time.
I can't get over it because every time it's hilarious. It's like a nosebleed of change of environment. You go from to, hi and welcome to the show.
I'm a professional broadcaster. Yeah. Okay. And I have a question and this is a serious question, which is, can I become flexible at my age? I mean, physically flexible. And this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately because I know people do yoga and stuff. I am a particularly tight, tight assed gentleman of a later vintage lifestyle. You see me all the time trying to stretch it out, don't you, Sona?
I think your body is capable of it. I don't think your mind is capable of it. Be honest. I'm being very honest. Sounds honest to me. I think your body can become flexible if you work at it, but you're also so tightly wound, you're just like...
No, but you see me trying, right?
I do see you trying.
I do a lot of, like, squats and bends, and I'm trying. And I was doing a live show with Tig Notaro once, and I was backstage just trying to stretch before I go out, and she had the microphone and could see me and was just calling me out in front of the whole audience. Like, Conan's doing these stupid stretches that will in no way... It was hilarious. Of course, she's hilarious. I'm kind of fascinated with this idea that I think there's part of me that thinks because of what I come from, this... very tightly wound, I don't know, Boston Catholic, whatever you want to do. Sure. And then my own propensities that it's never going to happen. And then there are days where I think, no, I could do this. I could do this. I could become a flexible person.
But then I think there's another school of thought. No, if you're not flexible at the age I'm at now, you can look it up. Google away.
I don't think that's true.
And I'm sorry, do you want to be flexible just to be flexible? Or to what end? Is there a sport you want to play?
I'd like to become a sexual athlete. Oh, dear.
A sexual athlete?
No, no. What I would like to do is, yeah, I just, I don't want to stiffen up as I get older. I guess you're wearing some, like, Yeah. And I'm bringing it up today because, as you know, I'm still displaced, whatever. Very fortunate to still have my place. But I do sometimes just pick clothes out of the back of my car. And today I picked this stuff out and I realized I basically wore what you would wear to like a gym today, which I rarely do. I usually like to dress.
Can you stand up?
Yeah, sure.
I think it looks like you're in the Hunger Games. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. This is this. My wife got these for my son. He didn't want them. And I put them on.
And then I realized they're uncomfortable.
I know we should be. There is this weird cross hatching. It looks to me like I'm on the set of Logan's Run, the TV show from or Tron. Right. Right. This is not me. I never do this.
But you're just missing a headband.
Yeah. But because I'm wearing this, I do feel there's a little bit of an 80s vibe. But also because I'm wearing this, when you wear clothes like this, you start doing stretches. And it was on my mind because I started doing stretches today out in the main room where everybody is. And I got on the floor and other people. RJ.
RJ.
RJ, who works here at the podcast. He told me he's been stretching like on a professional level since he was five. Yeah.
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