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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Limp Paddle With Special Guest D’Arcy Carden

25 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode featuring D'Arcy Carden?

3.524 - 12.415 Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash callconan. Okay, let's get started.

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13.076 - 14.458 Derek

Hello, folks.

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14.478 - 26.232 Conan O'Brien

Hi, Derek. Welcome to Conan Needs a Fan with special guest Darcy Carden. Derek, how are you? I'm doing well. Good to see you. Okay, so you can see us. You can see us and we can see you.

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28.535 - 28.935 Sona Movsesian

Oh, yeah.

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28.995 - 35.185 Conan O'Brien

That's what I was waiting for. Derek, where are you calling from? I'm in Mountain View, California. Very nice.

35.265 - 48.668 Sona Movsesian

I've been there. Have you been to Mountain View? Is that where Shoreline is? Shoreline Amphitheater? Yeah, Shoreline Amphitheater. So you know things by theater. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I saw Lollapalooza there when I was in junior high at the Shoreline.

48.648 - 49.989 Conan O'Brien

I'm confirming this right now.

50.33 - 58.138 Sona Movsesian

Yeah. In like 90 freaking something. Oh, okay. At the shoreline. Yeah. He's kind of saying it like, oh, she's wrong, but I'm right.

60 - 66.568 Derek

Interesting, but I'm right. I thought that was a Chicago show, but maybe I... It used to travel.

Chapter 2: How does D'Arcy Carden connect to the world of pinball?

192.992 - 208.458 Conan O'Brien

But then when you pull out that her professor was... My wife, that's nuts. And I remember that summer, Liza was pregnant that summer. Yeah, I think with me. Yeah, with Darcy, with Darcy.

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208.518 - 209.54 D'Arcy Carden

I'm their little baby.

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209.56 - 215.932 Conan O'Brien

Right, right. And you came out and you went, gaga, goo goo, and then winked right to camera. And you were 20.

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215.972 - 221.121 D'Arcy Carden

It was just really weird. And you were like, I don't want her. I don't want her. I was like, this is the kid for me.

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221.641 - 222.443 Conan O'Brien

Well, that's amazing.

222.483 - 223.224 D'Arcy Carden

That's very cool.

223.304 - 230.817 Conan O'Brien

That was really good. And Derek, I'm going to get us to pinball because someone told me a little merd.

230.797 - 232.861 D'Arcy Carden

Beep, beep, beep. That's what a bird says.

233.563 - 234.124 Conan O'Brien

Beep.

Chapter 3: How do competitive pinball leagues operate?

611.376 - 612.617 Sona Movsesian

So I'll sign right here.

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613.178 - 616.581 Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien. Oh, no!

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616.721 - 619.244 Sona Movsesian

I'm a witness. I can memorize this. Yeah, yeah.

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619.624 - 642.469 Conan O'Brien

So this is fascinating. Is there any cheating? Do people ever mess with the game? Have you ever caught someone who has infiltrated the game, maybe tweaked it in a way? Added another ball. Oh, I'm sorry. I said that like it's easy to do. It's not easy to do that. I mean, that wasn't what I was thinking, but I wasn't getting that specific. Right.

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642.629 - 655.105 Derek

Sure. Yeah. Well, Derek, what do you think? I'd say in terms of, you know, I guess conduct issues that you might encounter, you know, if our officials who we have players who act as officials during the league nights and during the tournaments.

655.085 - 667.474 Derek

If they see, you know, basically like bad behavior, like trying to distract players, sometimes like playing in a way that is meant to kind of like, you know, pull their eyeline away, like kind of stand on their side.

667.614 - 670.14 Conan O'Brien

Oh, can I ask you a question? Is there trash talking? Is there trash talking?

670.12 - 685.543 Derek

There is. There is. But I'd say, you know, you got to just like any any area, you got to know your audience. Right. So I think I think there's probably most of the trash talk is between people who really are just playing hard and want to have fun. Sometimes. Yeah.

685.603 - 698.862 Derek

If there is trash talk, the tournament directors have extraordinary discretion to give warnings or to just ban or exclude someone from a tournament if they think that they're just not conducive to the environment. So that's that's.

Chapter 4: What is the role of a commissioner in the San Francisco Pinball Department?

705.334 - 707.037 Conan O'Brien

That's her paddle's so limp.

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707.057 - 708.3 Derek

Can you say you got a limp paddle?

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708.32 - 709.762 Sona Movsesian

Do you ever say you got a limp paddle?

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709.782 - 713.569 Derek

That's a new one. I mean, I think you could bring a lot to the trash talk game with that.

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713.589 - 722.882 Sona Movsesian

I'm pretty good at trash talking. But is it just like, probably no swearing, right? No F, no S, no B, no A. Good God. Very good.

723.062 - 743.5 Derek

I mean, W is fine. W is fine. But no, I'd say with that, there's actually a fair amount of tolerance or at least like I've seen people who have like really big reactions. And even then, you know, as long as it's genuine, sort of like it's in the heat of passion, it's not really directed in sort of a really sort of malicious way.

743.54 - 762.297 Derek

I think that you might get a warning just like, hey, just try to keep it cool, but you're not going to get banned. Okay. And so, yeah, so I think, you know, there's levels to it as with any sort of group activity that way. But in terms of the game, yeah, the adulteration of the game, I'd say is probably unlikely. There's, I mean, there's maybe one thing that actually happens.

762.317 - 765.785 Conan O'Brien

When you say fixing the game, you mean it's hard to get in there and adjust the electronics?

765.805 - 778.359 Derek

Oh, sure. Right, right, right. Yeah, or you would have to, especially, Sona, to your suggestion in terms of adding balls or something like that, that would require you to remove the glass, unless you drilled a hole in the side. No, but that's what I'm talking about.

Chapter 5: What strategies can improve your pinball game performance?

873.468 - 890.719 Derek

It's got a lot of the call-outs of the voices and whatnot. But it's... In terms of the rule set, like as a pinball game, I think it's generally disliked in a competition setting because a lot of people call it the big stupid ramp. Like a lot of games have the big stupid ramp. And so if they have to speak for this.

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890.819 - 897.43 Sona Movsesian

Is this one where, wait, you were about to tell us about the big stupid ramp, but does a second ball come out occasionally on that one?

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897.578 - 899.18 Derek

I think there's a multiball, yeah.

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899.2 - 902.285 Sona Movsesian

This is what someone was talking about. Someone rigged the game.

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902.325 - 904.649 Derek

Matt Groening rigged it like 30 years ago.

904.689 - 909.075 Sona Movsesian

I feel like the big stupid ramp leads it right down the center of the flippers, right?

909.937 - 921.915 Derek

No, it usually will return it to the, it's called like a lane return. So it'll put it on your flippers. So that way you can flip it again. Yeah. Usually it's not going to put it in too much danger unless you miss it. And then it rolls backwards down the ramp, down the center.

921.895 - 927.965 Conan O'Brien

What about the one where it bounces and then it goes into the one that makes you lose? No fair. Right?

928.045 - 933.675 Derek

Can you move? Bounces and then makes you lose. In a specific game or you're just talking about generally?

Chapter 6: Is there a culture of trash talking in pinball competitions?

1544.775 - 1569.849 Conan O'Brien

Bye. All right. Thanks, Conan. Thanks, Sona. Thanks, Tarzan. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising Producer, Aaron Blair. Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples.

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1570.23 - 1586.824 Conan O'Brien

Associate Producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.

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