You Are So President Taft
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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started.
Hi, Eloise. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hello. Hey, guys. Hey, Eloise. How are you?
I'm doing okay. Yeah, I'm doing good.
Okay. Well, you're talking to myself, Matt, Sona, the gang. Hi. And tell me, I don't know much. Tell me where are you right now? Who are you? Tell us the whole story.
Sure. My name is Eloise. My pronouns are she, her. I'm calling from Manila in the Philippines. I am kind of like a healer in my community. So I'm a relationship and life coach. And I'm also my country's first openly trans soccer player.
Wow. That's fantastic. And you say you're a healer as well. So you can help people. Maybe you could help me.
Please. I don't know.
Okay.
Who do you need help with? I was hoping you would know. I have some guesses. I think that would be rude. Well, you live in Manila and tell me just a little bit about your life. What do you like to do? How do you have fun?
I love pizza.
Wow. Pizza is the great unifier of everything you just said. So you are very active in the trans community. You have lots of get togethers. What kinds of things do you like to do with your friends who are trans? What kind of, you know, do you have parties? Do you have, what do you do?
Yeah, we do like to have parties. We like to watch a lot of movies together and kind of just bond and connect over being weird.
Yeah, I would like to join you because I'm told I'm weird, you know, part of my life story.
I think you would be a good addition to the LGBT community. I'm not a certified representative, but I think we could use a little bit of Conan Cause I think I'm the only one in my community that listens.
Okay. Well, all right. Well then there's work to be done. That's why I'm here.
I think leave them alone.
My mission has always been to expand my presence in the LGBTQ community in the Philippines. Very specifically. I said that in 1963, the year I was born. I remember.
Yeah, you remember.
Wow, you have a time machine, apparently. Yeah. Well, would I get along? Would I fit in with everybody? I'm a pretty friendly person. Would they accept me? I guess that's the big question. Would your friends accept me?
Uh, well...
This isn't going well, Eloise. Eloise, I'm not getting good signals, Eloise.
And I don't think it's the same. I think there's a lot of work to be done. And I'm not just talking about therapy. But I think in terms of the queer community, I will be playing your podcast while I'm doing my makeup in the morning. And my fiancee, who's also here, will be listening. And you'll be like, what are you talking about?
Oh.
Oh, I think so. Yeah. Your friends are picking up when I'm laying down is what you're saying.
Yeah, I think like the James Bond references aren't going. Yeah, Conan. Those are not my fault.
Specifically the James Bond references. That's Matt.
That's Matt who has the obscure references.
Hold on, last time that came up in detail, you brought it up. Who brings up Calvin Coolidge? Because I don't think that. Thank you.
I always thought that Calvin Coolidge was huge in the trans community in the Philippines. Yeah. That was my understanding. Not so much President Taft. I get it.
But Coolidge, yeah. Lyndon Johnson, I think, is... If you reference Johnson more, it might be a little bit better.
Okay, I'll double down on Johnson. Okay. Well, okay, so you say that... Let's say I came to Manila, and let's say that you and I were to meet, and you were going to take me out for a night with your friends in the trans community. What would we be doing?
Okay. I was thinking about this and the first thing we would go to is there's this event called Girl Nation. It's a lesbian event and it's mostly all lesbian women and some trans men and then like one or two chill guys. So you have to pass that test of being chill and also an ally. And once you do that, yeah, I think that's why I'm here to help is maybe I can teach you some slang or some things that will help you blend in and not stand out.
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