Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
From mistaken vernacular to outright derailing episodes, it's time for Best of Unfair, Part 1.
So you like the writing down the rules. Is there anything we want to rip out? Do we want to rip out the subreddit appeal thing? Because I feel like that's been a mess.
Yeah, we didn't use it. It doesn't make sense. I don't even know if we should have an unfairness clause. Shall I just write down remove all unfairness clauses? We could do something where, you know, if someone declares something is unfair, something's done on the spot, but I don't know what that would be. An immediate wheel. Another wheel spin. One more wheel. The wheel of fairness.
If one of us declares something is unfair, we spin a wheel where either we win the appeal or we're forced to host a one man show. It's a risky claim. No, no. It's got to be something with like trial by combat. You know, is this unfair? Let God decide. What if it's just a coin flip? Heads for fair, tails for unfair. What if it's a really heavily stacked against it being unfair coin flip?
Like you can declare it's unfair, but it's a nine to one chance. It's going to be fair.
Do you have to win three coin flips in a row for it to be fair?
I like that. Then we just, then we just have a wheel of fairness. Nah, the coin flip is cool. Okay. Coin flips. If you win three coin flips in a row, it was unfair and you are justified. That is fate saying. That's the universe taking your side.
Yeah. And you can only do that once. What a one in eight chance, three coin flips, one in eight.
That's fair. That's actually... That's pretty good. That's better than what Mark wanted.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts define fairness in their game?
Well, I mean, I'm saying if you forced it to flip three times... I get what he's doing. Because you have to flip three times. And that's another one in eight chance that something terrible happens. For daring invoke... It's double point loss.
you know if you don't get three in a row 75 chance you're good 12 and a half percent you win 12 and a half percent you really lose that's good i like that so we're not just throwing out unfairness willy-nilly there has to be a risk okay so if you lose three coin flips in a row what was it you lose double the points or you get double the unfair yeah whatever what you said was unfair will be dealt double
So, like, if Mark gives you a point, I'm like, that should be my point. And I say it's unfair. You would get two points. Or, you know, if Mark says I lose a point, I'm like, no, I don't lose a point. That's unfair.
We do the three coin flips, then I can either lose two or... We should make it that as soon as the word unfair falls out of someone's mouth, it happens. Even if they don't realize they're doing it. So we've got to be very careful about what we're saying. Because as soon as the word unfair comes out, coin flip immediately. Stop everything we're doing.
We're going to do an episode just called Fair or Unfair where every three seconds, we're flipping again.
All right, that's in there. Once per episode, you may declare unfairness by saying the word unfair out loud and initiate three coin flips. Win three in a row and unfairness is proven. Lose three flips in a row and it is made doubly unfair.
well it's made doubly fair because if it was unfair then the unfairness would be valid that's fair enough fair enough if we say fair you have to flip or just unfair both is that what we're saying the trigger word is unfair so if like thank you mark that's incredibly fair nothing happens but for like mark that's unfair we immediately coin flip i think it also should be valid if you trick another host into or another contestant into saying unfair i like that i think if anyone ever says the word unfair for any reason and any of the other two people hear it and catch it it is triggered
Even if it's a trick. What about synonyms to unfair? What about when we say that's unreasonable? Has to be the word unfair. What if you say funfair? Can't spell funfair without unfair. He said it! No parts of other words, no hyphenations.
must be unfair i gave us three episodes before we forget this oh yeah no the convolution is very good though because it will forget about it for like months and then out of nowhere during a highly heated episode someone will just be like he said it and then it will happen and it'll i think the audience can participate if they catch us not saying it they can remind us and then we have to doubly unfair later no that's stupid fuck me
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Chapter 3: What are the rules for declaring something unfair?
Wait, where am I then if the wheel doesn't come up?
I'm cool with that.
That's fun. That's fun.
Yeah, I think Bob and I both agree. We could add two.
Ah, shit.
All right, put it on. This guy gets two slices of the wheel, but you know, we'll let it slide this once.
I really want to ask, I don't know if the host, I can do this, but I don't think you can't. I'm confused what would even happen if you succeeded, but I'd love to know. Yeah, let's find out. All right, I'm declaring unfair because I should have one of those. There should be one for me, but if it gets declared not double fair. One more for each of us? Yeah. God, I fucking hope some tails come up.
So if Mark wins, we all get one or just him?
No, if Mark wins, he also gets one so that each of us has one. If it's all tails, you and I get two and Mark still has zero. Okay. Here we go. Oh no. Is that tails? No, mine's heads. Mine is the lady and traditionally the lion or whatever the fuck this is has been my tails.
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Chapter 4: How do coin flips impact the game outcomes?
Oh, only question mark points?
Only question... Well, if it's either no question marks or double question marks, right?
No, I like that. what if all the points are converted to question marks but all new question marks have to be rolled so then then we then it basically kind of resets the points in it is it will be even more fair doubly fair if question marks are the fair way then that so shall it be but if they're unfair get them out of here
If Mark wins, the score would be 11 points Bob, 10 points Mark before we go into wheels. All right. All right. I would take it. If it's all question marks, then the score is five to negative two with a whole lot of sixes to roll. All right. I'm okay with this. Come on. Heads is Mark. Tails. All heads is gets rid of question marks. All tails is all question marks.
I love this. This is my favorite one we've done so far.
This is what it's meant to be. Please don't be nothing. Ha!
tails oh my god tails tails that's tails because heads is the lady in the dress okay so we're into all question marks i guess that's an acceptable outcome well right now it's not looking good for you thank you gods of unfair i think maybe hold on for a second before i thank you so i have to roll 10 d6s for mark and 11 d6s for bob and then do all the math I like my chances.
Starting with a three point lead. You have a seven point lead, Bob. It's all question marks. That's all right. Get ready for the most sixes you've ever seen in your life. And I just hope it's on my turn. All right. So who's this for then? Mark, you won the challenge. No, you lost the challenge. Technically. Technically. So, Bob, you decide who goes first. I want to go first. All right.
Bob is first. Bob, I have to roll 11 D6s for you.
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Chapter 5: What happens when someone challenges unfairness?
Okay.
Yes. Good. Okay. One. Two. Yes. Three. Four. Five. Yes. Six. Yes. Seven. Yes. Eight. Oh. Nine. Yes. Ten. Yes. Eleven. Yes. No, wait, no. I don't know what the hell that came out to.
I got a final tally of three, plus three to my score, but we'll see if everyone agrees.
I got plus 3 as the end, that's what you said?
Yeah, that's what I got. You have a plus 3 and you already had a 5, so right now you're at 8. Yes! 8 to negative 2? That's in the range. That is possible. Mark, you started at negative 2, you've got 10 rolls. Watch. You better roll some fucking winners. Alright, 10 times. One. No. Two.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to scoring discrepancies?
Three. Yes. Four. Alright. Five. Nope. Six. Nope. Seven. No. Eight. No. Nine. Yes. Ten. Yes. No! That's so close. Wait.
Okay, so Mark, we got plus 1, minus 1, plus 1, plus 1, plus 3, plus 2, plus 1, plus 3.
No! Minus 1, plus 3. Is that right? I got 12! I got 12! 11 minus 1 is 10. I got 13. Well, I'm not very good at math, but I agree. I might be wrong here. Let me double check. No, that's what I got. I got 13 too, so... You're probably right. I did that all on the fly on my fingers. 1, 2, 5, 7, 8, 11, 10, 13, minus 2, 11. So 11 for Mark is greater than 8 for Bob. No. What a weird switch.
Man, Wade, your size is weird. What does that mean?
Chapter 7: What strategies do the hosts use to negotiate points?
What does that mean? It's got two lie points, some negatives, a scratched out completely thing going on here. Man, you might want to flip that coin. Something ain't right here. All right, unfair. I'll do it right now. All right. Well, you didn't... I didn't... What is it for? What's unfair? Tell us. I was going to say, let me read it first, and then you can decide. No, I declare unfair.
To your points... Yes!
All of Wade's points are unfair. I like this.
This could go really well for me. Alright, so if it's all unfair, then I need to reverse all of the points' values. But I'll tell you, that's not going to help you. No, I like this. This is good. At least then they'd be fair. You could've let me read them first! Alright, whatever. No, that would've been more unfair. Alright, okay, alright, okay. Where's my coin? There it is. Here we go!
heads tails tails tails sorry bud all right very fair very fair points fair points thank you mark for a fair game i'm clearly biased against you because that's your third strike you're out of here thank god unless hold on where's my coin oh god i think this game should keep going unfair god damn it
so you are challenging that it's unfair that that ends that specific round that you think you should continue to do I think stupid was a stupid answer well that's true but I wasn't looking for alright so if we get all heads then Wade wins if we get all tails then Wade loses and it was fair and shall be made doubly fair yes I got tails
heels oh damn it turns out it was perfectly right it was the right amount of fair reflip un-unfair fair double dog unfair i appreciate that you tried that way all right well i can't argue anymore the coin is declared who gives a fuck about what what would be inside the diary of a ceo
Oh, July 27th. Too much money today. They brought three big trucks full of money to my house. And I was like, where am I to put all of this money? Oh, my money closets are all full. I'll have to start filling my third pool with money. And I was like, oh, then I could Scrooge McDuck my way through the pool. But we all know that doesn't work with all...
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude regarding fairness and scores?
tried that when you get your first few truckloads of money everybody tries the scrooge mcduck life is unfair oh no wait but i didn't say it he said it oh no so wait this was not even bob this was steven bartlett calling unfair
Alright, if it's all heads, Steven Partlet's podcast gets deleted. If it's all tails, our podcast gets deleted. It's the only way. Well, let's see what happens. This is a really important coin flip. Wait, there's more. Alright, you know what? Fuck it. Here we go.
Ha!
tails oh thank god oh we almost got him oh that was close i like how mine's a dramatic reveal because the focus doesn't work anymore i like how mine's a dramatic reveal because what the fuck is mine well mine's a lady and a lion the lion is tails don't ask questions mine's a george and an eagle oh one of us needs to unfair it then oh i said it anyway
Wade said unfair.
So either we both get two points or we both get none?
Ah, you heard the man. You know what? I got my coin. God damn it. Heads, uh-oh. Tails. Oh, well, mine doesn't even matter. That brings our current score.
Mark at 12. Bob at 9. Me at 1. The switching of Bob's point really made a difference here.
I declare unfair on the final point totals. Okay. What are we gonna... No points? No points? No points? No points? That would make it... Yeah, so what does this change? Do I reverse them?
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