We Hate These States
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What is the introduction to the episode?
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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible, this episode. Manipulative Mark sharpens sticks, enhances ornithology, then regally wrecks the greatest republic. Bohemian Bob makes an aquapark, bows to peer pressure, then removes the island's Patriots, Party, and Packers. Romantic Wade is loved up with cicada dare, picks on Pennsylvania... The Windy City and the Lone Star. From popsicles to population loss. Yes! It's time for We Hate These States. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello, welcome to Distractible. Thank you for joining us for another evening and or morning, or you're that weirdo that's staying up until midnight for when the episode releases. Hey, you're the best and weirdest of them all. Thank you. But this is Distractible, the show where I'm the host and these two are the competitors in the game of my choosing, which is usually made up and half-fleshed out and not quite done, which is no exception on this episode. But before we get into any of that... We're going to discover what's going on in our lives or the world around us. It doesn't have to be our lives. The world exists outside of this podcast. Oh, this is Bob and Wade. Sorry, I didn't even say that.
Oh, okay. I didn't want to step out of turn, but hello. Hi.
Hello.
Hi. I really want one of those old, they're still called popsicles. They kind of like came in like the package and they were liquidy and you put them in the freezer and there's like the orange, the red, the pink. You mean like Otter Pops? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Ethan went on a big thing about Otter Pops during his on, so.
I don't know why, but somehow you doing your intro made me think I want that. His intro specifically made you feel that? I wasn't thinking about it, and then he started talking, and I was like, ooh, one of those sounds real good right now. Huh. Didn't get that at all on my end. Merch? Wait, too soon. We'll do that later. And podcast, oh, I almost said it. So I don't know if I talked about this on the, are we doing small talk? Sorry. Yeah. We're doing small talk. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. This is I don't know if I talked about this on the show previously, but James Splash Tables, I think, is what they're. I don't know. It's like a little table. You fill it up with water and he plays in it. Right. It's just like you play with toys in it, whatever. It's really good summer toy because it's like it's not just running a sprinkler. It's like a set amount of water.
So you don't just, you know. blast water or every witch away and last summer he got one of those and i looked at it and i was like you know what would be really sick there's like a top and a bottom and if you put if you pour water in the top it like rains and it's really fun but you have to physically like take a bucket and pour it and i was like what if i buy what if i get like a like an aquarium pump and I'll feed a hose up to the top, and I'll set the pump in the bottom, and it'll cycle the water. So it's always right. And I did all this research, and I bought one thing off the Internet, and it didn't work. And I bought another thing off the Internet, and it didn't work for other reasons. And it was all that literally my setup would be like, I have an external battery pack with a USB cord running to the pump into water. It's all just the sketchiest shit. And I was like, I spent a lot of time trying to homebrew this thing. Never quite worked right. Eventually, I just gave up and whatever.
On the internet yesterday, I was presented with an ad for exactly that product made in the simplest, most concise way possible. It's just a thing. You drill one hole. And I looked and I was like, this costs less than one of my multiple attempts at doing it myself did. Son of a bitch.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the introduction to the episode?
0:00–12:10
2
What is the premise of downsizing states?
12:10–22:32
3
Which state is first on the chopping block?
22:32–22:42
4
What reasons are given for eliminating Pennsylvania?
22:42–25:26
5
Why is Illinois targeted for deletion?
25:26–32:27
6
What arguments are made against Michigan?
32:27–33:31
7
What states are proposed for elimination next?
33:31–45:36
8
What are the final thoughts on the state downsizing?
45:36–1:08:14