Cuckolded by Mr Tumble | Claudius (Part 2)

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Fin vs History 54 min 8 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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How did Claudius become emperor after Caligula's death?

Thank you.
Fin Taylor 0:12
Welcome back to Finverse History. I'm joined by Horatio Gould. This is part two of the Claudius story. We're back in ancient Rome. Now, we left off with a quivering disabled man who'd been flung from behind a curtain. As Caligula lay dead on the floor, his baby had been taken off the stumps. And he is made emperor by the Praetorian Guard. Much to everyone's surprise. Yeah. And this is where, now, Claudius Truthers, Claudius conspiracy theorists would say that he had a part in Caligula's demise.
Josh Widdicombe 0:52
Well, we have no idea what happened sequentially. in this event, because it sort of reads a bit like a myth, right? We don't know how much is true. All we seemingly do know is that he bribed the Praetorian Guard loads and loads of money.

What role did bribery play in Claudius's rise to power?

Fin Taylor 1:08
But he had cash ready to go, which implies that he was in on a plan to murder Caligula. The disabled... noncy uncle yeah he's not noncy he's not noncy we've got to give him his juice he's actually a cuckold he's a nonce cuck now that is a combination yes the very very rare i want to i want to watch you commit pedophilia yeah is that what it is who are you here to watch me are you watching me meet someone here That's just fascinating. The nonce cuck. Yeah. Wow. Who are you here to watch me? You here to watch me meet someone? Let me meet someone in peace. That's great. If you're a nonce cuck, let us know in the comments. I've not even heard of that concept.
Josh Widdicombe 1:59
The nonce cuck. Can we get different pictures of different cuck seating arrangements?

What were Claudius's major accomplishments as emperor?

Josh Widdicombe 2:03
Because it's one of my favorite things on Twitter is in like new hotels or like hotel rooms where you find different, like the cuck command center.
Fin Taylor 2:11
I've seen the cuck command center. Yeah.
Josh Widdicombe 2:13
So there's always the classic where you put your feet up, but that's a bit more too leisurely.
Fin Taylor 2:16
Yeah. Yeah. This one's great. This one's great. Yeah.
Josh Widdicombe 2:19
So that means that you can get also,
Fin Taylor 2:21
yeah that means that you're taking it very seriously an executive cuck chair yeah yes uh well that's when you've got business to do whilst being cuckolded and that's part of the great thing about being a cuck is that it does open up time for you to get on with other things exactly yeah i don't have to i can you know my wife is being satisfied yeah and i'm being satisfied watching it but at the meantime i'm dealing with my emails As we've said before, the female equivalent is a coqueen. I can't remember what part of this we came up with, what episode this was on. I guess that doesn't get talked about as much. The coqueen is the wife of an adulterous husband.

How did Claudius's personal life impact his reign?

Fin Taylor 3:00
The gender opposite of a cuckold.
Josh Widdicombe 3:02
I guess because the cuck, when it's a man, it attacks your masculinity.
Fin Taylor 3:06
Yes, it's very gendered. It's very gendered, the notion of the cuck, isn't it?
Josh Widdicombe 3:09
But a cuck queen, it doesn't feel to attack someone's femininity because it's almost built into femininity you're getting cheated on. Do you know what I mean? It doesn't seem to be an attack on your gender.
Fin Taylor 3:19
No.
Josh Widdicombe 3:19
Being cuckolded if you're a woman compared to if you're a man.
Fin Taylor 3:22
But I guess if you're being cuckolded as a man, what is that doing to the woman? It's kind of irrelevant almost, isn't it? It's all about the male experience.
Horatio Gould 3:31
The woman's a prop.
Fin Taylor 3:32
Yeah.
Horatio Gould 3:32
What is it, Charlie?

What infamous actions did Messalina take during Claudius's rule?

Horatio Gould 3:33
But in cuckweening, the male is known as the hot husband and the other female is known as the cupcake.
Fin Taylor 3:38
The cupcake? The cupcake.
Josh Widdicombe 3:40
Yeah, still pretty objectifying, I think. Cuckweening is often known as... Wait, hot husband is like hot desking.
Fin Taylor 3:47
I guess it is, actually. Yeah. I'm hot husbanding.
Horatio Gould 3:50
You're renting out your husband.
Fin Taylor 3:52
Yeah.
Horatio Gould 3:53
For cut cakes.
Fin Taylor 3:55
Cut cakes. Cut cakes is a strange... It's too close to cupcakes, which is a child's cake. Yeah. Let's be honest.

How did Claudius handle political violence and conspiracies?

Fin Taylor 4:00
Or cut the cake.
Josh Widdicombe 4:01
Cut cake. But we're not talking about that. We're talking about one of the great cucks of all time.
Fin Taylor 4:05
One of the great cucks of all time. The cuck goat. He was the cuck goat. Cuck goat. He was not a nonce cuck. No. But that has whetted my appetite to try and see if such a man exists. Charlie, little task for this episode. Find me an example if one exists of a nonce cuck. Yes. Anyway, Claudius bribes the Praetorian guard straight away.

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