Nazis Are No Match For Knobbly Knees | Monty vs Rommel (Part 1/4)
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome back to Finn Vs. History. I'm joined by Horatio Graws. Good to be joined. We're back in World War II. We're in the desert. It's happening, lads. The knees are out. The knees are out. I'm getting brutally tan-mogged by Finn at the moment.
You're getting skin-mogged. You've just come back from Tenerife. I've been in the desert. And then you've decided that we're going to wear shorts. And you've humiliated me.
You're being skin-mogged right now.
Completely. I mean, I look white the best of times, but I chose my podcast partners on their whiteness, and now you've gone and tanned yourself.
Turns out I've got some heritage, it turns out.
Look at this. This is absolutely humiliating. And also, I've got tiny knees, and you've got big knees, and then I've got a big head, and you've got a small. So it's like a weird combination. The circus mirror.
But this is the beauty standards of most of history, is a small head, big thighs. Because you want a head that you can... Your head's too big to drown in a man's thighs. Yeah. Or a woman's thighs. Right. Okay. My head's the perfect size.
Okay, to fit in perfectly. Yeah.
To be cracked like a walnut in between a woman's thighs.
Yeah, but then also another Finn Taylor could fit perfectly with a jeans.
I could tessellate with myself.
Whereas my massive head's not going to be crushed by these knees.
Your thighs aren't going to take the edge off your fucking massive... What's a man meant to do with thighs like that? But also, you're more historically accurate in that you've got the British knobbly knees.
You look like a... I've got a patriot's knees. I don't know what's going on. You've got some not-today fucking knees going on. I do.
I do have not-today. Well, I've just come back from the Western Sahara, Tenerife, but it was close to the Western Sahara. Yes. Well, I suppose it's before and after, isn't it? You're Monty before. Yeah. And I'm Monty after.
This is Monty World War I. This is Monty World War II.
Yeah.
Today we're talking about Monty and Rommel. It's the start of an epic four-part series.
It's a homoerotic love affair.
It is. I say this now. Monty and Rommel, the North African desert, is my favourite part of World War II.
This is basically all of us strangers. You know the film with Andrew Scott and Paul Meskell? I've not seen it. I've not seen it. No. You can assume. There's two Irish guys fucking. Right. You can... Is that what I wanted in Robles? Yeah, basically, yeah. That's why I got out of the research.
That's not why I like it. Monty and Rommel, the North African desert. They're not two Irish blokes fucking. That's not what this is.
Conservatives down at a barbecue getting triggered.
This is what I'm wearing as well at the barbecue.
No, it's not that, actually. They're not fucking.
You're dressed like my dad on some early holidays in the 90s. Because this is what I love about the North African desert campaign. It is the highlight, the high point of big shorts. Yes. This is where big shorts beats the Nazis.
It's true.
And it's not something that happens again.
No, I guess big shorts have been a mainstay of the British Empire. Yes. But they've normally been mowing down indigenous people with a Gatling gun. Well, well, your words.
You know, they've been bravely fighting off insurgents.
Yeah, so I guess this is the highlight.
They've not been mowing down citizens.
This is the highlight of Big Shorts because it's up against another foe that's kind of equal measure.
This is like Scouts. You know, this is the high point of Brownies, of Scouts, fighting Nazis in the desert. The Nazis are on meth and it's sober men in Big Shorts who are saying no.
Would you say arguably underrated theatre of the war? Uncovered? I don't know if it's in the popular imagination that much, North Africa, when it's one of our big theatres. We've got Dunkirk, we've got Normandy, we've got D-Day.
But this is the only time in the war where the Britons actually win without the Americans. Yeah. And it's also the high point of... I guess that's why no one else talks about it. Exactly, yeah. And the Americans also, when they land in 1943, they make everything that Monty does completely irrelevant.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:02–4:25
2
How do Monty and Rommel set the stage for a North African duel?
4:25–20:06
3
What early life experiences shaped Bernard 'Monty' Montgomery?
20:06–41:07
4
How did Monty's military personality and trauma influence his leadership?
41:07–54:34
5
What were Erwin Rommel’s early career and romantic entanglements?
54:34–57:57
Speakers
5 identifiedMore from Fin vs History
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