TPP 164: Dr. Melissa Neff on Diagnosing and Treating Adults Newly Identified as Differently Wired
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
45 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 12 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the diagnostic process for children and how does it reveal parents’ neurodivergence?
At least nine times out of 10, there is one parent in the room that looks at that whiteboard as I'm giving results and I can see the changes on their face and I can see a recognition in them of, oh my gosh, this is me. And a lot of them say it out loud. Most of them do. Most of them say, oh my gosh, this sounds exactly like me.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm Debbie Reber, your host, and today I am so excited to share with you the first of a special two part series that I've been working on for a while now. About two years ago, I did an episode of the podcast with Dr. Melissa Neff. She's a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment of ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and autism spectrum disorders. And we talked about the diagnostic process. Since that time, we've stayed in touch, and last year, we got to talking about something she was seeing more and more in her practice, and that was this, parents bringing their kids in for assessments who are also in the midst of discovering their own neurodivergence, often because of what's going on with their kids.
And as I've been reading more and more about adults in their 30s, their 40s, even their 50s, identifying as having ADHD or being on the spectrum at a later point in their life, I wanted to explore this more through the podcast. I know that in our community, our kids often don't fall far from the tree. And being a differently wired parent, especially one who's still processing their own neurodivergence while raising a differently wired child can be complicated. So today is the first in this two-part series. In this week's episode, I'm interviewing Melissa, and we talk about what the unique challenges of going through this discovery process are as an adult, as well as look at considerations regarding diagnoses, therapy, and the parent-child relationship.
Then next week, I will be talking with four differently wired adults, Copper, Bill, Emma, and Nathan. all raising differently wired children and all still very much in the thick of reconciling their own life experiences and narrow differences while figuring out how to best move forward in a way that supports them and their families. Also, I would love your help in getting this two-part series out there so we can get a lot of listens, a lot of attention to this issue. So please consider sharing these episodes in your communities and your social media feeds. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And now I'll get on with the show. Hello, Melissa, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
I feel like this is an episode that's been a long time in the making. We've been talking about this for I don't know, I feel like almost a year. But I'm I'm really looking forward to this. I think this is one of those conversations that people are not really having, you know, outside of their homes or their, their small families. And I think it actually is going to be really relevant to my community. So. I've already given an introduction to kind of your top line credentials, but can you just introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your practice and what you do?
Sure. So I'm a clinical psychologist in Missoula, Montana. I have a private practice that is solely focused on assessment of children and adults. And I focus on, I would say that my practice is rapidly becoming about differently wired people. which I didn't expect when I went into practice, but which has been a wonderful diversion.
And when you're doing these assessments, and just for listeners, we covered in depth, I don't know, it must have been the first maybe six months of this podcast. So it's an oldie but goodie. But we did talk at length about what actually is involved in doing an assessment. But could you just give us the top line, what you're doing if someone comes in to either an adult or an adult bringing their child in for an assessment?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the diagnostic process for children and how does it reveal parents’ neurodivergence?
0:00–5:58
2
How do parents react when they recognize themselves in their child’s assessment results?
5:58–12:20
3
What are the common challenges for differently‑wired parents raising similarly wired children?
12:20–19:18
4
How does masking affect adults on the spectrum in work and at home?
19:18–23:58
5
What therapeutic approaches help adults process trauma from undiagnosed neurodivergence?
23:58–30:29
6
When should someone pursue a formal neuropsychological assessment versus an online screen?
30:29–35:49
7
How can spouses start a conversation about suspected neurodivergence in the relationship?
35:49–42:01
8
What resources and next steps does Dr. Melissa Neff recommend for newly identified adults?
42:01–45:44
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids