TPP 164a: Dr. Melissa Neff on Diagnosing and Treating Adults Newly Identified as Differently Wired
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
46 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 15 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is Dr. Melissa Neff’s background and focus in clinical psychology?
Hey there, it's Debbie. Today's episode is a special re-release of a favorite conversation from the archives. Unless you're a longtime listener of the show, there's a good chance you haven't heard this one before. And even if you have, you just might get something completely different from it this time around.
At least nine times out of ten. There is one parent in the room that looks at that whiteboard as I'm giving results and I can see the changes on their face and I can see a recognition in them. Of oh my gosh, this is me. And and a lot of them say it out loud. Most of them do. Most of them say, oh my gosh, this sounds exactly like me.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm Debbie Rieber, your host, and today I am so excited to share with you the first of a special two-part series that I've been working on for a while now. About two years ago, I did an episode of the podcast with Dr. Melissa Neff. She's a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment of ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and autism spectrum disorders. And we talked about the diagnostic process. Since that time, we've stayed in touch, and last year we got to talking about something she was seeing more and more in her practice, and that was this, parents bringing their kids in for assessments who are also in the midst of discovering their own neurodivergence, often because of what's going on with their kids.
And as I've been reading more and more about adults in their 30s, their 40s, even their 50s, identifying as having ADHD or being on the spectrum at a later point in their life, I wanted to explore this more through the podcast. I know that in our community, our kids often don't fall far from the tree. And being a differently wired parent, especially one who's still processing their own neurodivergence. while raising a differently wired child can be complicated. So today is the first in this two part series. In this week's episode, I'm interviewing Melissa and we talk about what the unique challenges of going through this discovery process are as an adult, as well as look at considerations regarding diagnoses, therapy, and the parent-child relationship.
Then, next week, I will be talking with four differently wired adults, Copper, Bill, Emma, and Nathan, all raising differently wired children and all still very much in the thick of reconciling their own life experiences and narrow differences while figuring out how to best move forward in a way that supports them and their families. Also, I would love your help in getting this two-part series out there so we can get a lot of listens, a lot of attention to this issue. So please consider sharing these episodes in your communities and your social media feeds. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, and now I'll get on with the show. Hello Melissa, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
I feel like this is an episode that's been a long time in the making. We've been talking about this for I don't know. I feel like almost a year. But I'm really looking forward to this. I think this is one of those conversations that people are not really having, you know, outside of their homes or their their small families. And I think it it actually is gonna be really relevant to my community. So I've already given an introduction to kind of your top line credentials, but can you just uh introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about your practice and what you do?
Sure. Um so I'm a clinical psychologist in Missoula, Montana. I have a private practice that is solely focused on assessment of children and adults. And I focus on um I would say that my practice is becoming rapidly becoming about differently wired people. Which I didn't expect when I went into practice, but which has
been
a wonderful diversion.
So and when you're doing these assessments and just for listeners, we covered in depth, I don't know, must have been the first maybe six months of this podcast.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is Dr. Melissa Neff’s background and focus in clinical psychology?
0:00–6:21
2
How does a neurodevelopmental assessment for children and adults work?
6:21–12:31
3
Why do many parents discover their own neurodivergence while seeking assessment for their child?
12:31–19:13
4
What are the emotional reactions (relief, grief, masking) adults experience when they receive a late‑life diagnosis?
19:13–24:00
5
How can couples start a conversation about suspected neurodivergence in a partner?
24:00–29:44
6
What strategies help families manage conflict when both parent and child are differently wired?
29:44–35:54
7
Which therapies, tools, and resources are most helpful for newly diagnosed adults?
35:54–41:26
8
What practical steps should someone take to pursue a formal evaluation versus an online self‑test?
41:26–46:00
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids