TPP 365: Dr. Alok Kanojia Explains How to Raise Healthy Gamers
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
41 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 14 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What are the main challenges parents face with gaming and screen time?
And so when we become unhealthy gamers is when the game is the primary source of our needs fulfillment. So when I am completely ashamed of myself in the real world, and instead of fixing that in any way, shape, or form, I retreat into the virtual identity, that becomes an unhealthy source of gaming. So what we really focus on is, okay, fine, by all means, play video games because video games are fun. They're here to stay. 98% of people under the age of 30 play video games. They're not going anywhere. And instead, what we really focus on is how can you build a life that is worth living so that gaming can be recreation?
I'm Debbie Reber, and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. So I married a gamer, and my 19-year-old is also a gamer. So I'm no stranger to the reality of video games being a significant part of daily life. But where's the line between healthy gaming and unhealthy gaming? How much gaming is too much? And when does the gaming habit evolve into gaming addiction? These are some of the questions regarding screen time that I hear from many parents, and they highlight some of the ongoing challenges families face in raising children who can be responsible tech users and whose screen use and gaming doesn't interfere with their lives in a way that can be harmful or keep them stuck.
So when I learned about the new book, How to Raise a Healthy Gamer and Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids by Dr. Alok Kanogia, I knew I wanted to invite him onto the show to talk about all things gaming with us. Alok, who goes by the name Dr. K, is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist specializing in the intersection of technology and mental health, not to mention a recovering gaming addict himself. He's the co-founder of Healthy Gamer, a mental health platform that serves the digital generation and is widely regarded as the foremost expert on video game addiction and most prominent mental health authority for young people. In this conversation, we talked about how we as parents can know whether our child is actually addicted to video games or not, why screen time limits and restricting gaming time are at odds with the goal of raising a healthy gamer, and how to shift to a holistic approach that considers overall well-being and goal setting.
We also talked about why children with ADHD are more susceptible to addictive behavior surrounding gaming and how to raise healthy gamers from a young age. This is a packed episode that is a must listen for any parent whose child interacts with online or video games. Good, good stuff. So here is my conversation with Dr. Alok Kanogia.
Hey, Dr. K, welcome to the podcast.
It's awesome to be here, Debbie. Thank
you for having me. Thank you for joining us to talk about how to raise a healthy gamer. When I got an email about this book, I was like, bing, that is definitely something I personally want to have a conversation with you about, but I know will be really helpful for my listeners. But before we get into that, would you take a few minutes and tell us what's kind of beyond the formal bio that I read in the intro and how you came to write this book?
Yeah. So I think my journey started with video game addiction. So I was addicted to video games and my parents were wonderful. They were loving, caring parents. They're both doctors, actually. So they understood medicine and to even a certain degree addiction, but they were just outgunned. So I think technology has grown so much and has become so invasive and incredibly addicting. And if you really think about parenting, like where do we learn how to parent? We learn to parent from our parents. And so if you think about the history of humanity, every parent has had to probably deal with some concerns around addiction. But those usually start when kids are maybe in high school, teenagers. But now, like parents are having to deal with this stuff at the age of one, two, three.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are the main challenges parents face with gaming and screen time?
0:00–7:04
2
How did Dr. Alok Kanojia’s personal journey shape his work on gaming addiction?
7:04–11:25
3
What signs indicate that a child’s gaming habit may be an addiction?
11:25–16:26
4
Why are children with ADHD more vulnerable to problematic gaming habits?
16:26–21:18
5
What does a ‘healthy gamer’ look like and how can parents foster that?
21:18–25:59
6
How can parents have open, non‑judgmental conversations about gaming with their kids?
25:59–30:41
7
Why do strict screen‑time limits often backfire, and what holistic alternatives work better?
30:41–35:38
8
What practical steps can families take right now to improve their child’s relationship with games?
35:38–41:20
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
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TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids