TPP 369: Parent Lean-In — Help! My Child Struggles with Games and Competition
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
19 min
2 speakers
3 chapters
transcribed 8 hours ago
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I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I get a lot of questions from listeners looking for help navigating complex situations with their kids. So in this new mini episode format, I'll be answering listener questions, sometimes all on my own, sometimes with one of the parent coaches from the Differently Wired Club, and sometimes with an author or expert who's become a trusted resource. Think of these bite-sized, short and sweet Parent Lean In episodes as a quick check-in. One question, one answer, featuring strategies, tips, or reframes that can support you in your parenting world.
To submit a question for a Parent Lean In episode, just go to TiltParenting.com slash Lean In. That's TiltParenting.com slash L-E-A-N-I-N. All right, here's today's episode. Hey, everyone. Today, I have parent coach Margaret Webb with me for this Parent Lean-In episode. Margaret is a dear friend. She was my very first parent coach back when my kid was a little, and I was really struggling. She's also the lead parent coach in my Differently Wired Club, where she provides a ton of support for the parents in that community. You also might have heard my recent episode with her where we talked about her wonderful new book, A Hero's Journey in Parenting, Parenting the Child You Didn't Expect When You Were Expecting.
So if you haven't heard that yet, definitely go back and check that episode out. But Margaret, welcome. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to be here. Okay, so today we're going to tackle, I thought this was a really great question. It was sent in to us, and I am pretty confident that at least some aspects of this question are going to resonate with a lot of listeners. Okay, so the question is, our son really struggles with games or any competition and responds with physical aggression when he loses. We've tried many therapies and medication with no changes in this area. We know this is a nervous system and possible PDA response, thus accommodate at home by allowing him to win. However, he started to play games at school and is having outbursts as his peers don't accommodate and will win.
I'm not sure if our accommodations are inadvertently creating more issues as he is so used to winning and if we should create more opportunities at home for him to lose so he can learn to work through it. However, I feel like we've tried that and he still was never able to cope. Would love any ideas. And just for context, this is a nine-year-old who is diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and anxiety. I have a lot of thoughts about this one because I read it. I was like, oh, yeah, been there. And Margaret, I'll be so curious to hear what you have to say. But here are a couple of kind of my big picture thoughts. First, I would just say this is definitely something that you will want to practice. especially if your child is drawn to games.
If a child doesn't want to play games and it's not necessary, then that's also something you could just reduce exposure to for now until your child's a little older and has better coping strategies. But if your kid is really drawn to games and competition, like so many of our kids are, I think it's a great idea to start practicing losing. And this is something we did really explicitly at home. And we would do games like Connect Four or Uno, so games that could be really fast. The stakes were pretty low, and they were also games of chance. which can be especially frustrating, but it kind of took that piece out that there's a skill deficit or your child's not smart enough.
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Chapters
3 chaptersSpeakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
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