TPP 465: How Can I Help My Kids Find Meaning When I’m Struggling to Find it Myself?
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
20 min
1 speaker
4 chapters
transcribed 16 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Hey there, I'm Debbie Rever, and this is Full Tilled Parenting. It's a podcast for parents raising neurodivergent kids. And this is a special parent lean-in episode. That means I answer a listener's question sometimes by myself, but usually with the help of one of my people that I learned from and people who are uh parent coaches in my differently wired club. And that's the case today. But if you have a question for a future parent, an episode you can go to tiltparenting.com slash lean in and you can submit a question and then we can answer it in a future episode. But today I have Zach Morris joining me. And Zach is a coach in my Differently Wired Club community. He has advised me over the years. He's been on the podcast many, many times, and he is a wise human.
Zach specializes in working with parents and young adults who are navigating the complex dynamics of neurodivergent experience. And he is uniquely equipped to serve families with profiles of autism, especially PDA and family. Families who are navigating trauma and families who are needing to heal and repair relationships. So thank you so much for being here, Zach.
Thank you, Debbie.
All right, well let's get into it. Let's get to today's question. So This listener is the parent of two kiddos, ages 11 and 9. They both have ADHD, depression, and anxiety. Both parents have the same diagnosis as their kids, and possibly more. So neurospicy family. And the listener wrote, I'm an ordained rabbi, recently divorced from another ordained rabbi who is the son of two rabbis. You might think that our kids are connected to their religion or have a sense. Sense of meaning, faith, our religious community. But because we've all been professionally engaged in the world of spirituality, when we come home, we are exhausted, depleted, and resentful and filled with doubt. The thing that we give to others, we have nothing left to provide at home.
Our kids are both neurodivergent, have a sense of meaningless anxiety and depression, and I'm finding it impossible to create a framework of meaning for them. My work feels like a lie that I perform for others. How can I help my kids find meaning and connection when I'm struggling to feel it myself? So that is a really yeah, I want to just take a breath after reading that question. It's very heavy. Let's take our sponsor break now. And when we get back, Zach and I will share our thoughts.
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Maybe. So let's just dive right in. And I will just say, Zach, I'm curious to know you what came to you right away. Cause what came to me right away are a bunch of metaphors, like put on your own oxygen mask first. You can pour from an empty cup. And I was like, how many metaphors am are coming to mind? And I I don't like metaphors in this circumstance because they can feel trite. What came up for you right away when you read this question?
Just just the complexity of this, right? Because we're not just talking about the challenge for our kiddos, right? We're talking about our our own challenging experience right now, right? Exhausted, depleted, resentful, right? Like that's hard. That's hard to be in that experience, right? And that's that's tribute to like, I I have some needs going unmet, right? So so just the the first thing that came up for me is the complexity of like I'm trying
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–6:42
2
What is the listener’s question about helping neurodivergent kids find meaning?
6:42–14:38
3
How do Debbie and Zach first react to the question and what metaphors do they use?
14:38–19:07
4
What ideas are suggested for bringing in external mentors or “respite‑care” helpers?
19:07–20:24
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids