TPP 478: Lynn Lyons on Navigating Anxiety in Families

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Unknown 0:00
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Debbie Reber 0:29
I'm Debbie Rieber, and this is Full Tilled Parenting. And today we're talking about anxiety, how it shows up in families, how it impacts our kids' growing independence, and what we can do to stop the cycle of worry from taking over. My guest may be familiar to you. Her name is Lynn Lyons. She's a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist who spent more than 35 years in the treatment of anxiety disorders in children, teens, and adults. She's also the author of several influential books, including Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents, and The Anxiety Audit, and she's the co-host of the popular podcast Fluster Clucks. You might have seen her in the New York Times, Time magazine, Psychology Today, or on Good Morning America or The Today Show.
Debbie Reber 1:12
In our conversation for this episode, Lynn and I will dig into the dynamics of anxiety within families, what happens when our kids Kids start to assert independence and how we can best support their mental health and social development. We'll also explore how to recognize when our own patterns might be contributing to the anxiety cycle. And a quick reminder, if you want to watch my conversation with Lynn, head over to my YouTube channel at Full Tilt Parenting. And while you're there, please subscribe. Leave a comment, share it out, whatever you feel inspired to do. All right, here's my conversation with Lynn Lyons on anxiety. Hey Lynn welcome to the podcast.
Lynn Lyons 1:52
Well, thanks for
Debbie Reber 1:52
having me. I'm delighted to be here. I am delighted to get to meet you. And I imagine a lot of my listeners are familiar with you, but for those who aren't, would you just take a few minutes and introduce yourself and your work in the world?
Lynn Lyons 2:04
Sure. So Lynn Lyons is my name. I live in Concord, New Hampshire. I have been in private practice over thirty years. So I've been a therapist for thirty-six years. I'm a social worker by degree.

What is anxiety’s role as a “cult leader” in family dynamics?

Lynn Lyons 2:19
I do a lot of clinical trainings of therapists. I work a ton in schools trying to help schools get up to speed with what kids need in terms of anxiety. That's an interesting thing we can talk about. Actually, the majority of accommodations and interventions for anxious kids are actually the opposite of what we need to do clinically. So I bang that drum a lot. Still have a practice. I don't work with kids alone in my practice. I am a huge advocate of making sure that parents are really included in the process. They need information, they need coaching. This is often a generational thing that families are dealing with. I'm a mom too. I have two sons. They are both grown, one's twenty-seven and one's twenty-five.
Lynn Lyons 3:06
And I work with my husband, he manages my business, and I do my podcast with my sister in law and brother. It's a family affair.
Debbie Reber 3:17
I love that. That's great. My husband recently, guess it's been almost a year, he's been working with me at Tilt and doing operations and it was a little bit of an adjustment, but it's starting to work now. So it's been really fun.
Lynn Lyons 3:29
Well, we've been doing it for a long time and we still have to make adjustments. And he's really good at the things that I don't like to take care of. So that comes in handy.
Debbie Reber 3:40
Yeah, that's great. I'm curious because you said you've been doing this work for over thirty years. Has the landscape changed? I just imagine not only in terms of our brain science and what we know, but just reality of life for kids today. What could you say about that?
Lynn Lyons 3:54
Yeah, so I think a lot has changed and I think that the reality of life for kids has changed, certainly. I think parenting has changed a ton. And That's something that probably within the last certainly before COVID, and of course, you know how it is, we're like pre-COVID and post-COVID, but the anxiety world and parenting in this world and anxious parenting has really sort of ramped up, probably in the last 10 years.

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