Sex in Midlife: It Doesn’t Have to Fade (and Can Even Be Great) | Susan Bratton
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Why do many people think sex fades in midlife and how can that belief be challenged?
So most people assume that midlife often shepherds in the slow death of sex and sensuality. But sex doesn't have to fade in your forties or fifties or beyond, can actually get better, more soulful, satisfying, and more connected than ever. Today's guest, Susan Bratton, reveals the frameworks, the language, and the practical tools that turn shame and often shut down into intimacy helping you build a a sex life that grows with you instead of disappearing over time and with age. If you ever thought, well, maybe this part of my life is over, this conversation will flip that script. Today's conversation is also guest hosted by a dear friend, acclaimed author and coach Cynthia Morris, who also brings her own late in life curiosity and honesty and reinvention into the discussion, and together they unpack why so many couples get stuck in duty and frustration and silence and how to move back towards pleasure play and honest connection for
You'll discover things like why libido, desire, and arousal are completely different, and why confusing them keeps couples stuck, how shame, fear, trauma, and performance anxiety quietly kill intimacy. You'll learn about the sexual soulmate pat and how it creates safer, more honest bedroom communication. You'll hear about why women often need more time and safety and surrender to arouse and how partners can work with that instead of against it, and how solo pleasure, sex tools, and experimentation can expand what Susan calls orgasmic capacity at any age. Susan also shares the truth of Turning point in her own marriage, from platonic distance and unmet needs to a radically more honest, pleasure centered relationship.
A little more about Susan Bratton. She's a trusted intimacy expert and author of numerous books and programs on love making techniques, intimacy communication, and regenerative intimacy. And she's the founder of Better Lover dot com and has spent decades helping people move from fear to pleasure. So excited to share this conversation with you. I'm Jonathan Fields and this is Good Life Project, and we'll be right back after this short break.
I love talking about sex and money because no one does. And we'll get to that. Let's start with this this feeling or this idea that a lot of people arrive in their forties or fifties in their sex life, the flame just kind of dies away or so they think. And they just decide, well, that's it. And that was definitely me. Um, in my late forties. I was like s I was single for seven years and I was like, This is it. It's just that's it. But you think that we have that backwards. Can you tell us why? Yeah, sure. That's your sex life
now.
It's super great. I found I found my husband and at yoga, which I love because embodied the last place I expected. And he's older. He's a bit older than me. And so I was like, for sure it's over. For sure there's not going to be any sex life. And it turns out I was completely wrong. It's the best sex life I've ever had. So um that's why I was like, This is Susan knows this and Susan has evidence and we can hear about it.
Yeah, it's funny, the um it really seems like the forties are Kind of a fork in the road for a lot of people, especially female bodied people. Um and and I'll use men, women, uh penis owners, vulva owners I'll use all kinds of terms because we're seeing a great shift in the matriarchal patriarchal roles in our culture right now we're examining that because we're not we're we're collectively dissatisfied with what's going on. And there's a great, you know, surge of gender spectrum and and all of those kinds of things. And so I just really want to acknowledge support of all people on their journey wherever they are in whatever container they live in. Um, because one of the things that I really like about the work that I've done on myself and my own life is living completely into what one might have in the old days called my masculine.
Versus my feminine And it really has a lot of impact on our sexuality. And one of the interesting things about kind of the stages of sex of your sex life is what I've seen over the years.
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Chapters
3 chapters
1
Why do many people think sex fades in midlife and how can that belief be challenged?
0:00–11:44
2
What personal turning point did Susan experience in her 40s that sparked a radical change in her marriage?
11:44–44:35
3
How does Susan differentiate between libido, desire, and arousal, and why does that matter for couples?
44:35–55:05
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Good Life Project
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