Attachment Styles ft. Alexis Fernandez | Part Two
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
A listener production. This is Happy Hour with Lucy and Nikki. And if you're easily offended, then this might not be for you.
Yeah, like if you are that compelled where you have to check the partner's phone and like you're like, I know I shouldn't, I know I shouldn't, but I have to, I have to, I have to. Why? What are you feeling? What have you seen? There's something that set that off. And that's why you're feeling the way you're feeling.
Cheers, babes. Welcome to Happy Hour with Lucy and Nikki, the real life shit you only discuss over a drink. But before we start, a little disclaimer.
So today we are here to talk part two of Attachment Styles, but this time you guys wrote in your question. Yeah. And we get the guru, Alexis. It's me.
Guru to the guru, doll. It's me.
It's me. We get the guru to the guru to chat today. You threw it. Shut up, you dude. The guru. Hurrah to the gurus.
But yeah, it's a fucking great app. We love your questions. And there's some self-aware queenies out there. Very.
Very impressed. Being self-aware, is it a blessing? Is it a curse? I reckon delusion is where happiness is found.
You like it? Yeah. Toxic positivity and delusion.
I think delusion is where success is found. Okay.
Oh, okay. You need to be tuned for part three, delusion equals success. Episode title, delusion is where success is found. We just talk all day with the guru about everything. How to succeed in life. Three points. Stay delulue, baby. Forever. Delusional forever. Anyway, let's get into it. Okay, so we've got a few questions that have been written in from the writers. First things first, from our listeners, I should say, that wrote in, lol. From the writers. From the writers from the Shakespearean era. Literally. Don't rush me because I will fumble my words.
All the authors out there. A couple of authors have written in, in fact. And we're talking attachment styles, guys.
Yeah, so I would say go back and listen to our episode number one if you haven't already because we really delve into the different types. Mm-hmm. And now that we're all educated queens on this, we can probably all weigh in our opinion on some of these questions.
That's it.
I'm excited. Okay, so number one. Hey girls, I have been waiting for an episode on this. Here we go. Perfect. Hmm.
Hmm. On the other hand, in that exact same situation, my boyfriend seems much more unaffected. He comes across like it's no big deal, doesn't show the same level of emotion. I know it doesn't necessarily mean that he cares less, but it can be hard to not feel hurt by it. What makes it more difficult is that when I bring it up, he often gets defensive and says that he is sad. He just doesn't show it the same way I do and that I'm overthinking it. To an extent, I know he's right. I can definitely overthink things. But I also wonder whether it's fair to expect some level of adjustment in how we respond to each other. If you know your partner feels loved and reassured by certain things, shouldn't there be some effort to meet them there even if it doesn't come naturally to you?
I think a lot of this comes down to our different attachment styles and the idea that you shouldn't treat someone the way you want to be treated but rather the way that they want to be treated. Oh, very mature. It feels like a constant battle because I often feel like I need more from him while he probably feels like he needs less from me. How do you navigate a relationship where your attachment styles are so different? At what point is it important to work on your own insecurities and attachment own insecurities and anxious tendencies versus just asking your partner to make adjustments that help you feel loved and secure?
Great question. Great question. And I think it's... Very self-aware. Very self-aware. And with that question at the end, I think it's a mix between doing as much as you can to control what is within your control. Like what can I do to mitigate like my levels of anxiety and things like that, which I think she is doing already.
She sounds very, very self-aware. Very aware.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:02–4:31
2
What questions kick off Part Two of Attachment Styles with Alexis?
4:31–11:20
3
How do partners navigate different attachment needs when one is more anxious?
11:20–21:19
4
When is incompatibility vs effort the reason relationships fail?
21:19–50:16
5
What practical strategies reduce anxious attachment and jealousy?
50:16–53:08
Speakers
4 identifiedMore from Happy Hour with Lucy & Nikki
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