will love ever find me

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Healing From Irishness 18 min 1 speaker 6 chapters transcribed 2 months ago

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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

How does the host introduce the episode and set expectations?

Unknown 0:02

Hello, how's it going? This is going to be a short one. It's going to be a short one because the heat has melted my brain. I find it very hard to string words together. So thank you for your patience. That's why I've made it short. So dear, kind, wonderful. cool, deprived listeners all over the world. Welcome to Healing from Irishness. In this episode, I'm going to talk about our relationships and how we as Irish people, because of our childhoods, we're just not really set up to thrive in relationship. In this episode, I'm going to teach you how.

Conor Creighton 1:09

hey everybody how's it going um i've been off off air for a while and just i had my tour the tour of ireland which was so beautiful wow i felt like

What happened on the host's Ireland tour and why did it feel safe?

Conor Creighton 1:27

I felt like just this phenomenal cloud of safety around me wherever I went. There was something deeply righteous about... Righteous? Why did I use that word I said? Like a pastor from the north. But there was just something very, very calm and caring about the journey. Everywhere I went... Um, I was offered places to stay and people said, oh, let me cook dinner and things like this. It felt, um, it felt like there was something deeply like Buddhist about it. I could just move through the country and depend upon the generosity and just goodwill of people, which was quite remarkable because I, I, when I left Ireland because it didn't feel like a safe place for me. I left Ireland because I didn't feel that

Conor Creighton 2:20

that my real self could emerge and be witnessed safely. And little did I know that I just had to find the right places to go. Little did I know that I had to just find the right people. And the way that I found the right people was by expressing myself in the most authentic way possible. And there's a lovely formula to that. If you begin to just express yourself, I always come back to that great Terence McKenna quote, you know, that nature loves courage. When you begin to just courageously be yourself, then reality just rearranges itself to support you. My two weeks in Ireland, traveling around the country with kind of just very kind of haphazard organization of this tour. And whenever I was tired or didn't have somewhere to stay, people would offer me a place.

Conor Creighton 3:23

It was just, you know, financially I was looking at it and I was like, oh, this isn't going to work out so great. Maybe I'll break even. And then I looked at the numbers afterwards and I was like, wow, I actually did really well from that. And so my takeaway from this whole journey was that really fortune favors the brave. And I feel that I've come back from Ireland and back in Spain again here, sweltering in the heat, but I've come back with a sense that, oh, I am safe there. And I know that a lot of people who listen to this show, you're not in Ireland. You're part of our vast growing diaspora. And a lot of us leave because we don't feel safe in Ireland. I know because these are the conversations I have every day with Irish people.

Conor Creighton 4:10

People saying that they're not particularly safe and that's why they leave. And that's kind of what I want to talk about in this episode. And I really want to talk about childhood. And I think it's going to be a short episode, but then I never really know once I open my mouth. But my sense is that I just need to get a message across because I think it's a very important message for many of you. And the message is simply this. Our childhoods set us up to live highly disadvantaged interpersonal lives. And let me unpack that a little bit more. Our childhoods, the messaging, the rules, the script that we're given. When I say something like script, what I really mean is the unconscious set of rules that you start to live life by.

Conor Creighton 5:03

We all adopt scripts at a young age. We adopt scripts as sort of a survival strategy.

How did childhood experiences shape the host's view of relationships?

Conor Creighton 5:08

You notice that in children when they begin to manipulate first or when they begin to lie first or when they begin to kind of show this sort of sometimes these levels of like selflessness. I think that's a big thing in a lot of Irish kids, especially 80s, 90s kids, you know, this sense of selflessness.