Help I Sexted My Boss

Help They’ve Ruined My Crêpe Suzette

13 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William’s had a week of highs and lows. After being featured in another celeb TikTok he then finds himself crashing back down to earth aft...

Evita, Air Fryers and Horny Ben

09 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The boys once again delve into your responses and receive a very Sexted themed jingle for ‘International Cock Or Ball’. There’s also an official...

Help He Violated My Toothbrush

06 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

BIG NEWS. William is thinking of getting a hat. Yes, he does have one already. No, the Fedora doesn't count. After Jordan recounts the highs and lows ...

Ben's Travel Diary, Scrapbooks and Bad Luck

02 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's the moment we've all have been waiting for... Producer Ben's travel diaries! Strap in for some wild* tales from Ben's travels across South Americ...

Help He’s Growing A Mullet

29 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s rocking a “trendy” new haircut, and it’s safe to say William is not impressed. Last week after William’s Jolly Joke, Jordan tries h...

Burnley, Viral Twins and Ben Is Dull

25 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

With Burnley back in the Premier League next season, Jordan's keen to celebrate, and somehow William is also in the mood to probe the promotion. The b...

Help He Tinkled On My Toes

22 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William attempts a Jolly Joke of the Week, though some censorship may have taken the edge off. Jordan brings not one, but two unwanted bathroom update...

Scrapbooks, Serial Killer Stains and Searching For Davinder

18 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s love for spotless garments is thrown into question when a listener reveals some killer information about his beloved Shout Wipes. Meanwhile...

Help I Swallowed A Stranger's Toenail

15 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s nursing a hangover this week, but William’s on hand to keep things lively with a hotly requested calendars etiquettemology. The Sexted mu...

Birthdays, Blu-ray’s and Backseat Boinking

11 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan shares some shocking details about his conception, and in the spirit of definitely not being a sex podcast, he also opens up about his brief fo...

Help My Poo Ruined Pudding

08 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There’s some Freaky Friday energy in the studio as William, feeling tender after a martini-fueled bender, starts talking football, while Jordan step...

Pranks, Priests and Food Swings

04 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are still reeling from the team’s prank, and are already plotting their revenge. William has the latest scoop on the Vatican’s hot priest...

Help I’m Going To Be A Star

01 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There’s a big announcement, but only one of the boys is in the spotlight - cue the tension. Jordan’s boxers make an unexpected appearance during a...

Stretch Limos, Spice Girls and Split Sandwiches

28 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William paints a complete picture of his 7th birthday party complete with limos, bowl cuts, and, of course, proper etiquette - quite different from Jo...

Help He’s A Suitcase Shagger

25 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There’s been a major incident in the studio… William has a stain on his shirt. Trying to distract from the drama, Jordan tells us all about rubbin...

Sloshed Singing, Gay Goats and A Relationship Review

21 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Sexted has officially reached the ripe old age of seven! The podcast has aged like a fine wine, but the boys? Less so. With Dubonnet firmly in the mix...

Help We're Getting Smashed

18 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It’s birthday week! The boys reminisce on the last seven years and celebrate with a drink… or five. As the alcohol kicks in, they discuss their re...

Security Scuffles, Sistine Shops and Spanish Cock Or Ball

14 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The boys take Cock or Ball international with a little help from a Spanish G&Diva. William is gearing up to school us all on the Sistine Chapel (not t...

Help It Squirted In My Eye

11 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William is fresh off a flight and running on no sleep, while Jordan has been busy slaying as Dorothy with a nasty case of pink eye after an unexpected...

Mikey’s Mandate, Operatic Offerings and The Dorothy Dupe

07 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There’s an official statement from Mikey correcting the misinformation spread by the boys in Tuesday’s episode. Jordan’s been duped into a World...

Help I’m Lady Garden

04 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fresh from their road trip to Devon, the boys reflect on the weekend with mixed reviews. One thing they can all agree on, though, is Sarah Hanson’s ...

Jordan Smith, William Bucket and Ben Lorrywrong

28 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s flashing his fresh pearly whites after having a ‘big thing’ in his mouth. William’s passive-aggressiveness seems to be spreading - es...

Help He Keeps Licking My Toes

25 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Things heat up in the studio as Jordan reminisces about a romantic teenage fling in Tenerife and reveals his latest true crime obsession, fuelled by a...

Career Changes, Playlist Problems and Noisy Neighbours

21 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are gearing up for another road trip, but Jordan has a few musical ground rules before they hit the road. Plenty of G&Divas have been in touc...

Help I’ve Got A Huge Wadge

18 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William’s Etiquettimology is flush with facts as Jordan discovers the true meaning of his name. In the midst of his newfound mid-thirties crisis, Jo...

Chat Up Lines, Courting Catastrophes and Creamy Endings

14 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Love is in the air as the boys get their gladrags on (well, one of them does) and dive into their first date. Will sparks fly or is it a recipe for di...

Help I've Got Clunch On My Halfzip

11 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s battling a “mid-thirties” crisis with a trip back to Burnley, while William’s off to Sweden (Voooodpecker!) for his grand debut on Sw...

Irritating Icks, Immaculate Lavatories, and Impending Izzy

07 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are dishing out their verdicts on the G&Divas' icks, and who’d have thought it, they’ve added a few of their own to the list. The prestig...

Help I Witnessed A Muff Drying

04 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William tackles his noisy neighbour problem with a masterfully written passive-aggressive text, while Jordan has suggested a sex toy ban (#notasexpodc...

Fancy Gays, Fighting Fines and Ben's Big Load

31 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Snuggle up because it’s story time featuring a dramatic reading of a very special book about a boy called Ben and his… enormous load. Like Jordan,...

Help I Got Pied Off For A Steak Bake

28 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan is back to his northern roots with a star return at Turf Moor, but he’s not the only one in the spotlight, William’s fresh from his glitter...

Cottaging, Cremations and Car Crashes

24 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are off on their annual cottaging trip, but before they head out, they’re playing judge and jury, deciding which G&Diva confessions deserve...

Help William’s Got A Hard Out

21 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

William has a sweet and salty surprise for Jordan’s tastebuds in the studio. The boys realise they’re both hardened criminals after Jordan’s run...

Fierce Feuds, Foreign Foods and The Fister

17 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The boys have received a late Fistmas gift - let’s just say it’s a handful. They run through their 2025 ins and outs, covering everything from las...

Help We’re Pushing Ben’s Big Button

14 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After what feels like a month of avoiding each other, the boys are finally reunited! Since their last episode, they’ve jetted off to New York... at ...

Help There’s A Sausage Roll In Santa’s Sack

24 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the Sexted Christmas Special, and the only way to celebrate is with a three-way Secret Santa! But, surprise surprise, someone might’ve left t...

Festive Fails, Fancy Fa-La-Las, and Christmassy Feels

20 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan gets misty-eyed over a G&Diva’s Gingerbread House tribute, while William struggles to grasp Secret Santa rules. The boys also discover a trou...

Help I Got Sixty-Blinded

17 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan relives his Jingle Bell Ball wardrobe drama, while William reveals the latest twist in his solo tour preparations. A fierce debate kicks off ov...

Naughty Neighbours, Nuisance Bills and Newspapers

13 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William’s got two bones to pick this week as his noisy neighbours are at it again, and a certain newspaper seems to have published a very familiar a...

Help I’ve Got My Sugar Daddy’s Bear

10 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There’s a ringing in the studio… one we’ve not heard in a long time - it’s the Christmas Help Hotline! The boys lend an ear to a couple of G&D...

Panto, Pitiful Impressions and Prehistoric Beings

06 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William’s received some lovely handwritten letters, including a charming depiction of the team as dinosaurs. Jordan briefly hands over his impressio...

Help My Poo’s On The Loose

03 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan reaches new heights of fame with his exclusive DJ set at Haven, while William finds a new way to unleash his passive-aggressive notes at restau...

Setlists, Surprises and Singing Scandals

29 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s gearing up to showcase his DJ skills at Haven, and William is ready to pitch a few unique song suggestions for the setlist. The boys are br...

Help He Bashed His Bishop

26 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s feeling under the weather (not that he’d ever mention it, of course) and comes prepared with a neck pillow and tissues up his sleeves. Me...

Live Shows, Lineage and Likkle Flower Pots

22 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys explore their family roots as Social Jo shares a fascinating dive into their ancestry. Meanwhile, Jane McDonald is stealing the limelight onc...

Help I Want Clone-A-Willy Custody

19 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William stumbles upon an award-winning loo, while Jordan is busy preparing for the state visit from Wendy and Graham (get your potato peelers ready!)....

Mistaken Messages and Middle Class Mas

15 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There’s a touch of middle class charm in the studio this week, with messages about fancy baskets and mice-themed books. But as always, a hint of mis...

Help I Don’t Know My Holes

12 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Things have spiralled into chaos in the studio, starting with French kisses and ending in a full-on tickle fight on the floor. Amidst all the tension,...

Workplace Roleplay, Wrestling and Weddings

08 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ever wondered what Jordan would be like as a masseuse or William as a mechanic? Wonder no more, as the boys dive into their impressions of an alternat...

Help We Won £200,000,000

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, William and Jordan are guests on Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams, the podcast where guests talk host Sarel through all the ways they’d spen...

Help We’re Just A Couple Of Dancing Queens

05 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys bond over their shared love of ABBA as William prepares to see Voyage. After tackling a dilemma about a potential home buyer’s unusual requ...

Childhood Nostalgia, Chocolate Economics and Central Milton Keynes

01 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William’s got a new reason to break out a classic TV ad song… once again. Childhood memories come flooding back as the G&Divas share what sparks t...

Help I’m Scared Of Clowns

29 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William has been caught red-handed after a damning accusation from Mikey is brought to light. The topic of Halloween costumes brings up Jordan’s chi...

Jordan’s Jobs, Common Customs, And William’s Wheel Woes

25 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan adds another title to his résumé: film star! He may have taken some inspiration from a certain northern builder on the podcast for his new ro...

Help My Fart Cleared The Building

22 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William faces more diplomatic troubles as he’s denied entry into New York for a work trip (and this time, it wasn’t because of a rogue laser), whi...

Professions, Photoshop, and Provocative Prints

18 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William dives into your questions about what an etiquette expert actually does, while Jordan shares his feelings about the photoshopped image used for...

Help I Scooped It Into A Kebab Box

15 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

After appearing at separate events, the boys share their on-stage mishaps. A flashback to Jordan’s old call centre days sparks a Clone-A-Willy rolep...

Snot Bubbles, Spotting Ben, and Spreadable Butter

11 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jordan dive into your awkward greetings, featuring an unfortunate snot bubble and an accidental winding. Plus, D isn’t the only thing yo...

Help I Sexted Drunk Women Solving Crime

10 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jordan put on their detective hats as they’re joined by Hannah and Taylor from Drunk Women Solving Crime. Together, they investigate the...

Help I Got A Gassy Greeting

08 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Tension simmers in the studio as the boys overhear some serious smack talk from their studio neighbours, Elis and John. William shares his Hogwarts Le...

Silver Sexters, Sketchy Sketches and Stoop Sales

04 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys settle on a name for our more seasoned G&Divas, and they dive into your quirky Autumnal rituals. Meanwhile, William learns he has a mischievo...

Help I’m Still Wearing The Strap-On

01 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys attend Producer Ben’s engagement drinks, and in a shocking turn of events, William orders a pint for the first time. Meanwhile, Jordan is e...

Roleplay, Revenge, and Retro Names

27 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys dive into some awards roleplay to ensure they’re prepared for any circumstance. We hear your sibling revenge stories, with William and Jord...

Help My Bronzer Is Cat Poo

24 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William’s fame has reached new heights after being stopped multiple times on the way to the tube station… luckily, Jordan was on hand to act as hi...

William’s Pranks, Waterloo and Wrong Lyrics

20 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan comes armed with gifts to celebrate William becoming a Sunday Times Bestseller, for the second time! We get a sneak peek into William’s schoo...

Help I Fell Off My Cha Cha Chair

17 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William’s new Etiquettemology jingle is so groundbreaking it literally knocks Jordan off his chair. Once he’s back up, Jordan struggles through re...

Strange Gifts, Sore Throats, and Slippery Slip-ups

13 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William is sounding a bit more sultry than usual after losing his voice, but to lift his spirits, the boys go through a list of the weird and wonderfu...

Help I Flashed My Flaps

10 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are back from their “relaxing” and eventful holidays. William narrowly escaped a hotel fire, while Jordan’s dodgy Ibiza taxi ride left ...

Mischief, Musicals and Matching Mutts

06 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jordan dive into your mischievous school stories, taking them back to the days of stink bombs - or, in William’s case, agar jelly prank ...

Help I Sexted My Secret Mum Club

05 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys team up with Sophiena and Emma from the Secret Mum Club, and things get unhinged. William and Jordan get a crash course in the wild world of ...

Help It’s William’s Birthday!

03 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It’s William’s birthday! And he’s in for a little surprise from his nearest and dearest. Meanwhile, Jordan’s having a bit too much fun with a ...

Passive Aggressive Texts, Podcast Connections, and Precarious Oil

30 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William’s Passive Aggressive Text of the Week is back, and it’s as gloriously snarky as ever. Jordan’s olive oil collection sparks the burning q...

Help I’ve Got A Mole In My Freezer

27 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys gear up for their holidays, but not before William starts making some minor changes to his funeral plans— roping Jordan into planning his a...

School Days, Soft Play and Sparkling Drinks

23 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan and William take a trip down memory lane as they reminisce about their school days. Plus, William continues to be disgusted by G&Diva mixing st...

Help I'm Sniffing My Underwear

20 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jordan go on quite the journey in this episode. They start with theatrical chat about Shakespeare and end with someone having spunk on the...

Clone-A-Willy Wonka, Chocolate Biscuits and Comedy Door Hangers

16 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan's had a flash of inspiration for the next tour, and William's strong thoughts on comedy hotel door hangers are softened by a lovely gift f...

Help I Stumbled Into The Girls Bathroom

15 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Help, William and Jordan have entered The Girls Bathroom! In this special Sexted And Friends collab, life-long besties Sophia and Cinzia joi...

Help He Heard Our Naughty Nickname

13 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Bare feet on tables, a spoiled proposal and a mother finding a bottle she really shouldn’t have are just some of your dilemmas in this week’s epis...

Jordans Scribbles, Stinky Pits, and Betty Swallocks

09 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We finally get an answer to the age-old question: What is Jordan doodling when William’s talking? The boys hear about an underground deodorant black...

Help I Picked Up A Tato With My Tots

06 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan bares it all - literally - after a listener shares a toe-tally bizarre story about their brother's new girlfriend picking up a roast potato wit...

Chocolate Straws, Confrontational Accents, and Chafing Chefs

02 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s testing his sucking prowess as he experiments with the KitKat straw method. The boys dive into roleplaying awkward conversations with some ...

Help William Vetoed The Episode Title

30 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There are a few hairy dilemmas this week with one G&Diva being caught blowdrying their bush and another witnessing a bear (golden) showering in the wi...

Sports Days, Spirits and Soggy Biscuits

26 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William fondly recounts his Hanson Family Sports Day as the G&Divas suggest a few activities for a Sexted alternative. Jordan realises his relatives a...

Help My Grandparents Are Nudists

23 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys hear about the dangers of rummaging through your Grandparents’ belongings and lend a hand to a G&Diva dealing with some gassy bedroom tende...

Book Club, Blowing Kisses and Ball Questions

19 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan shares his holiday reads in the Sexted book club, William's throwing insults and we get to know the boys through their most used emojis. Host...

Help Producer Ben Is Engaged

16 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The Sexted wedding bells are soon to be ringing again and this time it’s for Ben and Cat! (Congrats guuuuys) Jordan’s been rubbed up by a Greek Be...

Sporting Fixtures, The Sleeping Forecast and Summer Neckerchiefs

12 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week William has been busy keeping up with the football and tennis (no, we’re not in an alternate universe), whilst Jordan has been gathering c...

Help I Stole A Dead Dog

09 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Things are getting morbid in the studio this week as we hear about the deathly consequences of stealing other people’s luggage on a train. William i...

Daily Luxuries, DuckTales and Dame Julie Andrews

05 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With Jordan going on about his Bliss Hour, William has decided to build his own Luxury Hour based on your delightful suggestions. The boys are whisked...

Help I’ve Offended A Nun

02 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There’s nothing holier than Sexted this week. Nun’s the word in the Jolly Joke and a surprising harp-related dilemma. Jordan remembers a shock enc...

Chloronics, Clit Bang and Chester Drawers

28 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jordan’s fuddling up his mucking words again… But he’s not the only one, lots of G&Divas have been in touch with the words and phrases they’ve...

Sexted And Friends: Keeping Up Appearances

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's another Sexted And Friends special, with our very own William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith for their luxury podcast about the British sitcom,...

Help I’m A Doggy In Disguise

25 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fetishes don’t easily phase the boys but this one takes the (doggy) biscuit, as one listener asks for advice on how to keep their puppy lifestyle un...

Colouring Books, Classy Clinking and Childhood Catastrophes

21 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys want to see your artistic creations after a very talented G&Diva sent in their Sexted colouring book! William’s schoolboy hair error has in...

Help You Gave Me The Thumb

18 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

He may be the queen of sarcastic comebacks, but in this episode William questions whether receiving a thumbs up emoji is an innocent response or just ...

Births, Burials and Brisk Searches

14 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Lots of G&Divas have been in touch to tell us about the weird and wonderful places they’ve listened to the podcast, and some of them are rather unex...

Help I’m Fel Ching

11 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

You’d think we’d be experts at understanding sexual terminology by now (#notasexpodcast), but it turns out someone is letting the team down. Away ...

Platform Potato Peelers, Puppy Love, and Podcast Babies

07 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

William and Jordan helping a G&Diva through active childbirth wasn’t on the Sexted bingo card for 2024, but here we are. Between the heavy breathing...

Help I Hate Your Speaker

04 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

There are two very different vibes in the studio this week, William’s expelling his rage towards speakerphone users, whilst Jordan calmly fills us i...

Saturday Morning, Sitges and Swears

31 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are back in the studio and Jordan’s already jet-setting away! But before he jumps on a plane some quintessentially British insults need rev...