Help I’m Monster-Sized | And Jordan’s A GNOME?!

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Help I Sexted My Boss 45 min 5 speakers 4 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Unknown 0:02
Your Dilemma Daddies are on the way. Straight after this episode, hit play on Get a Grip with Angela Scanlon and Vicky Patterson. Holiday season is here, finally, and the ladies are unpacking a dilemma of their own. Have holidays become too performative? You know Angela and Vicky have plenty to say on the subject. Search for Get a Grip now and queue up the episode to play straight after this one to hear all of their holiday hot takes. I'm Jack Remington. And I'm Ash Ho. And we get into all sorts of tomfoolery on our podcast, The Jack and Ash Show. Oh, here we go. Oh, I'm from up north. They only know about chippies and batter. If a cherry tomato makes me gay, then my God, smother me in a rainbow and push me down the river, my love.
Unknown 0:51
How amusing. It is amusing. We also help you out with some good. No, let's be honest. It's mostly bad advice. Watch and listen to The Jack and Ash Show wherever you get your podcasts.
William Hanson 1:04
Entering the timer. Lucky old timer. Three, two, one.
Jordan North 1:09
Oh, I'm sick of this timer.
William Hanson 1:12
Doing that timer, as a child, if there was a button, I would press it. I was obsessed with buttons, levers, and knobs. You got a button, I'll press it. You got a lever, I'll pull it. You got a knob, I'll do whatever you like.
Jordan North 1:31
Hello and welcome to Help I Sexed My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life, answering 21st century questions and finding solutions to everyday dilemmas, like how do you react to another one of Geordie's rants? I haven't been ranting, it's just... Sorry, were you not present last week? Observations. You called it. Can I just do another Geordie's rant?
William Hanson 1:53
I am not. I don't know why I did Jonathan an impression. It's because after our luxury crossover episode from Friday.
Jordan North 1:58
And how do you tell your other half you're not into pegging? And what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss?
William Hanson 2:04
But we're not usual agony aunts, are we, William Hanson? No, we're not, Jordan North. I'm more luxury spa deep tissue massage. You're more darkroom Kleenex tissue discharge.
Jordan North 2:14
Oh.
William Hanson 2:15
And that's from Archie.
Jordan North 2:16
Archie. Do you know him? Actually, I'm not one to judge, but going by your name, that's proper posh boy humour. I'm more luxury deep tissue massage. You're more luxury north darkroom Kleenex tissue discharge. You having that one, Rory? I said he's more darkroom Kleenex tissue discharge. You having that?
William Hanson 2:38
Probably find him in a pub near you.
Jordan North 2:40
Uh-huh. Huh? Henry, did you hear what I just said?
William Hanson 2:44
Yeah, okay. Would you like to pour the G&D this week whilst I read this substantial message from Freya and Lincoln? I'll be mother. Who is going to get the toast. She says, Hi guys, I'm writing to show you that your logo has made it into my Leavers shirt. I'm 16, so don't worry. I've been a G&D for a while now and just wanted to say that your podcast is amazing and you guys were fantastic on tour. As someone with ADHD who often gets bored when listening to people just talk, I can confidently say that your podcast is the only one I can listen to without ever getting bored, so thank you. It also has been the best distraction from exam stress, so thank you both for being you and producing this incredible podcast.
Jordan North 3:20
Why did you ask me to put sorry? That was a really lovely letter, Freya. I should put G everywhere, D everywhere.
William Hanson 3:28
And look, we've got a photo. We'll put it on the carousel. Help, it's Lever's Day. On a white shirt. With a black marker and a red marker, you've recreated our logo, which is lovely.
Jordan North 3:39
For an ADHD-er to say that they don't get bored of us, that's a complete compliment. Yes. Let me empty my pockets here. Talking of ADHD-ers. Don't let me forget them. Why have I got pliers in there? Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Just can't do all the bits everywhere. Where's my keys?
William Hanson 4:05
The sooner you are medicated, the better. I'm just going to rip the plaster off.
Jordan North 4:10
No, I'm worried about it because I've got one cut. I'm worried that it'll take off my shine. No.
William Hanson 4:16
No? I don't think that's how it works. And also, if it does, from what I know about it, you just literally stop taking it in 24 hours, you're back to the same old you.

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